Venting Neet, No Friends, No Money

[TheGoodGuy]

I also have apathy and anhedonia so I don´t feel anything which makes money even more important to be able to cope with such a horrible existence, every day "life" is so incredibly boring every day is the same nothing ever changed there are no new exciting experiences in life anymore like there was in my teen years no the last 5 years has been me basically sitting in my room whether home with my parents and brothers, or when me and my brother lived together for a couple years or now where I have lived alone for over a year but never the less those 5 years of boring mundane adult existence has been the worst time in my life.

Every day is the same over and over again in childhood and teenage years there were so many new experiences all the time now there are nothing and I have no friends to do anything with because over the years I have excluded myself because of a throat problem and since because of apathy I find no joy in many things others do.

I also have absolutely 0$ to myself there even was a 85% sale on a South Park game a few weeks ago, I wanted to give it a try just to try and see if I could get a little interested in gaming again but even at 12$ that was too much for me since every cent I use will have to come out of my food budget which is already low at 210-230$ per month I am on welfare that is why I don´t get shit but I hope that I might get disablity soon because of my aspergers otherwise I can´t see how I am supposed to cope much longer, again I literally have no money when other people say that they usually have a little I have NOTHING I even have to get some money from my parents to make it through the money I am living paycheck to paycheck where I am eager for it to be the end of the month again so I can get money only to have the recycle instantly repeat itself.

I don´t want to ctb because it will ruin my parents life even though staying alive for someone else isn´t viable but at least with money I could cope a bit longer but without money for anything I will be forced to ctb I mean money isn´t happiness but as an adult it´s damn close ANYTHING that is fun cost money as an adult I can´t even run new games without a new computer, I can´t go anywhere because I don´t have a car literally any cope costs money!!

 

[V0latile]

Im in a similar boat rushing down the River Styx with you buddy.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Im in a similar boat rushing down the River Styx with you buddy.

How long has it been for you because I really don´t know how long I can take it, I used to be very extrovert and in live in a home with a lot of loving people and had friends over all the time and now I live alone I have no friends and not even money to do anything.

Also how about money how much do you have to spend on yourself? Because even a year ago when I still had my car and money I could actually cope, life was still horrible but having a car to drive where I want when I want and buy stuff I want is a good distraction now I just sit in front of a screen all day and the most exciting thing for me is when I go for a night walk to record a vlog because then I can get a lot of things off my chest.

 

[V0latile]

How long has it been for you because I really don´t know how long I can take it, I used to be very extrovert and in live in a home with a lot of loving people and had friends over all the time and now I live alone I have no friends and not even money to do anything.

Also how about money how much do you have to spend on yourself? Because even a year ago when I still had my car and money I could actually cope, life was still horrible but having a car to drive where I want when I want and buy stuff I want is a good distraction now I just sit in front of a screen all day and the most exciting thing for me is when I go for a night walk to record a vlog because then I can get a lot of things off my chest.

A decade.

I don't have a car anymore. I sit in bed all day staring at my phone. I'm on disability. It's hell and is very off putting to new people I try and befriend, so I stay alone.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

A decade.

I don't have a car anymore. I sit in bed all day staring at my phone. I'm on disability. It's hell and is very off putting to new people I try and befriend, so I stay alone.

Holy fuck how do you cope? What do you do all day be specific because I could write down my day and you could copy paste it and that is my current life existence.

 

[V0latile]

Holy fuck how do you cope? What do you do all day be specific because I could write down my day and you could copy paste it and that is my current life existence.

I wake up feeling physically ill. I go to the bathroom. I eat. I cough up a lot of mucus because I have acid reflux. This coughing fit can go on for awhile. No meds help. Then I lay in bed jumping from website to website for hours. While online, I watch movies, tv, go to Yahoo News and read the comments, go on Reddit, go on YouTube, read books. Then I eat again, go back on my phone and eventually fall asleep. Repeat.

And I feel very little pleasure while on my phone.

