1lastchance
My feckless existence
- Nov 2, 2021
- 11
All I do is sleep and work. Do chores. Pitch in around the place. My life is misery it feels. I know there's others who would love to have my current circumstances one could argue that I have it made. But I don't deserve this. I don't have any motivation for the future. I feel lost and hopeless. Everyone tells me to just keep going. I do the best I can. But meeting others expectations of me when I don't have any motivation or expectations of myself. I want a heart attack. Im tried of existing. Im exhausted from putting in effort, only to know that Im not meeting anyones needs let alone my own. I barley make progress in my life and it's slow. But it won't mean anything because life keeps happening regardless of how much or little effort I put in. And it all just passes me up. I don't make enough to live alone and those who support me demand energy and strength and motivation from me that I barley have for myself. I want to end. I pray for it to all end because I'm a feckless fool who didn't make the right choices in life and now I'm just a burden to others and to society. The world is turning over to socialism and communism which means that I'll never be able to have a life of my own anyway. Always working as a debt slave for others who are rich and powerful. And what's the point in that? What's the point of any of it? If I have no purpose other than to be a worker ant that can be stepped on at any time. Then why not stamp me out now? The only reason they tell you keep pushing on is because they need worker class peon level people to make a profit for the higher class. We live in a real life hunger games world and the odds are never in my favor. I want this to be over already.