Venting need friends to be happy but i dont want to make friends

[emptymiku]

i cant make friends because something always goes wrong and they leave me. i become so codependent that it scares them away and i dont know why i end up like that. the last time i had a friend was about a year ago and even though the friendship was online and lasted less than 6 months i still have to take a moment to calm down every time i hear the name of the province he lives in. if i just had a friend like that again that never wanted to leave me i could be happy for once. but i can't. i'm a useless fucking idiot i hope i don't hurt anyone ever again

 

[wondering&wandering]

I 100% relate. Especially the part about hurting others. :(

It takes a lot of time and self-reflection and self-control (that is still not quite controlled to be honest), but I finally made a few online friends last year. Almost at a one year anniversary with one. :0

So, if you desire friends I wouldn't give up. You seem like a nice enough person. :D And like, I mean, look at my post history, you can see that I've had a lot of turmoil regarding having friends, so it's not like you'll just magically wake up one day and be a perfect friend to others. However, you can keep trying your best, find friends willing to forgive you for mistakes, and do your best to work towards being a better friend.

I hope that helps. I'd say we can be friends, but to be honest, I'm hoping to recover and leave this place. However, if you'd like we can try to be friends for a couple days, and if you even want to we can connect on Discord if you want to share your username via a PM. Totally understand if not because honestly, we sound very similar and we could end up just hurting each other. But if you want we can try. :D Again, no worries if not.

Regardless, I wish you peace!

 

[hopeifindmyself]

Getting to know each other, you just need to find compatible kind people.

 

[particularrodent]

I 100% relate. Especially the part about hurting others. :(

It takes a lot of time and self-reflection and self-control (that is still not quite controlled to be honest), but I finally made a few online friends last year. Almost at a one year anniversary with one. :0

So, if you desire friends I wouldn't give up. You seem like a nice enough person. :D And like, I mean, look at my post history, you can see that I've had a lot of turmoil regarding having friends, so it's not like you'll just magically wake up one day and be a perfect friend to others. However, you can keep trying your best, find friends willing to forgive you for mistakes, and do your best to work towards being a better friend.

I hope that helps. I'd say we can be friends, but to be honest, I'm hoping to recover and leave this place. However, if you'd like we can try to be friends for a couple days, and if you even want to we can connect on Discord if you want to share your username via a PM. Totally understand if not because honestly, we sound very similar and we could end up just hurting each other. But if you want we can try. :D Again, no worries if not.

Regardless, I wish you peace!

S+M PFP SPOTTED. GIANTS LYRICS RECOGNIZED.

 

[wondering&wandering]

S+M PFP SPOTTED. GIANTS LYRICS RECOGNIZED.

Haha, lol; you got me. :D S+M is the best album imo. :D

 

[CogitoMori]

I feel the same. My problem is that nobody communicates properly. If I do something they don't like, instead of telling me they just act like complete bitches for seemingly no reason. Htf am I supposed to fix whatever I'm doing to annoy people if they won't fucking tell me what the problem is? Since nobody will bother to respect me enough to tell me I'm just gonna end all problems permanently.

 

[particularrodent]

Haha, lol; you got me. :D S+M is the best album imo. :D

sorry to derail the og thread, but mind if i pm? if you want to talk imagine dragons that is (i actually like origins the most but in terms of musical quality s+m is the best yeah)

 

[emptymiku]

I 100% relate. Especially the part about hurting others. :(

It takes a lot of time and self-reflection and self-control (that is still not quite controlled to be honest), but I finally made a few online friends last year. Almost at a one year anniversary with one. :0

So, if you desire friends I wouldn't give up. You seem like a nice enough person. :D And like, I mean, look at my post history, you can see that I've had a lot of turmoil regarding having friends, so it's not like you'll just magically wake up one day and be a perfect friend to others. However, you can keep trying your best, find friends willing to forgive you for mistakes, and do your best to work towards being a better friend.