It sounds awful and it is, but I'm pretty much used to it at this point. My mind is numb. I've learned to accept my prison-like existence and I know it will one day end.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I wake up feeling physically ill. I go to the bathroom. I eat. I cough up a lot of mucus because I have acid reflux. This coughing fit can go on for awhile. No meds help. Then I lay in bed jumping from website to website for hours. While online, I watch movies, tv, go to Yahoo News and read the comments, go on Reddit, go on YouTube, read books. Then I eat again, go back on my phone and eventually fall asleep. Repeat.

And I feel no pleasure while on my phone.

How do you feel? Like do you feel a lot of sadness from depression or just apathy? I just don´t understand how you can live the same day over and over year by year it´s like Groundhogs Day where you wake up and it´s the same day over and over.

 

[V0latile]

How do you feel? Like do you feel a lot of sadness from depression or just apathy? I just don´t understand how you can live the same day over and over year by year it´s like Groundhogs Day where you wake up and it´s the same day over and over.

I feel numb most of the time. It's mixed in with sadness. It doesn't feel like Groundhog's Day. The news stories are always different and yet somehow the same. Movies and tv fall into that category too. Books don't though. Every book is new. It's hard for me to read these days though. I have trouble comprehending now and I tend to reread sentences over and over because I feel like I'm not grasping it. I used to meditate and that helped, but the chronic coughing interferes a lot.

I would ctb, but I feel too depressed to do it. Also my parents are still alive. They're good people.

 

[Sweet emotion]

You're right. Money isn't everything but it's damn important and everyone needs it. People who say it's not important are liars. If you get sick you need money for medication. You need money for health insurance and car insurance. You need it for rent or your mortgage. You need it for your phone bill, clothing, food, living the kind of lifestyle you want to live. So many things go wrong in life and you need money to fix them.

I also understand how you feel every day I like ground hogs say. I've been living the same life for over 14 years now since I got sick. I have the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. A lot of people find that hard to believe but it's called complex regional pain syndrome and on the McGill pain scale it's higher than anything. Every day is the same. I'm just rotting away in my apartment. I sleep, get up, go to the bathroom, and eat and repeat. This condition has taken everything abpway from me and I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Nothing will change only for the worse. I keep asking myself why can't I just get the balls to do it. To just let myself be free from this misery because I sure as hell don't like living in pain and isostion.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

You're right. Money isn't everything but it's damn important and everyone needs it. People who say it's not important are liars. If you get sick you need money for medication. You need money for health insurance and car insurance. You need it for rent or your mortgage. You need it for your phone bill, clothing, food, living the kind of lifestyle you want to live. So many things go wrong in life and you need money to fix them.

I also understand how you feel every day I like ground hogs say. I've been living the same life for over 14 years now since I got sick. I have the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. A lot of people find that hard to believe but it's called complex regional pain syndrome and on the McGill pain scale it's higher than anything. Every day is the same. I'm just rotting away in my apartment. I sleep, get up, go to the bathroom, and eat and repeat. This condition has taken everything abpway from me and I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Nothing will change only for the worse. I keep asking myself why can't I just get the balls to do it. To just let myself be free from this misery because I sure as hell don't like living in pain and isostion.

I don´t understand how you can exist for so many years without even living and with your condition I bet your parents would understand if you wanted to kill yourself and probably support it more since it´s a physical problem and not a mental one, because it seems a lot of people in society think people with a terminal illness or in great physical pain should be allowed to get euthanasia where as they ignorantly believe that a mental problem can be cured by positive thinking.

 

[Élégie]

I'm in a similar situation... I'm unemployed, I left school years ago, I don't drive and I'm very lonely (no partner, no friends).

My life is empty and boring af. Most days look the same; wake up, drink coffee, go on computer (for music/podcasts/videos/forums/e-books), go for a walk or a quick grocery trip in the afternoon if I have enough energy, come back home, shower, prepare dinner, go on computer, fall asleep... rinse and repeat.

