Help Need Therapy, Not Sure Where to Look

[zzzameron]

Hello all, it's been a while since I posted on this site. For a long time I've been in denial about needing help of any kind, but tonight my partner and I got into an argument where it became clear that something has to change or I am going to lose them. I need professional help, but I am not sure where to go.

I did have a therapist in high school, but I don't want to go back to her as a lot has changed in my personal life since then, and I also don't feel she helped me very much. I would call/text a crisis line, but I'm not exactly in crisis right now, and I feel it will take a long period of time to properly address my issues so that I can be better. As much as I wish I could just get all of my problems checked off a list in one session and I'm suddenly better, I don't feel that's realistic.

Another problem is that I have trouble opening up verbally about my feelings. This is another issue I had with my partner, we are in a long-distance relationship and I tend to vent over text, which they have rightfully put up a boundary against recently, telling me to call them when I want to vent. This is intimidating to me because I tend to shut down and go silent or respond with short monotonous words when asked about my feelings verbally, no matter who is asking. I had this problem with my therapist in high school as well, which is another reason I feel a new therapist might be best.

Considering it's likely going to be online counseling due to everything going on, it seems I have unlimited options, but I have no idea where to look and frankly I'm terrified to talk to a therapist. If anyone can provide resources or point me in the right direction, it would be much appreciated.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

It's good you're taking the steps to try and get some professional help. I'm sorry I don't know that much about online therapy but if you google it, you should be able to find some. Just make sure you check the reviews and make sure that they're actually licensed therapists. I see betterhelp adverts all the time. I think you have the option of chatting over messages or video/phone calls. If you don't like talking over the phone, perhaps you can go for the text/chat option?

 

[SleeplessSoul]

Are you in the US? I can ask a few friends about how they find therapists. When it comes to being unsure about opening up verbally, for me that was something that took time and being honest with my psychologist about that helped us to work on that. A good therapist will never rush you to open up before you're ready.

 

[zzzameron]

It's good you're taking the steps to try and get some professional help. I'm sorry I don't know that much about online therapy but if you google it, you should be able to find some. Just make sure you check the reviews and make sure that they're actually licensed therapists. I see betterhelp adverts all the time. I think you have the option of chatting over messages or video/phone calls. If you don't like talking over the phone, perhaps you can go for the text/chat option?

Even if I am able to find a therapist who does sessions over text, I'm not sure if that would be the most reliable or productive option, considering one of the biggest issues my partner would like me to address is my inability to voice my feelings. However if it takes me a long time to find a therapist I will definitely look into that sort of thing for the meantime. I think for the time being I will look into therapists that do phone appointments.

Are you in the US? I can ask a few friends about how they find therapists. When it comes to being unsure about opening up verbally, for me that was something that took time and being honest with my psychologist about that helped us to work on that. A good therapist will never rush you to open up before you're ready.

Yes, I am in the US. My partner sent me a few resources today including contact information for a counselor their social worker recommended. But if you are able to provide additional resources I would very much appreciate it!

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Since I'm so reclusive, I usually search online through Google to find somebody either for therapy or for psychiatry.

Asking friends or family through word-of-mouth would be a preferable approach in my opinion. I utilized a psychiatrist for about a year through telephone consultations. For me it worked fine because I personally don't need to see the person in order to be engaged.

It seems Covid could possibly change some of the model for Healthcare. Skype and Telehealth likely will be much more common in the future with respect to healthcare treatment.

Thus, for myself the quality of care between a psychiatrist in person versus a psychiatrist over the telephone was negligible. I believe it would have felt the same had it been a therapist over the phone.

 

[Shades of Grey]

I typically use the Psychology Today listings to narrow things down a bit. I like them because you can easily find out what participants' philosophy/approach is, and what issues they're interested in working with. I live in a large city (where there are lots of providers) and can quickly weed out those that clearly aren't going to be a good fit, leaving me with a much more manageable list of options.

 

[Argo]

I also want to chip in and say the Psychology today listings were very easy to use and I found a quality therapist on my first try. Very unlikely that therapy will stop me from going, but it doesn't hurt to chat once a week with someone you know? Obviously never tell a therapist you plan to go, because then you risk losing your freedom.