Venting Never ending loop

[Slimetae]

Same day over and over and over there's with minor differences of negativity. I wish there was a person in my life when I was younger to stop me from making poor life altering decisions . If I knew would I knew now maybe I wouldn't have been such an evil child now I'm just the black sheep disowned by my dads side of the family and most of my moms and I guess only real family I have is my mom and my aunt that see me for me but even they bring my past up when it suits there agenda . I can't wait to check out of this life but sometimes I think I'm already dead and this is just my own personal little hell loop if I could take it back I would but it is what it is I just can't wait till it's over for good I can't ctb now bc I don't have any reasonable/ peaceful ways to go maybe that will change or I'll be driven to the edge enough to where I can go through with something painful.so I'm just hoping the stress takes me out or some crazy life thing . just ranting

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like I have already died in a way, I live such an empty existence, I am only still alive as ctb is so difficult. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I know what it is like when every day is the same. More than anything I wish that ctb was easier, we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. I wish you the best in whatever happens.