WhatDoesTheFoxSay?
Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher
- Dec 25, 2020
- 1,117
I'm tired.
My father is the textbook definition of a narcissist – manipulative, self-absorbed and conceited. This rant is in response to recent events. I'm about to lose my shit. I've split this up into three parts – if I were to include every single little detail, I'd be able to write my Master's thesis. For convenience I'll just refer to him as N(narcissist)dad.
Tl/dr; Ndad manipulates you through indoctrination and religious proselytising. He lies, exaggerates and distorts facts to get his way. He sees the negative in everything and, threatened by your independence, tries to put you down. He does things only to benefit himself and to him you're just a possession. He takes disagreement as a personal insult and will lash out at anyone who bruises his ego.
I. MANIPULATIVE
For starters, Ndad likes to manipulate others, and is willing to use any and all means to get what he wants. As long as he gets his way, he couldn't care less about the consequences, long-term or not. There has been so many instances of his manipulative behaviour that I don't even know where to start. As long as I can remember, he has constantly reminded me and my siblings that it's a child's duty to reciprocate the care his/her parents have given. Since preschool he has asked questions like "Will you take care of me when I'm old?" and "Will you be sad when I die?"
It gets even worse when Ndad uses his religion as a tool of control and indoctrination. Children who do not 'obey their father and mother', and who are unfilial have the worst punishments reserved for them in the afterlife. For throwing God's gift back in His face, suicides have not a cat in hell's chance (no pun indented) at liberation. He believes that one's present misfortunes (including physical ailments) are a reflection of the sins of past lives. Terminal cancer with autoimmune disease as comorbidities? Your fault. Disfigured and paralysed from an automobile accident? Your fault. REPENT, AND THOU SHALT BE SAVED.
Ndad is the classic example of 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'. Being what you call an 'absent father', as soon as he gets the chance he would gaslight to remind us of his presence in our lives. The good moments we had, all the things he has done for us – a not-so-subtle hint to keep our end of the bargain. Yes, I get it. I have food on the table, clothes on my back and a roof on my head. Yes, I am 'grateful to have such a good and responsible father' (Oh, the cringe).
Ndad has no scruples about lying, exaggerating and distorting facts to justify his actions or just to simply get a reaction out of you. Here's one that makes my blood boil when I think of it. Back in primary school, I was addicted to video games. To limit my gaming time, he lied that he'd installed unlicensed software on my desktop, got into legal trouble and is to face imprisonment. Without without giving a second thought, I complied and let him set up a password. Whenever he got a health scare he would blow things out of proportion and play the "I don't have long to live" card. Being highly sensitive, I nearly had a panic attack after I being told of his heart condition. When Mom was diagnosed with cancer (she is in remission and has been well since), he used her illness to guilt trip me into working hard for my studies, and to put the fear of God into me.
To sum up, Ndad is a manipulator who excels at his craft, and I don't think it's wrong to say that he kick-started my downward spiral into depression.
PART II
PART III
My father is the textbook definition of a narcissist – manipulative, self-absorbed and conceited. This rant is in response to recent events. I'm about to lose my shit. I've split this up into three parts – if I were to include every single little detail, I'd be able to write my Master's thesis. For convenience I'll just refer to him as N(narcissist)dad.
Tl/dr; Ndad manipulates you through indoctrination and religious proselytising. He lies, exaggerates and distorts facts to get his way. He sees the negative in everything and, threatened by your independence, tries to put you down. He does things only to benefit himself and to him you're just a possession. He takes disagreement as a personal insult and will lash out at anyone who bruises his ego.
I. MANIPULATIVE
For starters, Ndad likes to manipulate others, and is willing to use any and all means to get what he wants. As long as he gets his way, he couldn't care less about the consequences, long-term or not. There has been so many instances of his manipulative behaviour that I don't even know where to start. As long as I can remember, he has constantly reminded me and my siblings that it's a child's duty to reciprocate the care his/her parents have given. Since preschool he has asked questions like "Will you take care of me when I'm old?" and "Will you be sad when I die?"
It gets even worse when Ndad uses his religion as a tool of control and indoctrination. Children who do not 'obey their father and mother', and who are unfilial have the worst punishments reserved for them in the afterlife. For throwing God's gift back in His face, suicides have not a cat in hell's chance (no pun indented) at liberation. He believes that one's present misfortunes (including physical ailments) are a reflection of the sins of past lives. Terminal cancer with autoimmune disease as comorbidities? Your fault. Disfigured and paralysed from an automobile accident? Your fault. REPENT, AND THOU SHALT BE SAVED.
Ndad is the classic example of 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'. Being what you call an 'absent father', as soon as he gets the chance he would gaslight to remind us of his presence in our lives. The good moments we had, all the things he has done for us – a not-so-subtle hint to keep our end of the bargain. Yes, I get it. I have food on the table, clothes on my back and a roof on my head. Yes, I am 'grateful to have such a good and responsible father' (Oh, the cringe).
Ndad has no scruples about lying, exaggerating and distorting facts to justify his actions or just to simply get a reaction out of you. Here's one that makes my blood boil when I think of it. Back in primary school, I was addicted to video games. To limit my gaming time, he lied that he'd installed unlicensed software on my desktop, got into legal trouble and is to face imprisonment. Without without giving a second thought, I complied and let him set up a password. Whenever he got a health scare he would blow things out of proportion and play the "I don't have long to live" card. Being highly sensitive, I nearly had a panic attack after I being told of his heart condition. When Mom was diagnosed with cancer (she is in remission and has been well since), he used her illness to guilt trip me into working hard for my studies, and to put the fear of God into me.
To sum up, Ndad is a manipulator who excels at his craft, and I don't think it's wrong to say that he kick-started my downward spiral into depression.
PART II
PART III
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