Discussion Never goes away

[MsMaudlin]

Life isn't too bad at the moment in the grand scheme of things.

Yes the physical pain is always there, the stress of life is as bad as per usual.

So why am I spending every minute wanting to kill myself, I do want to do it, I'm not going to get any better, I want to die. I don't understand.

❤

 

[Meditation guide]

So why am I spending every minute wanting to kill myself, I do want to do it, I'm not going to get any better, I want to die. I don't understand.

Only you know the answer to that question. All we can do is guess.

 

[Deathbydemo]

That's a hard question to answer, even to yourself.

my thinking today is... get up, get a shower and maybe meet a friend... but I knew if I had my SN here I'd rather do that than live my life... such a difficult mindset to understand, regardless of it being yours. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. :(

 

[woxihuanni]

Hope? SI? Or that it sucks to go through dying.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I'm using SN when I do CTB, some of the failures on here have scared me a bit.

I will have one chance, I cannot fail.

 

[mr.smileysad]

I have the same thing life has been going great but each morning I wake up and ask myself if I want to ctb

 

[MsMaudlin]

I have the same thing life has been going great but each morning I wake up and ask myself if I want to ctb

It doesn't make sense does it?

Do you have a method / plan arranged? Mine is meticulously planned.

❤

 

[catalepsy]

I think if you ruminate on a thing for too long as a means to cope with the turmoil of daily life, once life becomes more tolerable, that habit remains a fixture of your mental routine. So things might seem better, but that old familiar mental pathway is still well worn and easy to walk along.

 

[Ghost2211]

It's the same for me. Suicidality can go dormant when happy, but never goes away.