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nogods4me

Member
Nov 26, 2024
32
I think people with NPD are beyond redemption and should be avoided at all costs. I have known someone with that diagnosis and can attest to the fact that they are truly revolting people at their core. They are also fundamentally dishonest and will always be in the process of trying to manipulate and abuse you. Steer clear of them at all costs. I don´t think they can ever be cured of the disease that constitutes who or rather what they are, so the world would be better off without them.

And finally, if you have been at the other end of a narcissist's disease, just rest easy knowing that they are ultimately pathetic people with nothing to show for themselves aside from the personal hell they created. They are getting exactly what they deserve.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/her, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
438
ableism is bad actually, not everyone with this (or any) condition is just inherently evil and will always do bad stuff
 
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nogods4me

Member
Nov 26, 2024
32
ableism is bad actually, not everyone with this (or any) condition is just inherently evil and will always do bad stuff
You're free to enjoy all the monstrous pieces of shit you want in your life.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/her, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
438
You're free to enjoy all the monstrous pieces of shit you want in your life.
i hope you grow as a person and can recognise that not everyone with a condition will be abusive or a horrible person just because of that condition
 
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shrizoid

shrizoid

Student
Nov 18, 2024
103
Well damn
 
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alienfreak

alienfreak

.
Sep 25, 2024
273
I knew 2 people with borderline personality disorder that damaged me, and with regard to them at times I would be tempted to say something similar. However, there are a lot of people on here with it, it seems. Psychiatric diagnosis seems like barely a science at all and people are very complex, so people aren't just their diagnosis. In any case think even the "worst" person can't help who they are and they probably suffer immensely, so although i would avoid these sort of people, i still empathise with them and dont wish ill toward them.
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
547
cluster b personalities reading this like 👁️👄👁️

bro lacks empathy complaining about narcissists lacking empathy… the irony

if you gotta reduce someone to their diagnosis without any consideration for their actions, just to dehumanize them, says more about you than any "narcissist" i think
 
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CatLvr

Elementalist
Aug 1, 2024
802
Yeah, I was raised by a narcissistic mother, with an enabler for a dad. I KNOW the red flags intimately. And NO THANK YOU. The only people I am saving from now on are myself, and my children.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,980
Wht = ironc = tht ths thred wll v probbly nt offnd 99% of ppl wth NPD bcse mst ppl wth NPD rfuse 2 acknwldge or accpt tht thy hve th/ persnlty dsordr s/ th/ thred wll alwys b abt sme1 els

OP am srry tht u hve bn on th/ recevng end of narcsstc abse
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
3,170
And finally, if you have been at the other end of a narcissist's disease, just rest easy knowing that they are ultimately pathetic people with nothing to show for themselves aside from the personal hell they created. They are getting exactly what they deserve
NPD is a personally disorder, not something they asked for.
Yes they are very difficult people, but calling calling them pathetic isn't cool.

I get you have maybe personal experiences with a narcissistic person, but this is uncalled for.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/her, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
438
NPD is a personally disorder, not something they asked for.
Yes they are very difficult people, but calling calling them pathetic isn't cool.

I get you have maybe personal experiences with a narcissistic person, but this is uncalled for.
dont forget "the world would be better off without them." just sounds like its advocating for pretty bad stuff im ngl arguably worse than just calling them pathetic

sounds like its just advocating for killing them all or something
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
547
wish we could say abusive when we mean abusive instead of this silly trend of labelling every person we don't like as a narcissist. there's a clinical definition for npd after all.

seems like this post would have been a non-issue if you just took the time to yk not generalize… imagine if the post was just "abusers" instead of "narcissists." i have my suspicions the person isn't even a narcissist you just don't like them. but i digress.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/her, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
438
wish we could say abusive when we mean abusive instead of this silly trend of labelling every person we don't like as a narcissist. there's a clinical definition for npd after all.

seems like this post would have been a non-issue if you just took the time to yk not generalize… imagine if the post was just "abusers" instead of "narcissists." i have my suspicions the person isn't even a narcissist you just don't like them. but i digress.
pop psychology and its consequences, now everyone just uses "narcissist" to mean "anyone i dont like who does something bad"
 
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nogods4me

Member
Nov 26, 2024
32
NPD is a personally disorder, not something they asked for.
Yes they are very difficult people, but calling calling them pathetic isn't cool.

I get you have maybe personal experiences with a narcissistic person, but this is uncalled for.
If you think this thread is inappropriate then by all means, delete it.

I just feel bad for anyone who will be duped by people with NPD because they don´t want to be "ableist" ot don´t want to be called narcissists for noticing that people with that diagnosis are hated for a reason.
wish we could say abusive when we mean abusive instead of this silly trend of labelling every person we don't like as a narcissist. there's a clinical definition for npd after all.

seems like this post would have been a non-issue if you just took the time to yk not generalize… imagine if the post was just "abusers" instead of "narcissists." i have my suspicions the person isn't even a narcissist you just don't like them. but i digress.
You can have all the suspicions you want.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/her, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
438
If you think this thread is inappropriate then by all means, delete it.