I hope that helps. I'd say we can be friends, but to be honest, I'm hoping to recover and leave this place. However, if you'd like we can try to be friends for a couple days, and if you even want to we can connect on Discord if you want to share your username via a PM. Totally understand if not because honestly, we sound very similar and we could end up just hurting each other. But if you want we can try. :D Again, no worries if not.

Regardless, I wish you peace!

ahhh i dont know, i want to completely stay anonymous from my online profiles outside of SaSu & my discord is connected to them. i would need to know your interests & age & stuff too

 

[wondering&wandering]

sorry to derail the og thread, but mind if i pm? if you want to talk imagine dragons that is (i actually like origins the most but in terms of musical quality s+m is the best yeah)

Yeah, you're more than welcome to PM me. I'm actually going to be taking a break from SaSu since I'm actively making a choice to recover (and I've found it's hard to recover while still being on here). So, we might only have a day to talk, but if it works out, we can talk some. :)

Although, now that I'm thinking about it, you might not be able to PM yet...hmm.

ahhh i dont know, i want to completely stay anonymous from my online profiles outside of SaSu & my discord is connected to them. i would need to know your interests & age & stuff too

Yeah, no worries at all. I completely understand. You're welcome to PM me here if that works better to talk about that stuff, but I also get it if this was more of a vent than trying to find a friend. Regardless, I wish you peace!

 

[yousaidimsweet]

i relate to this so much omg. i tend to be a very codependent person and develop friendships with people who are okay with our dynamic being that way for a few months before they eventually leave me, but i've realized for myself how horrible this cycle is and how it always sets me up to be left isolated. like last year i got into a codependent relationship with my best friend where we called every single day for a month straight (because we both went through something traumatic together) but then all of a sudden she found a new best friend and never calls me now. i felt really hurt and broken by it, but that's kinda what happens in friendships like this. one person always moves on, another always gets hurt more than the other.

i hear you though. it is really hard not to blame yourself or close yourself off from future relationships because of this. personally i have developed horrific trust issues due to many past codependent friendships and cannot trust anyone in my life, when before i would trust everyone too much. i don't have a solution to offer because this has been troubling me too for the past few months, but know that there is someone out there in the world like myself who resonate with you.

 

[particularrodent]

Yeah, you're more than welcome to PM me. I'm actually going to be taking a break from SaSu since I'm actively making a choice to recover (and I've found it's hard to recover while still being on here). So, we might only have a day to talk, but if it works out, we can talk some. :)

Although, now that I'm thinking about it, you might not be able to PM yet...hmm.

Yeah, no worries at all. I completely understand. You're welcome to PM me here if that works better to talk about that stuff, but I also get it if this was more of a vent than trying to find a friend. Regardless, I wish you peace!

hmmm it says i can send a pm and i tried but i can't find it anymore. oh well :(
wishing you a good recovery!

 

[EternalShore]

I'm so sorry about that! :( Having no friends must be so awful and lonely~ >_< I feel that way just about having no irl friends~ :( It must be even worse without online friends! D: Trying to maintain them is like some sick game~ :/ like you can't talk too much nor too little, and it has to be a lot about their stuff! >_< It's all so tiresome... :(

 

[Namelesa]

I have the same fluffing problem. I have a cycle of getting a friend and being obsessed and dependent on them for my main source of happiness and at some point they leave me which just leaves me in a worse state. I might have found an exception this rule with one person tho as neither of us have left each other due to issues with the other person or fear of abandonment despite some of the ways we treated each other when we were in a relationship. My fear of abandonment with him is much less intense cus of the fact we have already dealt with the worst things about the other person and that we have known each other for 2 years now yet still want to be friends. I am very thankful for him to still stick with me despite his and my mental problems. The main problem with our friendship is that we can't call as much now and its really difficult to physically see each other due to both our parent's restrictions but I still want to keep contact and keep him as my friend (unless I get a successful ctb attempt.)

So I would say good friends that don't leave you do exist, just extremely rare and that you have to keep trying but its understandable for you to give up the search as it can be so hard.