New here, some thoughts and feelings.

[cartdog]

[I am copy-pasting this as my aboutme as well. I have lurked a small handful of times over the years. But I am new as a registered user and I figured it might be nice to try out the post format, put some thoughts I've held to myself for a long time into words, and introduce myself to whomever finds this.]]

I am an employee in the death care industry. I work the night shift removing and transporting the bodies of deceased people from homes, hospitals, hotels, nursing homes, cars, etc. on behalf of numerous funeral homes and mortuaries in my state.
I'm looking for support and to maybe find that I'm not alone and other people feel how I feel. I think I might be able to pass on my own knowledge and experiences as well to people who are curious about mortuary science and processes. What happens to the body after death from an objective/at times oddly corporate point of view.

I feel lonely and isolated. My friends and family are grossed out by what I do and are uncomfortable with holding space for me when I feel that I need to talk about something work related (I think it's reasonable and I entirely respect their boundaries.) It would be untruthful to say I'm not also here to research methods for my own eventual ctb. I am chronically ill and would like to be in charge of when and where I pass, whether it's next year or in 20 years.
"A prison becomes a home when you have the key."
-George Sterling

Thank you to all the wonderful people here for cultivating a safe, non-judgmental space for myself and others to explore options, share resources, and be heard.

 

[sserafim]

[I am copy-pasting this as my aboutme as well. I have lurked a small handful of times over the years. But I am new as a registered user and I figured it might be nice to try out the post format, put some thoughts I've held to myself for a long time into words, and introduce myself to whomever finds this.]]

I am an employee in the death care industry. I work the night shift removing and transporting the bodies of deceased people from homes, hospitals, hotels, nursing homes, cars, etc. on behalf of numerous funeral homes and mortuaries in my state.
I'm looking for support and to maybe find that I'm not alone and other people feel how I feel. I think I might be able to pass on my own knowledge and experiences as well to people who are curious about mortuary science and processes. What happens to the body after death from an objective/at times oddly corporate point of view.

I feel lonely and isolated. My friends and family are grossed out by what I do and are uncomfortable with holding space for me when I feel that I need to talk about something work related (I think it's reasonable and I entirely respect their boundaries.) It would be untruthful to say I'm not also here to research methods for my own eventual ctb. I am chronically ill and would like to be in charge of when and where I pass, whether it's next year or in 20 years.

Thank you to all the wonderful people here for cultivating a safe, non-judgmental space for myself and others to explore options, share resources, and be heard.

What are the usual causes of death? Is it able to tell from the bodies?

 

[SolomonKado]

I can understand wanting to talk about your job with someone and they either don't get it or don't want to discuss it. Leaving you to try and figure out your problems alone. It can feel very alienating and at times very lonely. I am sorry you are going through this. I am thankful you enjoy the community here and hope you are able to find what you need here and able to find peace. You deserve it.

 

[cartdog]

What are the usual causes of death? Is it able to tell from the bodies?

The vast majority of cases I service are individuals under hospice who pass from things like starvation, liver failure, cardiac arrest. When someone has died alone and is found, the coroner has to clear it as unsuspicious before someone like me is called for removal, those cases are usually cardiac arrest or someone with mobility issues has fallen and hit their head (blood loss > lesion or laceration > blunt force trauma). There are several in the past few months though where a hospital has listed the sole c.o.d as "COVID-19" which is vague but I think they're referring to something like septic shock > sepsis >pneumonia > viral infection of covid. There is often a more definitive/scientific c.o.d that can be provided via autopsy, but unless there was a crime and a body was picked up by the coroner, an autopsy is most often not performed.

I can understand wanting to talk about your job with someone and they either don't get it or don't want to discuss it. Leaving you to try and figure out your problems alone. It can feel very alienating and at times very lonely. I am sorry you are going through this. I am thankful you enjoy the community here and hope you are able to find what you need here and able to find peace. You deserve it.

This is so very kind, thank you.

 

[Geist]

Honestly, I think your job is pretty cool. After my mother died, and I saw her dead body on display... I thought that might be something even I could do, although I haven't seen the actual process, just the result. I'm a full blown misanthropist, so I really can't stand being around other *living* people. I don't think I'd have that problem with dead bodies.