I just feel bad for anyone who will be duped by people with NPD because they don´t want to be "ableist" ot don´t want to be called narcissists for noticing that people with that diagnosis are hated for a reason.

You can have all the suspicions you want.
please change and grow as a person
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/her, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
438
You first :smiling:.
nah im not an ableist scumbag who thinks everyone with a condition that happens to cause some people to be terrible should just die (because what the fuck else could "the world would be better off without them." mean lmao)
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
237
The problem with generalizing everyone with NPD to be bad and/or abusive is that people who have it who also haven't done any harm or abused anyone is going to feel guilt and shame about their disorder even tho they haven't done anything wrong. These people don't deserve to be hated for having an illness that they didn't ask for. You can hate abusive narcissists but not innocent people suffering with NPD. Or maybe I am just saying this cus I feel guilt and shame about some thoughts I have which most people would stigmatize me for despite me never enacting on those thoughts.
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

In the Service of the Queen
Sep 19, 2023
1,899
Abuse is cyclic and this thread is a good example.

There is an important distinction to be made between the trait of narcissism and the personality disorder. Plenty of people without an actual disorder are dicks who hurt others. Plenty of people with a disorder are trying very hard not to hurt others and are great people because they know their own weaknesses. Then there are people without a disorder who use "cluster B" generally without a diagnosis as a license to be a dick.

I'm very sorry someone hurt you, which is the underlying point here. I also agree you should avoid generalizing. That does not negate the harm you've felt. Please don't take it out on others.
 
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nogods4me

Member
Nov 26, 2024
32
Abuse is cyclic and this thread is a good example.

There is an important distinction to be made between the trait of narcissism and the personality disorder. Plenty of people without an actual disorder are dicks who hurt others. Plenty of people with a disorder are trying very hard not to hurt others and are great people because they know their own weaknesses. Then there are people without a disorder who use "cluster B" generally without a diagnosis as a license to be a dick.

I'm very sorry someone hurt you, which is the underlying point here. I also agree you should avoid generalizing. That does not negate the harm you've felt. Please don't take it out on others.
Fair points but aren´t people with NPD more likely to be harmful? I don´t think anyone should take chances with them espescially since they are known for being particularly insidious so that by the time they've done their damage it is too late for the people they abused.

I get that a mod might want to delete this because it makes people with NPD feel bad but I feel bad for those who will up their chances of being abused by befriending people with that diagnosis, not to mention the fact that most people who have it apparently won´t be offended because they won´t acknowledge that they have it. So no risk of a cycle of abuse for those suffering from NPD who might read this post.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,736
NDP and "narcissistic abuse" are two separate things. There are plenty of people with NDP who aren't abusive, just as how there are plenty of people without NDP who are abusive. Hell, most "narcissistic abusers" probably wouldn't even make the criteria needed to be diagnosed with NDP. I'd honestly prefer to hang out with someone with NDP over you, considering how this vile thread poorly reflects on your character.
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

In the Service of the Queen
Sep 19, 2023
1,899
Fair points but aren´t people with NPD more likely to be harmful?
Possibly, and almost definitely if they aren't diagnosed. In different regions certain races are more likely to commit crime, generally for a variety of factors. You don't write off the race.

You started the thread by saying "I think people with NPD are beyond redemption and should be avoided at all costs." You didn't say "some people" or that it is hard for them to find redemption, or that because of your experience you are personally very skeptical: you went for the generalizing jugular.

I get that a mod might want to delete this because it makes people with NPD feel bad but I feel bad for those who will up their chances of being abused by befriending people with that diagnosis, not to mention the fact that most people who have it apparently won´t be offended because they won´t acknowledge that they have it. So no risk of a cycle of abuse for those suffering from NPD who might read this post.
It's a very tough situation. I hope you know I understand your frustration. I was friends with someone convinced she had some cluster B disorder and it didn't end well at all. Hurt a lot, actually.

There are definitely some people who accept the diagnosis and know that they have it. They really don't want to hurt people, and they're doing their best. I know your experience has been negative, but it's not the only experience.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,980
R thre n.e actul ppl wth NPD wh/ r upst b/ ths thred or = convrsatn goin2 kp b-ing ppl gttng offendd on b-half of sme1 wh/ = nt hre

Perhps thre cld b sme balnce betwn dsgreein wth genrlisatns & dscussng tht whle nt gttng persnl wth OP whle also accptng tht OP hs bn damgd b/ narcsstc abse whch commnly tkes yrs 2 recvr frm & cn vry mch brk a persn
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

In the Service of the Queen
Sep 19, 2023
1,899
R thre n.e actul ppl wth NPD wh/ r upst b/ ths thred or = convrsatn goin2 kp b-ing ppl gttng offendd on b-half of sme1 wh/ = nt hre