Thankfully, my dad helps me with basic living expenses (rent, groceries, wifi), but he's not rich either, he's middle class. So I'm usually very frugal and rarely treat myself.

I also miss my younger self. I used to be a lot more excited about life and new experiences. Now I'm just sad, numb and pretty much dead inside.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I don´t understand how you can exist for so many years without even living and with your condition I bet your parents would understand if you wanted to kill yourself and probably support it more since it´s a physical problem and not a mental one, because it seems a lot of people in society think people with a terminal illness or in great physical pain should be allowed to get euthanasia where as they ignorantly believe that a mental problem can be cured by positive thinking.

Idk how I've existed this long either. The first seven years was looking for the proper diagnosis since no one has ever heard about it. Then I needed jaw surgery which took about two years to recoop from since I needed two on the right side and I'm still screwed. Then it was trying the one procedure that could possibly help but it didn't. I think anyone would be able to understand why I want to die....anyone with a brain at least. I agree about the euthanasia.

 

[lymbo]

How long has it been for you because I really don´t know how long I can take it, I used to be very extrovert and in live in a home with a lot of loving people and had friends over all the time and now I live alone I have no friends and not even money to do anything.

Also how about money how much do you have to spend on yourself? Because even a year ago when I still had my car and money I could actually cope, life was still horrible but having a car to drive where I want when I want and buy stuff I want is a good distraction now I just sit in front of a screen all day and the most exciting thing for me is when I go for a night walk to record a vlog because then I can get a lot of things off my chest.

do u upload your vlogs ?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Idk how I've existed this long either. The first seven years was looking for the proper diagnosis since no one has ever heard about it. Then I needed jaw surgery which took about two years to recoop from since I needed two on the right side and I'm still screwed. Then it was trying the one procedure that could possibly help but it didn't. I think anyone would be able to understand why I want to die....anyone with a brain at least. I agree about the euthanasia.

Unfortunately when the talk of euthanasia comes up people only "think" with their emotions not by facts.

do u upload your vlogs ?

No, I don´t I just vlog to be able to talk about stuff I can´t tell anyone because I have no one to talk to so it feels good to get it off my chest and by recording it it feels more normal like I wouldn´t be able to just talk to myself it would feel weird and I don´t show my face either since I am uncomfortable in front of a camera and I almost always record at night on a dark football field so it´s just audio anyways and it´s in Danish so no one would understand anyways.

So atm this is my best cope for venting my feelings because it´s basically just for myself even though I save the vlogs.

 

[lymbo]

Unfortunately when the talk of euthanasia comes up people only "think" with their emotions not by facts.

No, I don´t I just vlog to be able to talk about stuff I can´t tell anyone because I have no one to talk to so it feels good to get it off my chest and by recording it it feels more normal like I wouldn´t be able to just talk to myself it would feel weird and I don´t show my face either since I am uncomfortable in front of a camera and I almost always record at night on a dark football field so it´s just audio anyways and it´s in Danish so no one would understand anyways.

So atm this is my best cope for venting my feelings because it´s basically just for myself even though I save the vlogs.

what u talk about most often?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

what u talk about most often?

Probably my youth i.e. childhood and teenage years and how boring, triviel and horrible my life is now compared to the life of my youth.

 

[TAW122]

Sorry to hear your situation and yes, I was NEET for a while in the past. It sucked when I didn't have the money to do the activities and hobbies that made life bearable (lived under my parents' roof for a bit). While currently, I have a small job, it is just enough to eat and maybe etch out a small modicum of joy, I can relate somewhat to your situation. I don't really have much friends IRL either and mostly spend time by myself. Pretty soon, when my living arrangement and temporary job ends, I'll be exactly in your shoes again, so in a sense, we're in the same boat. I'm from the US btw and it's hard (if not almost impossible) for a young adult to get on welfare or disability. I too have Aspergers and other conditions that make living life hell.