Help Need help deciding between methods please

[GoodPersonEffed]

I try to give thoughtful and honest input for others' dilemmas, hoping to receive the same for my dilemma here. Pretty please!

1. CO

I have a chimney starter and lots of cheap mesquite charcoal. I have a single person mosquito net tent that I can cover with blankets, bring in the cooled-off, ashy briquettes, and hopefully have a quick and peaceful death. Emphasis on the hopefully.

2. Complex SN + propanolol/calcium channel blocker OD

I smoke and have had upper respiratory issues for awhile. I accidentally got a little SN in my system when I tested with blood, I learned I will definitely have breathing issues with this method, which could mean 10 or more minutes of suffering. The propanolol and calcium channel blockers will also depress breathing, but I could potentially lose consciousness far more rapidly, especially considering I will be adding 120 mg of diazepam. I could see quitting smoking and taking meds to clear up the respiratory issues, but there is still suffering with this method, such as stomach discomfort and rapid heartbeat. I seriously dislike suffering, and will experience anxiety. But I am confident that with this method I will die. (Please no debating the complex method, I've already done my research and decided on this regimen, either as a primary method or backup if the CO fails.)

 

[enjolras]

I know too little about CO to give a verdict. Downsides look like more preparation / involvement, not necessarily the practicability of home, maybe as much confyness if you arrange the tent, a plus if you have some connection with nature fantasy to ease your mind. I'd like to learn more about the core process

Regarding 2, I have the same a-prioris about cloaked breathing, except I have asthma or a condition vaguely similar because I didn't monitor its progression along the years. I just know it's pretty bad from tests done few years ago and when grandmas / grandpas make me feel like a turtle facing rabits on a steep slope

I had the same reasoning as you, that I should do something, get back on deep chemical treatment (I had stopped it all to rely on light natural remedies like Propolis - bee wax) and lose some weight to free up some space for lungs, to help be in better shape when the deed has to be done. But will it be enough ? it may be not sufficient against the SN process (understood your potentiator combination will also come with its own effects). My medical inclination stops here from giving you reassurance
I believe that the strong selling point of SN is the reliability in a relatively short period time of discomfort / suffering, before but also after the loss of consciousness (I value it more than N).

However, I disagree with those who claim that breathing crisis are always bearable. When it's strong, it's clearly unpleasant and becomes a pain for the mind more than physically (minimum sensations like some upper chest / lower throat tingling or rowdiness from forcing the obfuscation, just not fully absent)
In fact, I exactly pondered like you, would our condition fasten the unconsciousness' arrival versus making it a bad experience ? Where's the trade-off ? Are we lucky or unlucky about where we start ? About the inert gas exit bag, it is clearly thought that it would be a con (about peacefulness and reliability to carry on), but it does not appear to be the same mechanism.
All I know is I would make sure to be isolated and unable to reach help (alone, phone not charged) as a precaution to hang on through from start to end. When I had a high level of breathing blocking, I remember I had difficulties to stay in the same position and was inclined to walk around to distract my mind. Ultimately, I could fight calling for help but it was an internal battle

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@enjolras, I really appreciate your perspective and taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. Thank you.

The mosquito tent is very small, I can use it in my own bed. It's more of a tent over the head and netting over the body.

I can 99.9% guarantee I will not be interrupted, let alone found for quite some time afterwards. Thank you for the reminder about making the phone inaccessible, though I am not tempted to be rescued. If I can overcome SI to attempt either method, I will follow through.

 

[enjolras]

or backup if the CO fails.)

You meant SN ? The back of your mind seem set about getting further confirmations researching CO making it bold that the peace factor is important to you

In my eyes, the next best thing past N was Propoxyphene regarding all parameters after inspection, but can't quite get my hands on it. It was banned in several parts of the world years ago, yet seems like still unrestricted elsewhere. Give it a quick glance of verification in MX ? (doubtful) if in need of yet another alternative

Hope other persons can get involved in this discussion

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Which country you from?

Sorry, I don't see how that applies to my dilemma of choosing between methods.

You meant SN ? The back of your mind is set about researching more on CO making it bold that the peace factor is important to you

In my eyes, the next best thing past N was Propoxyphene regarding all parameters after inspection, but can't quite get my hands on it. It was banned in several parts of the world years ago, yet seems like still unrestricted elsewhere. Give it a quick glance of verification in MX ? (doubtful) if in need of yet another alternative

Hope other persons can get involved in this discussion

I have researched as much as I can on CO. I repeatedly ask questions, and no one answers. It's a popular method irl but not on SS. If I had more certainty about its reliability and survival, it would likely be my first choice. I want the peacefulness, but right now it feels like a slot machine -- just because I want the jackpot doesn't mean I'll get it, and I don't know what the odds are.

