My weird situation , how can I avoid ctb?

[noname223]

I am 22. I probably cannot work due to my bipolar disorder. My psychologists gave up on me and said that i will commit suicide due to my unemployment. I really fear poverty because i think this will fuck me up very hard. My parents will give me money for round about 20 years (they are responsible for my bad health). So i have 20 years time somehow getting money. First of all i reduced my outgoings. Nevertheless i cannot imagine how to live with poverty. I am thinking about reselling stuff online.Trying again to work somehow. But it is unlikely that this will work- last time i was quickly fired.
It is a weird feeling. I really want to avoid suicide but this is only possible if i avoid poverty. Sometimes i am feeling unable to do prevent my fate.

 

[Life_and_Death]

what if you tried online surveys? why not try selling stuff online. oh that just reminded me, theres a guy that buy palettes from amazon with a bunch of semi-random stuff, then he resells that. what if you tried that? sell them on kijiji/craigslist or whatever you have where you live. or maybe you have a hobby you can some how sell. like i have fun doing crafts so i might sell a few of those.

 

[noname223]

I tried online surveys. I did not get much money. I am currently trying to sell stuff online. I am thinking about which items can be sold with much profit. Furthermore i want to try teaching. I was really good at school and hope for money with private tuition.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I tried online surveys. I did not get much money. I am currently trying to sell stuff online. I am thinking about which items can be sold with much profit. Furthermore i want to try teaching. I was really good at school and hope for money with private tuition.

teaching sounds fun. what do you want to teach?

 

[BPD Barbie]

Can you not claim welfare from your government if you are not able to work due to health reasons?

 

[Life_and_Death]

Can you not claim welfare from your government if you are not able to work due to health reasons?

i cant speak for other places but here welfare sucks. they dont give you enough money to survive on and if you get a job to pay for the rest then you dont get welfare anymore or tell you to quit. (just stories from husband ive never been on welfare but he knows people that are)

 

[noname223]

teaching sounds fun. what do you want to teach?

I love politics and philosophy. Moreover i like History, Business, German, maybe English and more. But i am Not stable enough in order to go to University and I probably never will be able to Do this. Sadly.

 

[Life_and_Death]

is there maybe some way you can do this on a smaller scale? you can make some money from youtube if you get enough subscribers and theres a bunch of how to videos and what not so they wouldnt be out of place.

 

[noname223]

Welfare really sucks. It is not enough money. Especially if you are dependent on it for the rest of your life. For 1-2 years it is maybe okay. But for 20-30 years it is hell. My other hopes are some friends and my sister. She will probably earn a lot of money. But i do not want to be dependent on her. Moreover it is not sure whether she will really help me. And how much.

is there maybe some way you can do this on a smaller scale? you can make some money from youtube if you get enough subscribers and theres a bunch of how to videos and what not so they wouldnt be out of place.

We have the same ideas. Lol. Last weak i created my first YouTube Video. Now i have 6 Subscribers and 90 people watched the Video. (Who will be the next us president? XD) Soon i will go to a clinic to plan my next steps. Trying New medication and then trying to work okay. But i really appreciate your ideas! ^^

 

[dec132013]

Are you able to see a different doctor? The one you have rn sounds horrible wtf.

Not sure what specifically makes it hard for you to work, but assuming its the people/environment you could always run an online business (e.g etsy, editing photos for people, etc..) Or if you aren't easily grossed out a custodian (school or mall specifically would probably be the least social, especially if its a closing shift)

 

[noname223]

2 psychologists have given up on me. I think they have a special policy if they think a patient will ctb. They treat you worse because you do not appreciate life enough. And patients in the western world are so rich compared to these people in Africa. They claim it was a shame if you ctb because we would be always privileged here. It is crazy shit. It is self-protection of psychologists in order to deal with suicides.
It is very complicated. My relationship with work and performance pressure is very difficult due to my childhood. Work can make me manic and also very depressed. I am searching for any solution that does not fuck me up so hard.

 

[Sensei]

Maybe it's a personal question, but why were you fired?

 

[noname223]

The work made me severly depressed. I am caged in a weird dilemma. If i work at the university i become manic. And in longterm i learn so much and hard that i get a psychosis. If i do a normal (low paid) job this makes me severly depressed. Now i do Experiments what happens if i do this or that. It is likely that nothing will really work out but at least i tried.

 

[Sensei]

The work made me severly depressed. I am caged in a weird dilemma. If i work at the university i become manic. And in longterm i learn so much and hard that i get a psychosis. If i do a normal (low paid) job this makes me severly depressed. Now i do Experiments what happens if i do this or that. It is likely that nothing will really work out but at least i tried.

I see. I'm bipolar myself, so I'm going to be honest with you. The only thing that can save you is medication. There are almost 20 medicines for treating bipolar disorder, so you may have to try many different combinations. Once you find one which works, you'll probably be able to manage employment and studies.

 

[catscradle]

first of all, fuck those psychs and I strongly suggest you report them to whatever governing body you have.
second, are you in the US or elsewhere? my advice is US specific.

 

[noname223]

I see. I'm bipolar myself, so I'm going to be honest with you. The only thing that can save you is medication. There are almost 20 medicines for treating bipolar disorder, so you may have to try many different combinations. Once you find one which works, you'll probably be able to manage employment and studies.

So i think it's good that i will soon go to a clinic. There are drugs which i want to try. Maybe four. I am somehow pessimistic because i see the same dilemma as my psychologist.
Do you have normal periods without mania or depression symptoms? I do Not have these periods it is one reason why i am fucked.
Nevertheless i appreciate your help. :)

first of all, fuck those psychs and I strongly suggest you report them to whatever governing body you have.
second, are you in the US or elsewhere? my advice is US specific.

