Venting Never Found It

[Joey]

Moving on from this final phase of life and it's sad that I've never found on what I wanted. I'm really happy for being brought into this world and seeing the things that I've wanted to see. I just wish this whole pandemic didn't happen because it would mean that I could find a way better job than where I am right now.

I never really did find my place and I was too much of a coward. Always living up to people's expectations and having them hold my hand and not even my own. This life is only going to continue to grow much harder as you get older and seeing the future the way it is, it's pretty dark and bleak. I don't want to slave away for stupid currency anymore and I know it's the way it is but life is too short.

Seeing people growing really old just terrifies the shit out of me and I don't want that to ever happen. I wish assisted suicide was legal on where I live and it can be for any reason for people who don't want to participate in this life anymore. Germany is now doing it and the only stupid reason America can't do it unless you have a terminal illness.

Maybe I really don't want to die but just don't want to face reality. I'm too afraid of the unknown and knowing myself, I hate people. Not a lot but working in retail, yeah I see them all.

I'm debating if I should just wait for a few more years till I'm 30 and see how things are from then and if it doesn't work out, I can leave. Or is it okay to leave now by the end of this year?

Please help...

 

[DyingAlf]

Or is it okay to leave now by the end of this year?

We can't answer that for you.

Only you can know how much of this life you can tolerate. Only you know when your tolerance has reached it absolute limit & that your ONLY remaining option is to ctb.

I wish you all the best while you are figuring it all out & hope that you find the solution that is best for you, whatever that may be

 

[Joey]

We can't answer that for you.

Only you can know how much of this life you can tolerate. Only you know when your tolerance has reached it absolute limit & that your ONLY remaining option is to ctb.

I wish you all the best while you are figuring it all out & hope that you find the solution that is best for you, whatever that may be

Thank you :)

 

[Deleted member 10475]

I agree that it's totally up to you on how you should do things, and there's no wrong answer.

Personally, I'm fighting to move forward and seeing how things go. Suicide is always there lol it's a little comforting to know that if things do get worse, I can always go that route.

 

[Joey]

I agree that it's totally up to you on how you should do things, and there's no wrong answer.

Personally, I'm fighting to move forward and seeing how things go. Suicide is always there lol it's a little comforting to know that if things do get worse, I can always go that route.

I'll most likely do the same :)

 

[Ghost2211]

There's no need to rush this like this. If you wait you can always die, but if you rush and die you can't undo it.

 

[Joey]

There's no need to rush this like this. If you wait you can always die, but if you rush and die you can't undo it.

ADHD is ruining my life and I'm just too much of a coward to ask for help. I always keep thinking I can handle all of this shit on my own. I guess I am just a snowflake.. lol

 

[Ghost2211]

ADHD is ruining my life and I'm just too much of a coward to ask for help. I always keep thinking I can handle all of this shit on my own. I guess I am just a snowflake.. lol

Have you tried meds for ADHD? My son is ADHD and takes meds for school hours. We don't give them for after school or weekend since being hyper not able to focus really only is a problem for school. He likes and wants the med for school hours.

 

[Joey]

Have you tried meds for ADHD? My son is ADHD and takes meds for school hours. We don't give them for after school or weekend since being hyper not able to focus really only is a problem for school. He likes and wants the med for school hours.

Sadly no

 

[Ghost2211]

Sadly no ☹

It might be worth talking to your doctor about trying it. Some people hate it some people like it.

 

[Gnip]

Have you tried meds for ADHD? My son is ADHD and takes meds for school hours. We don't give them for after school or weekend since being hyper not able to focus really only is a problem for school. He likes and wants the med for school hours.

NLP developer Richard Bandler stated that there are no learning disabilities, only teaching disabilities. Long term, pills are not skills, and getting placed on speed at age seven did me no favors.

With adults, amphetamines like Adderall are notorious for causing heart arrhythmias, aortic dissections and other issues. (I alternated on dosages of 150 mg Ritalin, 150 mg Dexedrine and 150 mg Adderall BTW until all stopped working and I'd developed a permanent tolerance. Strattera was a dead end for me, but my unique medication history led my now girlfriend to introduce herself when she was interning at my pharmacy for her doctorate, and she's never allowed me to pay for dinner since I agreed to help her ace her dissertation.)


I tell adults who have kids diagnosed with AD/HD who were never formally diagnosed themselves to try Benadryl, ZzzQuil or some other OTC containing the antihistamine dihydrochloride. If dihydrochloride makes them sleepy, then I rule AD/HD out, but if it revs them up, then they probably have AD/HD, as brains like mine do process dihydrochloride, amphetamines and certain other drugs inversely. (My psychiatrist, a retired Professor Emeritus, originally learned that from me, also the axiom, "We Are All An Experiment of One." He and I have a strong mutual respect.)

Being on meds for what was called "Hyperkinetic Reaction of Childhood" in DSM-II (a tiny spiral bound 134 page volume compared to the ridiculous 947 pages of DSM-V today) did me no favors and did not result in my being taught any coping skills. In a 1976 United States Senate hearing with pediatrician Benjamin Feingold, Ted Kennedy correctly noted that the biggest drug pushers in the nation's public school system were the teachers. (EMK's full statement can be found in "ADD: A Different Perception," by Thom Hartmann, easily the most competent published authority on AD/HD I have ever met, somebody who could hold an auditorium of 350 AD/HD adults silent and spellbound for two and a half hours.)