WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher
Dec 25, 2020
1,135
As the title says.

For convenience purposes, I'll refer to her as Nmother or Nmom.

I'm still simmering with rage as I'm typing this. I feel so violated and unsafe.

Understandably my phone wasn't with me when my family called 3+ times to tell me they were coming to pick me up after meeting up with our relative. I work as a dispenser and receptionist at a Chinese Medicine clinic, and I just so happened to have gone to the back to get some cleaning work done. While I was at it I heard the doorbell ring, then the doctor on shift said it was my mom, and that she was looking for me.

Something just ignited in me. Thankfully, that doctor was the only one who's working today, and he is not my boss. Trying my best to keep it in, I told him I needed another five minutes to finish up my work. This is the second time my nmother showed up, uninvited and unannounced. The first time she was also there to pick me up, and just like today I also had work that needed to be done, even though it was already past my working hours. She behaved as if the place were hersโ€”going in to the dispensary area where the medicines are kept to get a look at what we have in stock. (Areas are these are private and off-limits to customers is something everyone should know!)

Finally done, I went outside and Nmom was sitting at the reception area. Without thinking, the words that shot out of my mouth, in my native language, were "Why did you come here?" My tone was rude and unfriendly. I almost didn't notice the doctor at the reception desk, and when I did, I immediately regretted not having been "more polite". Nmom replied that they had come to pick me up, so after a few lines exchanged with the doctor about tomorrow's schedule, we made our leave to the car. On the trip back I was in no mood to talk to anyone at all.

At first I felt ashamed of how I acted in front of the doctor. But thanks to therapy I was able to reassure myself in no time that my response to Nmom's blatant disrespect for my boundaries was completely justified. Not only that, but I'm becoming less and less concerned with what others thinkโ€”they're entitled to their opinions and it's not up to me to change them.
 
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WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher
Dec 25, 2020
1,135
Bumping this as I have things that I need to get done together with family for the next two days, which I'm not at all looking forward to.
 
SilentSadness

SilentSadness

The rain pours eternally.
Feb 28, 2023
1,123
That sounds tragic for you, I can empathise with having to deal with people who consistently mistreat you for absolutely no reason, it's insane honestly.
 
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WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher
Dec 25, 2020
1,135
Thank you @SilentSadness

I believe that to a certain extent my nparents are unaware of their actions and how they will affect those around them. I suppose they only act the way they do because of how they were raised and conditioned to behave by their own parents.

But, with that being said, refusing to admit, or even outright denying your mistakes when confronted, then making ad hominem tu quoque (i.e. "whataboutism") attacks speaks volumes about them as role models.
 

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