Venting never been closer to ctb

[olvidame]

i have never felt more on the verge in my life. i had a burst of positive-can-do energy last night, where, despite my ongoing fear of heart issues, i SPRUNG out of bed to cook a healthy meal, do the dishes, take out the trash and walk my dog. all of those normal things ive been struggling to do because of my shitty fucking anxiety. i proceeded to relax and have a long good nights rest. woke up with my pulse slow. feeling good and healthy. i get up to walk my dog, eat, then boom. heart is racing. i try so hard to ignore it. my brain problems wont allow it. im losing my FUCKING MIND!!!! I NEED TO BE FREE FROM THIS SHIT, NOW!

i have never felt more on the verge in my life. i had a burst of positive-can-do energy last night, where, despite my ongoing fear of heart issues, i SPRUNG out of bed to cook a healthy meal, do the dishes, take out the trash and walk my dog. all of those normal things ive been struggling to do because of my shitty fucking anxiety. i proceeded to relax and have a long good nights rest. woke up with my pulse slow. feeling good and healthy. i get up to walk my dog, eat, then boom. heart is racing. i try so hard to ignore it. my brain problems wont allow it. im losing my FUCKING MIND!!!! I NEED TO BE FREE FROM THIS SHIT, NOW!

i wish someone would kick my door down and blow my fucking head off im so done with this suffering i never cared about this life anyway why dont i just end it already

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand just wanting to be free from suffering, to be free from it all is all I personally hope for but anyway I wish you the best.