H
heavysoul
don’t want to die, don’t want to live
- Feb 5, 2025
- 23
I'm lucky to have family that supports me in my mental health journey and encourages my recovery, but sometimes the things they say and attitudes they express towards me are so unhelpful. And I know they're just trying their best so it wouldn't be fair to express anger toward them but it's frustrating.
Like, for example, I've been trying to get back on track with my schoolwork after a recent period where I got really depressed and wasn't doing anything. My family has been supportive of me reaching out for help and trying to get better but the other day when I talked to my grandma I had told her that I didn't do anything over the weekend and didn't progress in any of my schoolwork. She was suddenly so disappointed in me and was like "what, so you just wanna give up?" When really it was just one weekend and of course I'm not going to completely recover right away! So that upset me and made me feel bad about myself.
And I feel like oftentimes when I bring up my feelings to my mom she shuts me down and immediately tries to logic me out of my thoughts, and then ask me what coping strategies I can use to shut down my negative thinking. And I know she's trying to help me, but like I've never found an effective coping strategy to diffuse my depressive thoughts beside distracting myself, but the thoughts always come back, especially my suicidal thoughts. I become worried that my thoughts are going to stick with me forever and that maybe they're right.
I'm sorry this turned out to be a rather negative post for the recovery section but I felt like venting.
Like, for example, I've been trying to get back on track with my schoolwork after a recent period where I got really depressed and wasn't doing anything. My family has been supportive of me reaching out for help and trying to get better but the other day when I talked to my grandma I had told her that I didn't do anything over the weekend and didn't progress in any of my schoolwork. She was suddenly so disappointed in me and was like "what, so you just wanna give up?" When really it was just one weekend and of course I'm not going to completely recover right away! So that upset me and made me feel bad about myself.
And I feel like oftentimes when I bring up my feelings to my mom she shuts me down and immediately tries to logic me out of my thoughts, and then ask me what coping strategies I can use to shut down my negative thinking. And I know she's trying to help me, but like I've never found an effective coping strategy to diffuse my depressive thoughts beside distracting myself, but the thoughts always come back, especially my suicidal thoughts. I become worried that my thoughts are going to stick with me forever and that maybe they're right.
I'm sorry this turned out to be a rather negative post for the recovery section but I felt like venting.