Help need tips on confronting asian parents

[ilovemybed]

hello everyone. im new here and this is my first thread post. let me just get straight to the point.

ok im failing. or i have failed. very bad. i have been expelled from my uni. and i dont have the guts to tell to anyone bcs yes i am that frightened of seeing myself sucks this way. its been four months since i knew i was being expelled. i checked on it online. but no letter came to my po box. there is supposed to be one bcs its in the uni rules. anyway-

yeah no one knew about it. except i think maybe a handful lecturers and my classmates that associated with department administration(yknow the students body president and stuff).

and my mom, in october, she confronted me about my latest exam results and ofc i ran to my room like hell. she shouted at me. i was so scared so i locked myself in my room. we have not spoken to each other since then. i have been avoiding her. but my baby brother knew about our fight. he had been delivering her messages to me.

i dont know how to tell her about this. im afraid i would send her to cardiac arrest and she would die when she heard this news. the thing is, the uni i was attending is kinda big deal for her. its like prestigious for her. and she has been advertising my nonexistent graduation to her peers and extended family. just the right asian parents template.

and also all my funds for study are from my parents pockets. so i feel heavily indebted to them and i knew i could never repay them now that i have been expelled.

dont get me wrong. i love studying. its just that during covid, i cannot cope by myself and it got worse and i was getting behind. and it keeps pulling me down. to the point i cannot hand in my thesis because i didnt have any confidence finishing it.

so anybody that had the same experience as mine, failed uni, expelled from uni, asian parents, please. i want to know whats the best way to tell my parents about this.

thank you so much for your time reading this.

 

[Exact Change]

My Asian background might help. I would suggest that you approach her with a plan.

I had a friend who was about to be expelled from his university. He went in front of the board and gave them a written step-by-step plan on how he was going to improve his grades. He gave each board member a binder that was sectioned off, complete with outline, schedules, points needed for each class, important assignments, and timelines for completion. He stayed in school and is now making 6 figures as an NCAA football coach.

I know you have already been removed from school. But if you can provide a plan you intend to take, the sting will be less. It will show her that you are not giving up and that you are still motivated to succeed. The worst thing for a parent is not knowing what their kids are going to do. Find another school, speak with an advisor, identify the credits that will transfer etc.

Hope that helps

 

[ilovemybed]

My Asian background might help. I would suggest that you approach her with a plan.

I had a friend who was about to be expelled from his university. He went in front of the board and gave them a written step-by-step plan on how he was going to improve his grades. He gave each board member a binder that was sectioned off, complete with outline, schedules, points needed for each class, important assignments, and timelines for completion. He stayed in school and is now making 6 figures as an NCAA football coach.

I know you have already been removed from school. But if you can provide a plan you intend to take, the sting will be less. It will show her that you are not giving up and that you are still motivated to succeed. The worst thing for a parent is not knowing what their kids are going to do. Find another school, speak with an advisor, identify the credits that will transfer etc.

Hope that helps

thank you so much for your reply. i'll keep that in mind. thank you again

 

[OhWellDerp321]

A little late on this.... But being Asian, I can say if you keep being scared to confront them, all you will do is enable the way they behave. (Most) Asian parents don't truly care if their kid succeeds or not. They just see their kid's success / failures as a measure of their own success / failures.