Story New Here, struggling with the toughst time of my life

[Shadowgeist]

I just got approved to post earlier today, but I have been reading these forums for the last 3 weeks. Like most here, I am really struggling right now. Found out 5 weeks ago that my wife of 13 years has been seeing another man for over a year. I came home early from work one day to find out. She wants a divorce, we have 3 little girls at home. For me, this is not an option. I love my wife, she is my best and only friend, and I only live for her and my family. I dont want to live without her.

Three weeks ago, things came to a head, and while we were drinking in our home, I stabbed myself multiple times in the abdomen because I was unable to convince her to try and rectify things between us. I dont want to live without her as my wife, and I don't want to lose my family. And I could not bare the thought of losing it all at the time.

Needless to say, I ended up in a hospital for 9 days, and then a mental ward for 6 more. Now my wife won't even talk to me or respond to my messages. I have been kicked out of the house and forced.to live with my mother. My wife thinks I am a danger to her and our children. She wants nothing to do with me it seems.

I wake up everyday crying, I find joy in nothing anymore. I have lost everything that I care about in my life, and to top it all off, I am financially in a bad place right now as well. I wish I had died 3 weeks ago when I stabbed myself.

The only thing keeping me from taking my life right now, is the very slim chance I could get my marriage and family back. But each day gets harder and I dont know how much more I can take. I just want it all to end, to feel nothing instead of all this pain and regret.

Sorry to go on so long. And thanks for reading. I just am filled with so much despair. It's too much to handle

 

[WornOutLife]

Hello, dear!
First of all, welcome to SS!!!

You'll meet lots of nice people here who will really "listen" to you and try to help you somehow and I bet you'll help many of us with your experience too.

I'm really sorry you're going through this.

I know very well the pain you're in because I suffered from deep depression for 3 years (even became a NEET) but just now I've started to feel better.

Feel free to pm me whenever you wanna talk!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

I'm so sorry. I'm sort of on the other end. I pretty much lost the window to have my own child, and there's no way I can afford to adopt one. It's eating me up inside and there's nothing I can do.

But - I will say, please try for your girls. I have no right to say that though. But I feel it. I hope things turn out okay for you.

 

[Largeletters]

I'm so sorry for all you're going through... you certainly don't deserve it and I wish things could be easier for you. Whatever you choose, I hope you can find peace.

 

[hermes]

I just got approved to post earlier today, but I have been reading these forums for the last 3 weeks. Like most here, I am really struggling right now. Found out 5 weeks ago that my wife of 13 years has been seeing another man for over a year. I came home early from work one day to find out. She wants a divorce, we have 3 little girls at home. For me, this is not an option. I love my wife, she is my best and only friend, and I only live for her and my family. I dont want to live without her.

Three weeks ago, things came to a head, and while we were drinking in our home, I stabbed myself multiple times in the abdomen because I was unable to convince her to try and rectify things between us. I dont want to live without her as my wife, and I don't want to lose my family. And I could not bare the thought of losing it all at the time.

Needless to say, I ended up in a hospital for 9 days, and then a mental ward for 6 more. Now my wife won't even talk to me or respond to my messages. I have been kicked out of the house and forced.to live with my mother. My wife thinks I am a danger to her and our children. She wants nothing to do with me it seems.

I wake up everyday crying, I find joy in nothing anymore. I have lost everything that I care about in my life, and to top it all off, I am financially in a bad place right now as well. I wish I had died 3 weeks ago when I stabbed myself.

The only thing keeping me from taking my life right now, is the very slim chance I could get my marriage and family back. But each day gets harder and I dont know how much more I can take. I just want it all to end, to feel nothing instead of all this pain and regret.

Sorry to go on so long. And thanks for reading. I just am filled with so much despair. It's too much to handle

sorry to hear what you are going through. hopefully this misery is short lived and things will turn around for you.

 

[Symbiote]

I've always feared something like this can happen in my life and devised different back up plans. I knew if it were to happen to me, I would have to get away from civilization and just live in the mountains with a dog because every time I see happy families, I probably fall apart. I'm sorry to hear about your wife splitting up with you, but you need to lawyer up first, tell them your wife cheated, you had a one-off psychotic episode, and that you want full custody of your children and all assets because it was your wife that left the marriage, not you. Therefore she shouldn't get a single cent or asset or even children in divorce court.

She's now your ex-wife, but your children are still yours and can be yours. Turn that shit around and flip her world upside down and not give an iota of thought that you care for her after a year of cheating. Lawyer up bro, and good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

Life really can be cruel to us. It is why I find such comfort in thoughts of not existing. None of us deserve the pain that this life gives us and there is only so much we can take. I hope things improve for you

 

[WFJ74]

Bro that sounds like a rough situation to be in. Very sorry to hear. A lot of us here are in dire situations as well so you're amongst friends. And man I admire you for talking in such detail about your issues... I haven't had the courage to share mine so good on you for getting it out. Just keep talking and everyone will keep listening :)

 

[LansJ70]

Okay I've been through a similar situation to you and so I'm going to say what I think, and it may be tainted with some hurt, and it may come out wrong and sound misogynistic, I hope it doesn't, but if it does then please forgive me and understand the pain I also have been through in this regard.

First of all you sound like me, in my mind when you get married and take those vows it means something - life is for life, better or worse, etc means what it says, you make vows to each other and it means you are now together forever. Doesn't matter if you're male or female, gay or straight or anything in between - you commit to another person, and you do it for good, forever.

Sadly the world today doesn't work like that, people want MORE> usually that means more for themselves and to hell with everyone else.

So, first off, if this dude wants to hook himself up with a cheater, then he's an idiot, because if she will cheat with the father of her children, she'll damned well cheat on him as well.

I've seen this so many times, I know one person who had an affair for 18 months, when he got fed up because she wouldn't leave her (supposedly abusive) husband - she's moved onto an affair with her husbands best friend, then (when husband threw her out) cheated on him, then on the next one, and the next, ad nauseum.

They are thrill seekers.

Secondly, meeting someone with no kids, falling in love, then having kids with them is amazing.

Meeting someone with 3 kids to someone else and getting with them, taking on their kids, knowing they are a cheat, - well, even more fool them. They are now looking after themselves and 4 other people.

Etc, sorry can't write what I want, I'll get banned. You found out she's a cheat, he is an idiot, so leave them to each other, but try get your kids safe and look after them.

 

[Shadowgeist]

I appreciate all the kind and supportive words. This is why I was drawn to this community. LansJ70, thank you so much for the response. It's good to know there are others like you that have been through similar things. I have to try and be strong, but its tough when you love someone so much. Even with what she has done, I still love her. That's why it hurts so much.

 

[alwaysSuffering]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I can't imagine how that would feel. That's a lot to go through all at once. Getting cheated on is horrible. I've been cheated on but I wasn't married and I have no kids so I can't imagine what you're going through. There is a chance that the new relationship between your wife and this guy won't work out (I'd say the odds are probably good that it won't) and then maybe your wife would come crawling back to you. I don't know if that helps because obviously it still hurts to be betrayed like that. I wish you the very best.

 

[LCS8555]

I also only just got approved.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. It sounds so tough. The only thing I can say is, time is a healer.

Think to yourself, are you the only person in this world to go through a divorce? There are millions who go through this, and come out the other side. They have new relationships and find love again. Its very possible.

How old are you ?

 

[Shadowgeist]

I am 43

 

[sardinia]

I love my wife, she is my best and only friend, and I only live for her and my family. I dont want to live without her.

I don't know your pain. Don't you think it is time to find other best friends and friends. Find someone and something else to live for.