fred farkle
Specialist
- Dec 17, 2020
- 346
Hi. I relentlessly think about cbt. Yet I am here,so I guess Im not ready yet. My mother died in 1998. Long story short,I was devestated and really truly wanted to die. I had never felt these type of feelings. It was like a trip to hell. I was 43. So I am pretty old compared to most of you. It was sad to see so many younger people here!
Well,to try and save my soul and exit Hell,I turned to an old friend I had only talked to sporadicallyover the yezrs. She saved me. She gave me back life! It was so good to,albeit slowly, get out of hell.
We have been friends since then. She was on many meds incl klonazapam and celexa. Powerful stuff.
She died of heart failure in 2019. I am right back in hell,on a deeper level than before. I am overwhelmed by how I miss her,and love her and regret so much I wasnt a better man to her. Its only amatter of time til I cbt,I think.
So,life ishell. I wish I could go back and change. Hope God has some mercy on me.
To you younger people,losing someone you love is the worst. Imean if they die. You cant change it!!! But if you have not faced the deathof a loved one,maybe you CAN change your situation? Where is life is hope. Death =hopeless. I dont know,just me two cents! I hope I can work up the guts to ctb and die an honorable death.
Well,to try and save my soul and exit Hell,I turned to an old friend I had only talked to sporadicallyover the yezrs. She saved me. She gave me back life! It was so good to,albeit slowly, get out of hell.
We have been friends since then. She was on many meds incl klonazapam and celexa. Powerful stuff.
She died of heart failure in 2019. I am right back in hell,on a deeper level than before. I am overwhelmed by how I miss her,and love her and regret so much I wasnt a better man to her. Its only amatter of time til I cbt,I think.
So,life ishell. I wish I could go back and change. Hope God has some mercy on me.
To you younger people,losing someone you love is the worst. Imean if they die. You cant change it!!! But if you have not faced the deathof a loved one,maybe you CAN change your situation? Where is life is hope. Death =hopeless. I dont know,just me two cents! I hope I can work up the guts to ctb and die an honorable death.
