New to this site thought id share my story.
Ive always suffered from some anxiety and depression growing up. Never did I really have any close friends. My life completely change while i was in the military at the age of 19. I met the women who i would eventually marry. All my depression and anxiety pretty much disappeared when we met. Well I served my time in the military. Saw some pretty terrible things overseas and came home with PTSD. The depression returned but it was always minimal. Then I got out of the military and currently have been working as first responder for 15+ years in a major city in the US that has a huge crime problem on the east coast. So I literally see the worst things people do to one another. But even through all this the PTSD and depression has always been manageable and I always had my rock, my wife who I loved more than anything and who loved and supported me. We had a son together 4 years ago and honestly life had been pretty good the past 15 years. I still had some depression and ptsd but it never really had much impact on my life. Thats untill a year ago out of nowhere my wife said she wanted a divorce and I found out about her affair she had been having for a few months. My marriage like others were never perfect but I was completely blind sided by this. Its like my wifes personality changed into somone else over night and wasnt the person I knew for the past 18+ years. So for the past year I have been extremely depressed. Constant thoughts of hoplessness and suicide. Ive been in therapy for a year, meds, was in a mental health hospital for 2 weeks. Nothing has helped. When Im not at work or i dont have may kid all I can do is lay in bed and try sleep. My ex has since found a new bf and is planning on getting married to him. Seeing her move on so fast like what we had together meant nothing has just made it worse. I have zero friends and no family to talk to. Loosing my marriage I lost everything and it has destroyed me. The only reason im still here is because of my son but sadly I cant hold out much longer. Ive put a box of stuff together to give to my ex to give my son when he gets alittle older. All I have left is my letter to finish. Theres six dates that are significant in my life from now untill the end of the year. One of those days will be when I ctb. All I wanted was to spend my life being married to the women I loved and raise our son together but that was taken from me
Ive always suffered from some anxiety and depression growing up. Never did I really have any close friends. My life completely change while i was in the military at the age of 19. I met the women who i would eventually marry. All my depression and anxiety pretty much disappeared when we met. Well I served my time in the military. Saw some pretty terrible things overseas and came home with PTSD. The depression returned but it was always minimal. Then I got out of the military and currently have been working as first responder for 15+ years in a major city in the US that has a huge crime problem on the east coast. So I literally see the worst things people do to one another. But even through all this the PTSD and depression has always been manageable and I always had my rock, my wife who I loved more than anything and who loved and supported me. We had a son together 4 years ago and honestly life had been pretty good the past 15 years. I still had some depression and ptsd but it never really had much impact on my life. Thats untill a year ago out of nowhere my wife said she wanted a divorce and I found out about her affair she had been having for a few months. My marriage like others were never perfect but I was completely blind sided by this. Its like my wifes personality changed into somone else over night and wasnt the person I knew for the past 18+ years. So for the past year I have been extremely depressed. Constant thoughts of hoplessness and suicide. Ive been in therapy for a year, meds, was in a mental health hospital for 2 weeks. Nothing has helped. When Im not at work or i dont have may kid all I can do is lay in bed and try sleep. My ex has since found a new bf and is planning on getting married to him. Seeing her move on so fast like what we had together meant nothing has just made it worse. I have zero friends and no family to talk to. Loosing my marriage I lost everything and it has destroyed me. The only reason im still here is because of my son but sadly I cant hold out much longer. Ive put a box of stuff together to give to my ex to give my son when he gets alittle older. All I have left is my letter to finish. Theres six dates that are significant in my life from now untill the end of the year. One of those days will be when I ctb. All I wanted was to spend my life being married to the women I loved and raise our son together but that was taken from me
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