Venting My Work Yesterday

[ixkitty]

My manager told me I'm not carrying my weight. As a Rural Carrier of the post office, I barely ask for help since thr last instance they told me I should just do it and stop expecting help (which I never did). So I've been pulling 13-15 hour days because I stopped asking for help. Now all the others are gone home and enjoying their time, they worked together to get out.. leaving me out there. And now I needed help once since my hiring and I'm not carrying my weight. I broke yesterday.

I Had a mental break down in the bathroom and cried for a good bit. I was the first one to leave the office but still the last one back.. I can't work when people blantly don't like me like that.. my mom says "oh they're jealous" of what though? I suck at the job I'm doing. I've sucked at all the other jobs I've tired.. like what is there to be jealous about.. I keep telling myself I'm too nice for this world.. because I'm ALWAYS getting knocked over by someone and I have yet found the voice to speak up..

I've been told by friends and family that "this world needs someone nice" or "the world needs a good heart like you" but at what cost? Me? Does my pain not matter in this equation? If the world needs someone loke me, wouldn't you protect it like a treasure? Or am I a semi antique thing to be put away in the closet until it's time to show off..

I live with so much fear that I desperately need something to lower my inhibitions so I can finally make that last step. I fear otherwise I will just end up in the mental hospital due to ... "going postal" as they would put it..

 

[tra]

I am sorry that work and life have been taking such a toll on you. In the current work world, being nice sadly often does not pay off and kindness is taken advantage of. It is horrible that even your colleagues are not supporting you. It is not your fault, you are clearly trying hard. Are you able to take time off?

 

[ixkitty]

They don't like for us to take mental health days or any form of time off. They have no problem working us for 1,2, or 3 months straight.. they got upset at me because I wasn't available Friday..

In my position, they want us to be available 24/7

 

[Going Home]

I'm sorry they are treating you that way. I can relate. Feel better.

 

[tra]

They don't like for us to take mental health days or any form of time off. They have no problem working us for 1,2, or 3 months straight.. they got upset at me because I wasn't available Friday..

In my position, they want us to be available 24/7

Even if they do not like it, are you able to take some time off without jeopardizing your job? Also, are you maybe able to get help from a workers union? Are they even allowed to let you work such long hours with barely any time off? It sounds absolutely horrible, I am really sorry.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I've been told by friends and family that "this world needs someone nice" or "the world needs a good heart like you" but at what cost? Me? Does my pain not matter in this equation? If the world needs someone loke me, wouldn't you protect it like a treasure?

I feel this so strongly. We always hear things like "the world needs good hearts" but the world does whatever it can to destroy those hearts. Really, I think the humanity needs to end. We deserve climate change and the inevitable mass extinction event it will bring. We're a horrible, selfish species that extinguishes whatever light emerges.

 

[ixkitty]

I feel this so strongly. We always hear things like "the world needs good hearts" but the world does whatever it can to destroy those hearts. Really, I think the humanity needs to end. We deserve climate change and the inevitable mass extinction event it will bring. We're a horrible, selfish species that extinguishes whatever light emerges.

Yes. Only care after someone is gone for 2 days then they're forgotten. I'm already forgotten. Yes I have a small support group but they can't continuously put their lives on hold every time I have a crisis.

 

[flagmaster]

Oh blimey. I can relate. Work can be hell. I can walk into work with every intent to put on a front and have a good day, only for all my effort to be shot down to pieces when I feel the immediate overwhelming response from others that I am not who they wanted to be there. I feel blanked. I look at others, thinking that perhaps this is just how I'm feeling 'in my head' and I challenge it to look at how other people are treated. I see that other people fit in just fine and build rapport with others quickly. Now I feel excluded, now my self-esteem is battered... now I don't feel of any worth so in that social setting I begin to freeze. I don't want to be seen or noticed but then I feel so lonely. I feel like I'm trapped and unable to express an ounce of myself for the hours I'm clocked in.

This isn't how I want to live my life. So I am working to change...and I've always been working to change. Maybe..just maybe, it's others who need to change? It's others who do not accept people's differences. It's hard.

Unfortunately, other people suck... they are blind to our pain and efforts. I wish I had answers for you but if you can find any comfort in knowing I'm right with you then at least that's something.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Fuck the fuckers.

 

[newave3]

Many jobs such as fast food workers, delivery persons, livery drivers, truck divers and store clerks will be replaced by robots soon. There's an awful lot of workers who will be out of a job because of this.
Looks like the humans left in the workplace will have to become more productive, efficient and speedy. In other words turn themselves into human robots.
Seems there is no place for sensitive, caring humans like the OP and many of us on this site.