B

Brainpain

chronic pain
Jun 14, 2019
106
Like the title says. They know I'm in chronic pain and probably can't work anymore soon. They don't want a deadbeat spouse (who does?). They say whatever you wanna do go for it. They love me but know how much my health issues have destroyed me. How do I test the waters to see if this is a trap? Should I build up by taking a couple random trips and seeing if they send the cops after me, etc. I will require at least a full night out of the city, probably a hotel, for my method to work. I don't exactly disappear on trips like that now.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
How in-depth have your talks with them been? Mine took a while to process the concept but he knows it's consistent with my philosophy and has simmered down. I think it's good to sometimes bring it up unexpectedly in casual conversation, to make sure they don't run out of the room with their hands over their ears like mine used to. There are actually guides on line for how to discuss these things with people close to us.
 
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B

Brainpain

chronic pain
Jun 14, 2019
106
Well over the years the talks have come from an angry frustrated place to a calm one in casual conversation. I think my SO may even truly believe I have a method, I brought it up jokingly then less jokingly as time went on. And they have casually mentioned they know I have something. They don't seem to want me in a psych ward on suicide watch though as they know how inefficient that is.
 
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The Mute Viking

The Mute Viking

α †⊕r†⊕urεd p⊕ε†
Oct 10, 2018
202
That's a mixed bag of fuck.
He shouldn't ever encourage it, but accepting it as a possibility is different.
That sounds like a tough situation, maybe he can try other things to get you help?

I don't know, when its your time to go, it's pretty ready to accept it on all fronts
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
Well over the years the talks have come from an angry frustrated place to a calm one in casual conversation. I think my SO may even truly believe I have a method, I brought it up jokingly then less jokingly as time went on. And they have casually mentioned they know I have something. They don't seem to want me in a psych ward on suicide watch though as they know how inefficient that is.

I would try a round of serious talks about it in that case. "Testing" him by going away seems to show a lack of trust in an area where trust seems ultra important. Do you have an advance directive? Does he? Maybe filling them out together would be a good starting point.
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
How horrible to share a life with someone but to be unsure if you can trust them with your death.
Good luck.
 
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kerolox

kerolox

Member
Jul 5, 2019
54
I wouldn't trust anyone, no one knows for sure how they will act in a situation like that. Also for their own protection to avoid accusations of enablement they should not be put in any position where they could have called the cops on you.
 
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B

Brainpain

chronic pain
Jun 14, 2019
106
I wouldn't trust anyone, no one knows for sure how they will act in a situation like that. Also for their own protection to avoid accusations of enablement they should not be put in any position where they could have called the cops on you.
Yes I don't want them to somehow be "responsible". I would have to find a way that would absolve all responsibility. This is a tough situation. One that would be so much easier if we could end things first.
That's a mixed bag of fuck.
He shouldn't ever encourage it, but accepting it as a possibility is different.
That sounds like a tough situation, maybe he can try other things to get you help?

I don't know, when its your time to go, it's pretty ready to accept it on all fronts
Yes he has tried everything to help me, it eats him alive as my ailments have no cure and he can't stand to see me in pain. He admits he wants me around for his own selfish reasons but doesn't blame me for wanting out of this existence.
I don't know when I'm ready to go, I feel as though I am. But this is the one major dilemma.
 
Last edited:
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The Mute Viking

The Mute Viking

α †⊕r†⊕urεd p⊕ε†
Oct 10, 2018
202
I have/am, experiencing a bit of that same thing with my ex-fiancee.

Resonates with me. The struggle is too fucking real. But be sure, to always stay or leave based off what you think is best.
Who knows what lays behind the thick viel of life.
 

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