nearing CTB. relieved but also scared.

[luks]

my method for ctb'ing has been nearing completion. the state that I live in requires a FOID card in order to purchase firearms. i was originally denied last year because i had been in a mental ward when i was 15. its been 10 years since that time (and the law does state if its been over five years youre good), but nonetheless it was denied. last week I made an appointment for a mental health evaluation for a doctor that specifically does them for FOID applications. it's a $500 dollar fee that i'm just gonna put on my credit card. when i talked to him over the phone he said once the evaluation is done it takes at most 2 months to be accepted for my FOID.

i have those 2 months to do everything i want to do on this earth. although i'll probably just stay in my room at home like i normally do. i'm a little worried about a failed attempt and being a vegetable the rest of my life. i'm probably gonna go with getting a shotgun because the survival rate for that compared to a rifle/handgun is next to nothing. i also don't know where i would carry out this attempt. i don't wanna do it in my room because my roommate will find me and have to clean up the damages, and that's just not fair to him. i'm thinking maybe i go in the woods (my secret spot. right next to a pretty waterfall.), but i fear i'll alert someone carrying a big ass weapons case into the middle of the woods. the case is concealed obviously, but maybe i'm thinking about it too much.

i'm just not sure how to feel about all this

 

[allgoodthanks]

my method for ctb'ing has been nearing completion. the state that I live in requires a FOID card in order to purchase firearms. i was originally denied last year because i had been in a mental ward when i was 15. its been 10 years since that time (and the law does state if its been over five years youre good), but nonetheless it was denied. last week I made an appointment for a mental health evaluation for a doctor that specifically does them for FOID applications. it's a $500 dollar fee that i'm just gonna put on my credit card. when i talked to him over the phone he said once the evaluation is done it takes at most 2 months to be accepted for my FOID.

i have those 2 months to do everything i want to do on this earth. although i'll probably just stay in my room at home like i normally do. i'm a little worried about a failed attempt and being a vegetable the rest of my life. i'm probably gonna go with getting a shotgun because the survival rate for that compared to a rifle/handgun is next to nothing. i also don't know where i would carry out this attempt. i don't wanna do it in my room because my roommate will find me and have to clean up the damages, and that's just not fair to him. i'm thinking maybe i go in the woods (my secret spot. right next to a pretty waterfall.), but i fear i'll alert someone carrying a big ass weapons case into the middle of the woods. the case is concealed obviously, but maybe i'm thinking about it too much.

i'm just not sure how to feel about all this

It's great that your pain will end soon. Don't worry too much it will be okay, you already said that the survival rate with a shotgun is low. I hope everything works out well for you! Until that time comes, take care :)

 

[samdocheon]

Anything you really want to do/see before ?

 

[Davey36000]

If you are not sure how you feel about it, then maybe it's not the time yet.

 

[Necrosis]

You could carry your gun in a camping chair case and it'll be less suspicious? I dunno. You're also in the midwest, so I cant imagine what there is around that you'd really like to do. Are you considering traveling?

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you all the best.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

The best way to not look suspicious is to carry it like it's no big deal. Do you have a strap for it you could even just sling it across your back? Many carry rifles or other firearms wherever they're going here, esp outdoors. no one would think twice out here. Good luck.

 

[luks]

The best way to not look suspicious is to carry it like it's no big deal. Do you have a strap for it you could even just sling it across your back? Many carry rifles or other firearms wherever they're going here, esp outdoors. no one would think twice out here. Good luck.

the woods i go to is more of a forest preserve and has a lot of bikers and families walking on the trail. its big enough though that if i were to go far enough away no one from the trail could see me

You could carry your gun in a camping chair case and it'll be less suspicious? I dunno. You're also in the midwest, so I cant imagine what there is around that you'd really like to do. Are you considering traveling?

dont have enough money to travel. the main thing id wanna do is just relapse on alcohol for a week nonstop and then ctb

Anything you really want to do/see before ?

id really love to say goodbye to my ex. they were the only person on earth i truly felt loved by. i had to break up with them for a lot of reasons but i wish i could just say goodbye

 

[opheliaoveragain]

We're here, however much you wanna talk about it. PMs open if you want to chat; your plan sounds solid. You have more than enough time to decide how you feel, as much time as you want. Even once you get a hold of it, you can still wait. There's zero shame in not being sure how you feel about it, it's no small thing. <3 Keep us updated, we care.