Although I do find it really weird that this is a thing, and people get buried in coffins and stuff. It's just so unnatural, though I guess there a good reasons for why this is done. If I die, I would just want to be buried in natural ground, without the coffin. I'd want to become a part of nature.

How did you get into this profession? Is this something you wanted to do, or did you just randomly happen to get a job there? What kind of qualifications do you need?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

How long have you been working in the industry? Seems most people who can't become desensitized are weeded out. Does it help to talk to co-workers? It's understandable no one in your personal life wants to entertain talk of your job.

 

[HollowDrop]

I'm sorry to hear people treat your work this way. It's an honest job like many others, people have such a ridiculous attitude towards the dead and death in general. It's a part of life and should be accepted as such.
I hope this forum will give you some space to speak your mind when needed, hearing things from the perspective of someone in your line of work is always quite interesting.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Welcome.

I appreciate that you don't push those boundaries with your loved ones re: discussion your work. But that must be a heavy weight that you can't get off your shoulders. I hope SaSu can be a place where you can vent and talk with others.

 

[cartdog]

Honestly, I think your job is pretty cool. After my mother died, and I saw her dead body on display... I thought that might be something even I could do, although I haven't seen the actual process, just the result. I'm a full blown misanthropist, so I really can't stand being around other *living* people. I don't think I'd have that problem with dead bodies.

How did you get into this profession? Is this something you wanted to do, or did you just randomly happen to get a job there? What kind of qualifications do you need?

I'm sorry to hear that your mother passed, a viewing can be an important part of grieving so I'm glad you and your family had the option.
There are tons of moving parts in death care. I am primarily a "body removal technician", I am not a licensed mortician or funeral director. They asked me for a valid drivers license and there was a month long background check/drug screening process. I have been in this profession now for a few years. (edit: I have taken company provided courses to qualify for additional duties)
I wanted to be an artist as a little kid. It was my dream. I drew every day up until high school. My parents wanted me to be a paramedic and their means and methods of steering me away from art and into medicine were extreme to the point that I have not had contact with them since my senior year. Without this getting too long, I did sorta stumble into this. I love it, it's not a job everyone can do but I take a great deal of pride in it and feel a strong sense of purpose when I clock in. I have agoraphobia and social anxiety, I can't stand to be out of my house and sometimes my room during the day time. But at night, I am driving hours at a time, speaking to strangers who I will never see again to provide them with an essential service. It has worked out perfect for me and I can't see myself functioning in any other field as well as I do this one.

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

Hi, @cartdog. Thanks for sharing your story and your particular expertize. It must be difficult to do your work in a world where death is an off the counter topic.

What kind of support would you wish for in your work?

 

[cartdog]

How long have you been working in the industry? Seems most people who can't become desensitized are weeded out. Does it help to talk to co-workers? It's understandable no one in your personal life wants to entertain talk of your job.

A few years now. And yes, it's not for everyone. We have been understaffed as long as I've been here. It took 6 months for them to fill the one position I took, and we still are not at the number of removal techs that is preferred. We often have people come in for an interview, they are given a tour and see a body (unembalmed or otherwise not prepared for a funeral) for the first time and then drop off the face of the earth. Can't be contacted for any sort of follow-up. It's very important not to push people to see anything they're not ready to see. Other people can stomach it just fine but after they realize the job involves things like carrying someone three times your weight up 3 flights of stairs they quit, which is also fair. No matter what you do for work, your health and safety should be your priority. **The majority of my coworkers are old enough to be my grandparent or parent and so there is a bit of a social barrier in conversation, I trust them as solid removal partners and we're quite chummy, but I don't seek them for emotional support.

Hi, @cartdog. Thanks for sharing your story and your particular expertize. It must be difficult to do your work in a world where death is an off the counter topic.

What kind of support would you wish for in your work?