Perhps thre cld b sme balnce betwn dsgreein wth genrlisatns & dscussng tht whle nt gttng persnl wth OP whle also accptng tht OP hs bn damgd b/ narcsst abse whch commnly tkes yrs 2 recvr frm & cn vry mch brk a persn
I think this is very important and I hope I'm balancing it with my responses, because I agree. The damage and frustration are completely legitimate and OP deserves support for that. I just think we can also cool the temperature on generalizing. The focus should be on the person who hurt OP, not other people out there.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,736
R thre n.e actul ppl wth NPD wh/ r upst b/ ths thred or = convrsatn goin2 kp b-ing ppl gttng offendd on b-half of sme1 wh/ = nt hre

Perhps thre cld b sme balnce betwn dsgreein wth genrlisatns & dscussng tht whle nt gttng persnl wth OP whle also accptng tht OP hs bn damgd b/ narcsst abse whch commnly tkes yrs 2 recvr frm & cn vry mch brk a persn
Would you be saying the same thing if the OP was saying this about BPD? How about depression or ADHD? There have been users on here with NDP before who have talked about how this crap negatively impacts them, so calling it out is justified. Along with that, narcissistic abuse is poorly defined and a lot of said "narcissistic abusers" are people who aren't even diagnosed with NDP in most cases.

Nobody is saying that it's wrong to talk about their abuse, the problem is that they are using it to justify ableist rhetoric. There is no balance here. Going out of your way to demonize an entire demographic of people, a lot of whom also have their own traumas that have led to being who they are today, is awful. The OP easily could have just kept this to themself. The minute they made this thread was the minute they opened themself up to criticism.
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
547
R thre n.e actul ppl wth NPD wh/ r upst b/ ths thred or = convrsatn goin2 kp b-ing ppl gttng offendd on b-half of sme1 wh/ = nt hre

Perhps thre cld b sme balnce betwn dsgreein wth genrlisatns & dscussng tht whle nt gttng persnl wth OP whle also accptng tht OP hs bn damgd b/ narcsstc abse whch commnly tkes yrs 2 recvr frm & cn vry mch brk a persn
are we obligated to disclose our diagnoses in order to be treated with more empathy or?

imagine if this were about literally any other group. no one would be clamouring "well are there any black people, any women, any disabled people, here to even get offended?"

weird take from someone who's opinion i normally regard highly. how disappointing.

this also isn't even marked a venting thread, op doesn't even think he's here to vent he's just here as a psa! lol!
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,980
are we obligated to disclose our diagnoses in order to be treated with more empathy or?

imagine if this were about literally any other group. no one would be clamouring "well are there any black people, any women, any disabled people, here to even get offended?"

weird take from someone who's opinion i normally regard highly. how disappointing.

this also isn't even marked a venting thread, op doesn't even think he's here to vent he's just here as a psa! lol!

Slf wll d.m

= jst gts frstr8tng smetmes whn c-ing dscussns on th/ ste & whre = obvs tht sme1 = talkng frm a tramtisd perspctve thy r attckd s/ easly

Thre = nothng t/ stp ppl sayng 'slf gt tht u hve hd abse bt nt all NPDs r lke tht' bt s/ oftn = quckly trns in2 jumpng @ ppl & tellng thm thy r a trrble persn & = jst fls as tho smetmes thngs escl8 whn thy rlly d/ nt nd 2 & thre = s/ mch reactvty whch obvsly slf hve also jst cntributd 2

thred shld prbbly b lockd or deletd
 
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nogods4me

Member
Nov 26, 2024
32
Possibly, and almost definitely if they aren't diagnosed. In different regions certain races are more likely to commit crime, generally for a variety of factors. You don't write off the race.

You started the thread by saying "I think people with NPD are beyond redemption and should be avoided at all costs." You didn't say "some people" or that it is hard for them to find redemption, or that because of your experience you are personally very skeptical: you went for the generalizing jugular.


It's a very tough situation. I hope you know I understand your frustration. I was friends with someone convinced she had some cluster B disorder and it didn't end well at all. Hurt a lot, actually.

There are definitely some people who accept the diagnosis and know that they have it. They really don't want to hurt people, and they're doing their best. I know your experience has been negative, but it's not the only experience.
I did go for the jugular but I am surprised at how controversial it is since it is known that people with NPD are more likely to harm others.

I don´t write off the race if it is proven that they are like that due to a bad environment but people should know whether they are putting themselves in harms way. If they know and still go for it, good for them but I feel zero obligation to do so and I don´t think anyone else should either. When people are forced not to use profiling it is for a specific set of situations. Personal relationships have yet to be added as a situation in which the state will coerce someone into gambling with their safety but if that changed tomorrow I would still tell people I cared about not to have anything to do with those who are likely to harm them. When the treatment defines them more than the diagnosis it might make sense to have a different opinion.
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
547
we've now reached the point where op is justifying racism to defend their point! i think it's time to call it there, folks.
 
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