Una
Write something, even if it’s just a suicide note.
- Feb 28, 2020
- 87
Hi,
While I am still relatively new here and do not post or participate that much, I have seen few questions about 'N' and 'SN' in NZ and decided to share my own experience if it might help someone. For context; I am not a native New Zealander, albeit have been living in NZ for over two decades. I have struggled my whole life with problems one is sure to develop when equipped with heighten sensitivity, strong emotions and curious/sharp mind ... a 'killer' combination especially if bestowed on someone from the 'wrong side of the tracks' as in my case. Nevertheless, apart from 'run of the mill' depression and anxiety and the accompanying 'run of the mill' antidepressants ... no other diagnosis/treatment was ever suggested. No self-harm, any substance abuse, and no single thought of suicide despite some major trauma. I know now that all of that was due to certain doormat condition(s) there were never identified because - I was always 'functional' aka - alive enough to be a productively working and obligingly consuming unit. I am 54 now and have lost everything that is possible for a human being to lose … there is nothing left to either fight or live for.
Against that background, some 19 months ago a terrible tragedy devastated me. As soon as I could keep my fingers on a keyboard, I, for the first in my life, embarked on a research with the sole purpose to end my life. I first discovered 'Dignitas' the 'Exit International'. I pay my dues and obtained the information. There is nothing new here ... as long as profit is to be made, level of comfort one is to have on his/her journey to their final destination will depend on the depth of one's pocket.
Once I read about 'N from A' and learned his email address, I emailed him my first introductory email, half thinking that it will be in vain. That was in December 2018, long time before I found this forum. To my surprise he responded within a day, was very polite and helpful. He clearly outlined all the necessary details; what is 'N', how it works, how much to order, cost, including extra cost for the secure currier, risk that it still might get seized at border. I have since seen all those details floating around this forum quite freely too, which is good so that people have correct information. In any case, he also mentioned that I can pay with Bitcoin or cash. Since it was coming close to Christmas time and also because I wanted to test his credibility, we agreed that I will post required cash (US$) disguised inside a book, wrapped up as a Christmas present and posted as such to the address he nominated in MX. I added a nice NZ-made chocolates to it as a final touch! My logic was that if A is any kind of a crook - I will never hear from him again after he pockets my money and that would be the end of that. Admittingly, it was also my way to 'test the fate' ... my logic being - even if 'A' is not a crook, and sends me the real 'N', surely overly-zealous NZ custom will seize it at the border and may even charge me. Instead this is what actually happened: 'A' notified me immediately that he had received the cash. He than carefully packaged 'N' (original, intact bottles only re-labelled) and send them to me. I have received them to my name and home address without a single issue. I do live alone. Was I lucky? Was fate on my side? Yes, and for that I am very grateful.
As for SN … while waiting for 'N' to arrive, and as a back-up method I have searched for a good-quality (99.9% pure) SN which I have obtained easily from a local chemical supply shop that also offers its goods on the local trade portal. Admittingly this was some time before the recent restrictions have been put in place, I hear people here mentioning. That said, I still think that obtaining good-quality SN in NZ is not that difficult.
Anti-emetic like a Metoclopramide is high recommended when using either 'N' or "SN'. Beta blocker such as Inderal is, in some literature, recommended to potentiate 'N' but not necessary as ordinary alcohol does that best. As for the taste of 'N' - I have seen a post on this form that described the taste as; 'not that bad, like mixture of strong alcohol and almonds' and I can confirm that this is accurate even thought I have only tested a tiny amount to not damage my supply.
Hopefully this might help someone.
While I am still relatively new here and do not post or participate that much, I have seen few questions about 'N' and 'SN' in NZ and decided to share my own experience if it might help someone. For context; I am not a native New Zealander, albeit have been living in NZ for over two decades. I have struggled my whole life with problems one is sure to develop when equipped with heighten sensitivity, strong emotions and curious/sharp mind ... a 'killer' combination especially if bestowed on someone from the 'wrong side of the tracks' as in my case. Nevertheless, apart from 'run of the mill' depression and anxiety and the accompanying 'run of the mill' antidepressants ... no other diagnosis/treatment was ever suggested. No self-harm, any substance abuse, and no single thought of suicide despite some major trauma. I know now that all of that was due to certain doormat condition(s) there were never identified because - I was always 'functional' aka - alive enough to be a productively working and obligingly consuming unit. I am 54 now and have lost everything that is possible for a human being to lose … there is nothing left to either fight or live for.
Against that background, some 19 months ago a terrible tragedy devastated me. As soon as I could keep my fingers on a keyboard, I, for the first in my life, embarked on a research with the sole purpose to end my life. I first discovered 'Dignitas' the 'Exit International'. I pay my dues and obtained the information. There is nothing new here ... as long as profit is to be made, level of comfort one is to have on his/her journey to their final destination will depend on the depth of one's pocket.
Once I read about 'N from A' and learned his email address, I emailed him my first introductory email, half thinking that it will be in vain. That was in December 2018, long time before I found this forum. To my surprise he responded within a day, was very polite and helpful. He clearly outlined all the necessary details; what is 'N', how it works, how much to order, cost, including extra cost for the secure currier, risk that it still might get seized at border. I have since seen all those details floating around this forum quite freely too, which is good so that people have correct information. In any case, he also mentioned that I can pay with Bitcoin or cash. Since it was coming close to Christmas time and also because I wanted to test his credibility, we agreed that I will post required cash (US$) disguised inside a book, wrapped up as a Christmas present and posted as such to the address he nominated in MX. I added a nice NZ-made chocolates to it as a final touch! My logic was that if A is any kind of a crook - I will never hear from him again after he pockets my money and that would be the end of that. Admittingly, it was also my way to 'test the fate' ... my logic being - even if 'A' is not a crook, and sends me the real 'N', surely overly-zealous NZ custom will seize it at the border and may even charge me. Instead this is what actually happened: 'A' notified me immediately that he had received the cash. He than carefully packaged 'N' (original, intact bottles only re-labelled) and send them to me. I have received them to my name and home address without a single issue. I do live alone. Was I lucky? Was fate on my side? Yes, and for that I am very grateful.
As for SN … while waiting for 'N' to arrive, and as a back-up method I have searched for a good-quality (99.9% pure) SN which I have obtained easily from a local chemical supply shop that also offers its goods on the local trade portal. Admittingly this was some time before the recent restrictions have been put in place, I hear people here mentioning. That said, I still think that obtaining good-quality SN in NZ is not that difficult.
Anti-emetic like a Metoclopramide is high recommended when using either 'N' or "SN'. Beta blocker such as Inderal is, in some literature, recommended to potentiate 'N' but not necessary as ordinary alcohol does that best. As for the taste of 'N' - I have seen a post on this form that described the taste as; 'not that bad, like mixture of strong alcohol and almonds' and I can confirm that this is accurate even thought I have only tested a tiny amount to not damage my supply.
Hopefully this might help someone.
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