Living in the U.S, I think that everyone in my role would benefit from better health insurance and some sort of allowance for mental health services (beyond talk therapy). We are the workers that are consistently lifting and pulling and pushing more than twice our body weight, carrying bodies up and down narrow or steep stairs, out of tight spaces, expected to calmly fill out paperwork in at times biohazordous/noxious conditions; strains and minor injuries are common. I think I just wish death wasn't so taboo so that the people who take care of the dead had better access to medical & therapy options.

 

[Geist]

I work the night shift removing and transporting the bodies of deceased people from homes, hospitals, hotels, nursing homes, cars, etc. on behalf of numerous funeral homes and mortuaries in my state.

Does that mean that you only work with "intact" bodies? Now I'm kind of wondering who takes care of bodies that are... not so intact. Gruesome murders, messy suicides and so on. I'm guessing there's a different department for that?

I wanted to be an artist as a little kid. It was my dream. I drew every day up until high school. My parents wanted me to be a paramedic and their means and methods of steering me away from art and into medicine were extreme to the point that I have not had contact with them since my senior year.

No offense to your parents, but I absolutely can not stand when parents push their unachieved dreams on to their children. I'm really thankful I didn't have to go through this, my mom was just the best. I can totally understand why you broke off contact. I haven't had contact with my dad for... 13 years now, tho for other reasons. He was just massive piece of shit.

I'm assuming your parents had good intentions, but just didn't go about it the right way. Do you miss having a relationship with them? I don't want to sound like a uh... can't quite find the word I'm looking for... someone who makes you roll your eyes, basically. Is there any chance of a reconcilation? You only have one pair of parents, and it would suck if things just ended without talking things out, if you know what I mean. Shit can happen very quickly, speaking of experience here.

Edit: ffs, I'm making a lot of typos today.

 

[SolomonKado]

I didn't even think of how removing a body could be so demanding, but I get it now. I'm glad you have such pride in your job. No matter what job a person has if they don't find pride in it then It will just kill then slowly day to day. It sounds like you really have to work hard. 2-3 times your own weight?! Up and down stairs?! Just picturing it looks seriously rough. You got to have some pretty good upper and lower body strength! For some reason I'm picturing a body builder lol

Also I wonder how well your artist skills took you until you stopped. Must be able to do very well for the length of time you did it.

 

[HighFlight]

Hello @cartdog, and welcome to SaSu!

Thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself in your own thread. I think (hope) you will find this community is open and supportive, and as you can see by the questions already, curious. I'm sorry to hear you have a chronic medical condition that will eventually end your life, and would agree that being able to go out on your own terms is powerful and reassuring.

I hope that you find what you are looking for here, whether that be simply a place to share or vent, or to research ideas and opinions. Peace.

 

[cartdog]

Does that mean that you only work with "intact" bodies? Now I'm kind of wondering who takes care of bodies that are... not so intact. Gruesome murders, messy suicides and so on. I'm guessing there's a different department for that?

Mainly "intact" cases, yes. Any death that is or could be linked to a crime, or a suicide that seems suspicious/possibly linked to a crime is taken by the police department coroner and goes to the coroner's office of the county they died in. Once the body is cleared for release (like if an autopsy is complete and samples are taken if the case is still ongoing, they're all done with the body), the next-of-kin's chosen funeral home is contacted and that is when someone like me is dispatched to pick up the body from the coroner's office.

It would be disrespectful of me to the dead and their families for me to provide specific, detailed examples that could possibly identify them, but we do regularly perform removals that are less intact or in various stages of decomposition. (people found/smelled by neighbors, a well-fare check is called into 911, but the death is cleared by the coroner on-site as nonsuspicious)

**edit, I know this is quite long but regarding "gruesome murders", "different department": I thought it would be good to note that crime scene and decomposition meltdown post-death cleaning services is it's own entire industry.

No offense to your parents, but I absolutely can not stand when parents push their unachieved dreams on to their children. I'm really thankful I didn't have to go through this, my mom was just the best. I can totally understand why you broke off contact. I haven't had contact with my dad for... 13 years now, tho for other reasons. He was just massive piece of shit.

ugh yeah you get it....sorry to hear that

I'm assuming your parents had good intentions, but just didn't go about it the right way. Do you miss having a relationship with them? I don't want to sound like a uh... can't quite find the word I'm looking for... someone who makes you roll your eyes, basically. Is there any chance of a reconcilation? You only have one pair of parents, and it would suck if things just ended without talking things out, if you know what I mean.

kinda ironic I guess because I was adopted so there goes 2 pairs I think. I understand the question, I get it a lot. I do not plan on contacting my parents and to my knowledge they have not expressed any intentions of reconnecting with me or attempted to contact me.