I live in Germany. Sorry.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Im on the same boat, I tried to CTB because I knew I was heading right into poverty. My therapist said that was the stupidest thing ever, and that the healthy coping mechanism would be to FIGHT AGAINST the poverty. Still, I know Im smart, I know where my shit life is heading.

 

[Sensei]

So i think it's good that i will soon go to a clinic. There are drugs which i want to try. Maybe four. I am somehow pessimistic because i see the same dilemma as my psychologist.

There's no use being pessimistic until you've tried it.

Do you have normal periods without mania or depression symptoms? I do Not have these periods it is one reason why i am fucked.
Nevertheless i appreciate your help. :)

I'm bipolar II so I get hypomania instead of mania. In return, I get deeper and more frequent depressions. For the last three years or so I've had depressive episodes nonstop and they've basically broken me. However, I actually have a neutral period now – I've almost forgotten how that feels – so maybe my medication has started working. We'll see.

 

[noname223]

There's no use being pessimistic until you've tried it.



I'm bipolar II so I get hypomania instead of mania. In return, I get deeper and more frequent depressions. For the last three years or so I've had depressive episodes nonstop and they've basically broken me. However, I actually have a neutral period now – I've almost forgotten how that feels – so maybe my medication has started working. We'll see.

I am Bipolar 2 too. I am depressed since 2 1/2 years. I don't know where this all should end but i keep trying. ^^

 

[Sensei]

I am Bipolar 2 too. I am depressed since 2 1/2 years. I don't know where this all should end but i keep trying. ^^

So we're bipolar siblings?! Then I know what you're going through. It's a pain resembling no other. May I ask, what medicines have you tried so far?

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I have a very similar problem, working can make me very depressed but doing nothing makes me hopeless, financially things aren't great
I feel stuck in an endless circle and it's like carrying a huge burden constantly.

 

[noname223]

So we're bipolar siblings?! Then I know what you're going through. It's a pain resembling no other. May I ask, what medicines have you tried so far?

Due to my psychosis symptoms i tried a lot of neuroleptics. Moreover i tried some antidepressants like venlafaxine, wellbutrin, amitriptilyne. There is still medication that i want to try. For example lamotrigine, tianeptine... etc.
what medication do you take?

 

[Sensei]

Due to my psychosis symptoms i tried a lot of neuroleptics. Moreover i tried some antidepressants like venlafaxine, wellbutrin, amitriptilyne. There is still medication that i want to try. For example lamotrigine, tianeptine... etc.
what medication do you take?

I take mediuim doses of lamotrigine and lithium and a low dose of aripiprazole. Lamotrigine has helped countless of people with bipolar disorder II, so it's definitely worth trying. If possible, avoid taking it in monotherapy, though.

 

[mr.smileysad]

I am 22. I probably cannot work due to my bipolar disorder. My psychologists gave up on me and said that i will commit suicide due to my unemployment. I really fear poverty because i think this will fuck me up very hard. My parents will give me money for round about 20 years (they are responsible for my bad health). So i have 20 years time somehow getting money. First of all i reduced my outgoings. Nevertheless i cannot imagine how to live with poverty. I am thinking about reselling stuff online.Trying again to work somehow. But it is unlikely that this will work- last time i was quickly fired.
It is a weird feeling. I really want to avoid suicide but this is only possible if i avoid poverty. Sometimes i am feeling unable to do prevent my fate.

well homelessness can't be that bad?

 

[alexit]

I am 22. I probably cannot work due to my bipolar disorder. My psychologists gave up on me and said that i will commit suicide due to my unemployment. I really fear poverty because i think this will fuck me up very hard. My parents will give me money for round about 20 years (they are responsible for my bad health). So i have 20 years time somehow getting money. First of all i reduced my outgoings. Nevertheless i cannot imagine how to live with poverty. I am thinking about reselling stuff online.Trying again to work somehow. But it is unlikely that this will work- last time i was quickly fired.
It is a weird feeling. I really want to avoid suicide but this is only possible if i avoid poverty. Sometimes i am feeling unable to do prevent my fate.

I'm unclear about the money from parents. You don't get it for another 20 years or you get for 20 years but it's not enough?

 

[noname223]

I'm unclear about the money from parents. You don't get it for another 20 years or you get for 20 years but it's not enough?

I will get it another 20 years. But then i do not have another income.

I am 22. I probably cannot work due to my bipolar disorder. My psychologists gave up on me and said that i will commit suicide due to my unemployment. I really fear poverty because i think this will fuck me up very hard. My parents will give me money for round about 20 years (they are responsible for my bad health). So i have 20 years time somehow getting money. First of all i reduced my outgoings. Nevertheless i cannot imagine how to live with poverty. I am thinking about reselling stuff online.Trying again to work somehow. But it is unlikely that this will work- last time i was quickly fired.
It is a weird feeling. I really want to avoid suicide but this is only possible if i avoid poverty. Sometimes i am feeling unable to do prevent my fate.

well homelessness can't be that bad?

Well i think it truly is horrible. In my homecountry homelessness is not that common and i might inherit a small apartment. So avoiding that is one big goal. But besides it really sucks to live in poverty. For me it is one big reason to ctb.

I take mediuim doses of lamotrigine and lithium and a low dose of aripiprazole. Lamotrigine has helped countless of people with bipolar disorder II, so it's definitely worth trying. If possible, avoid taking it in monotherapy, though.

Thanks i will try it in hope that it will help. I appreciate your advice!