The other method you mentioned is not available in my country.

 

[Ἡγησίας]

Did you read this thread? It may help you.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/leaving-tonight.3163/post-43444

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

Regarding SN - I also have doubts about the suffocation piece and the length of time one is alive after ingestion. I would also assume SN may increase suffering in anyone with anxiety (i.e. panic attacks) and other breathing ailments as the body has additional triggers for automatic / sympathetic nervous systems upon hyperventilation / oxygen deprivation (nothing scientific just my hunches which could be wrong). As such I have a bit of a personal bias against SN. Do take that into consideration as you read my answer.


I'd go with CO method. However, the charcoal and chimney starter seem as if they would take too much time for the buildup of gases. I've had accidental CO poisoning long time ago due to an oven being left on overnight. I remember being so weak and dizzy that I had almost no energy to crawl out of bed and mess with the window lock contraption. Something (perhaps adrenaline) gave me a boost to get that window open. Had I not gotten it open I'm sure I'd be gone today. I mention that story as some kind of unconscious SI may kick in and you may open your tent given that you are subconsciously aware of the slow charcoal burn in progress. The hours of being dizzy due to slow low grade intake will extend the time required to exit, and thus increase the chances of you changing your mind. To avoid this you may want to consider going hardcore on your method and spending a bit more for an upgraded CO system...

(I'm going to extrapolate out and assume that since you are / were a lawyer, you have a decent amount of funds such that you can spend more on your method? If you are collecting disability that would also be a "sufficient" amount based on your prior career. I wouldnt offer a suggestion that appears impractical for you.)

That said, I'd go with carbon monoxide from a gas / electric generator. Its the method of Conrad Roy (suicide texting case). I'd want a quicker production of gases (i.e. shorter time frame) so I could exit quickly. A person in that predicament may be willing to pay extra for that guarantee. The cost of a generator is cheaper than quoted prices of worldwide N shipments. In North America both the jungle website and the spanish "sister website" to the jungle website have generators. They are also sold in that popular discount megastore with the international footprint. Deciding wether to spend that money is the equivalent of triggering SI, imo--or at least it is for me! --however I do admit I would also buy N in a heartbeat. (I'm guessing you would too from some prior posts.)

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@Mainlænder, I had not seen that and it was very helpful, thank you.

My plan with CO is to burn the briquettes in the chimney starter, and once cooled, spread them out in a metal pan with another under it with water, put it in the tent for a while to build up CO levels, then get in and place the pans on my lap. The thing with charcoal is to not rush; as mentioned in the thread @Mainlænder shared, charcoal still emits CO 3-4 hours after cooling. I will be in a very small space, so the CO should build up quickly. My goal is that the coals will not be glowing or emitting any smoke, the goal is to have CO fumes, not smoke fumes.

@LMFAO FOCKERS, thank you for the thoughtful post. Really appreciate hearing about your personal experience and your personal preference. Yeah, if I had N, that would rock. A never responded to me, so I moved on.

I was joking about having been a lawyer, total deadpan humor with no emojis. Just cleared that up in the other thread. I do have the funds for a generator, but after reading the shit show of a CO megathread, I'm still not confident with that method. Although, I used to live in a hurricane zone, I've been through something like six hurricanes or more, I lost count, and almost every time, there were news reports of someone dying or almost dying from running a generator in their garage. The drawback for me with the charcoal is that I will be in a very small space with no ventilation, so I will definitely be feeling some panic, perhaps taking 40 mg of diazepam will help, and the CO concentration should build quickly, but I'm still going to panic from the stuffiness, I hate that feeling.

I would be much more comfortable if I were in a room and not that stuffy little tent space. So if anyone has enough knowledge that they could walk me through the CO generator method via PM or, even better, an open conversation on the the CO megathread, I would be down with that. I would need help choosing a generator and figuring out how to do the method because shit show in progress, no comprendo.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

So far I've gotten some thoughtful and helpful responses on this thread. Thank you all. Ive decided the generator is a no-go for me for various reasons.

Hoping for more insightful responses so bumping.