I didn't even think of how removing a body could be so demanding, but I get it now. I'm glad you have such pride in your job. No matter what job a person has if they don't find pride in it then It will just kill then slowly day to day. It sounds like you really have to work hard. 2-3 times your own weight?! Up and down stairs?! Just picturing it looks seriously rough. You got to have some pretty good upper and lower body strength! For some reason I'm picturing a body builder lol

Also I wonder how well your artist skills took you until you stopped. Must be able to do very well for the length of time you did it.

Depending on the decedent's weight we will send 1-4 people. 1 person for things like hospitals/facilities. Never less than 2 for residences (stairs would be impossible). However past the 250-300 pounds range, we begin to consider 2-3+ people. It's not uncommon for different mortuaries and companies to call each other asking for assistance since we only staff 2-4 removal techs per shift. People come in all shapes and sizes and their families deserve a safe, efficient and dignified removal process.
(/hj, /lh) I have become jacked.

Hello @cartdog, and welcome to SaSu!

Thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself in your own thread. I think (hope) you will find this community is open and supportive, and as you can see by the questions already, curious. I'm sorry to hear you have a chronic medical condition that will eventually end your life, and would agree that being able to go out on your own terms is powerful and reassuring.

I hope that you find what you are looking for here, whether that be simply a place to share or vent, or to research ideas and opinions. Peace.

I am actually a bit surprised by the amount of interest people are showing in my work experience. Thank you very much for the kind words.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

living alone and having pushed away basically everyone i know, i imagine my corpse wouldn't be found until the stench got too bad. i had to help dig up my grandfather's brother so that he could be moved to a proper burial site. even after having been buried for decades? there was a smell of death. he was only wrapped in a plastic sheet. i can handle many things but not the smell of rotting flesh. there was a dead snake in my mother's garden. i could not get within 15 feet because it smelled so bad. iwas present when a deer was gutted. not even rotting but that was awful as well.

i do not envy your job. sorry you haven't had an outlet for your feelings. i probably won't be of much use as far as advice but will gladly read your posts when i see them.

 

[fwompie]

[I am copy-pasting this as my aboutme as well. I have lurked a small handful of times over the years. But I am new as a registered user and I figured it might be nice to try out the post format, put some thoughts I've held to myself for a long time into words, and introduce myself to whomever finds this.]]

I am an employee in the death care industry. I work the night shift removing and transporting the bodies of deceased people from homes, hospitals, hotels, nursing homes, cars, etc. on behalf of numerous funeral homes and mortuaries in my state.
I'm looking for support and to maybe find that I'm not alone and other people feel how I feel. I think I might be able to pass on my own knowledge and experiences as well to people who are curious about mortuary science and processes. What happens to the body after death from an objective/at times oddly corporate point of view.

I feel lonely and isolated. My friends and family are grossed out by what I do and are uncomfortable with holding space for me when I feel that I need to talk about something work related (I think it's reasonable and I entirely respect their boundaries.) It would be untruthful to say I'm not also here to research methods for my own eventual ctb. I am chronically ill and would like to be in charge of when and where I pass, whether it's next year or in 20 years.
"A prison becomes a home when you have the key."
-George Sterling

Thank you to all the wonderful people here for cultivating a safe, non-judgmental space for myself and others to explore options, share resources, and be heard.

Such an important job you have, thank you for doing it. I also had a job where people didn't understand how I could do it but was more socially acceptable. I get the need to want to talk about it but then not being able to because people outside of your family think it's gross.

I'm very curious to see what kind of information you'd be able to share with us, looking forward to seeing you around. Even though it's also sad that you have to be here. Having an option to leave makes living easier for me, hope that works for you as well