My Sn is here, my brain and hearth are burning, I have no one

[Yassa122]

I take sertraline and wellbutrin for 8 years now, I am 22, I have depression and suicide thoughts since 8 :D

Because of an operation I did not take my antidepressants for 2 days and I am in hell right now.

Therapy did not work

I tried to open to my parents today for the first time sincd years it did not work

I have nobody
Nobody likes me
No girl
No guy friends
I never had a girlfriend
I am stupid, I constantly fail

I tried everything with a good hearth to belong somewhere, to get a girl, to get a social circle, to have
something

The only thing that I have is food

I have constantls pain since 8 years
I wish someone had just kill me there
I wish some murder or pedophile would just have kill me, I never would have 14 years pain and even more
I don't know where I could communicate, I just type here if it is okay

I am crying right nos

My Sn is here, but my parents too

I said my therapist I don't want it anymore, she also almost cryed. She often almost cryed as I spokeMy teachers had always saw my sadness and talked about that
I just wish someone of them had killed me

Why am I here?
I was isolated from 8 to 22, I am a social cripple, how could any doctor at this planet help me?

I will try another therapy and other changes, I will give me 1 to 2 years, to find a girlfriend, to find friends, to gain self confidence, to not be WEIRD AND CREEPY AND SOCIALY RETARTRD
To just be happy

If it does not work
I have my ticket out

THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPURTUNITY

 

[Captive of Mind]

Holy shit, man. My heart goes out to you. This life is not fair and I could tell your suffering is immense. It is honorable of you to want to leave so badly, but instead you choose to stay and fight. In today's world, there are many tools you could use to improve all of the things wrong with your life or at least learn how to deal with them. As long as you see life worth living, you should put in as much effort as possible.

Sending you love. I hope you find a way to make things better.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I feel like I'm considered weird and creepy too!

 

[BLUE1970]

I am weird and somewhat creepy, it sets me apart from others but I'm comfortable with that. Have always been an outlier.

 

[Ghost2211]

My heart goes out to you. There's so much sadness in your post. I'm very sorry life has brought into this point. Sending you so many hugs.

 

[BrokenAlien]

I take sertraline and wellbutrin for 8 years now, I am 22, I have depression and suicide thoughts since 8 :D

Because of an operation I did not take my antidepressants for 2 days and I am in hell right now.

Therapy did not work

I tried to open to my parents today for the first time sincd years it did not work

I have nobody
Nobody likes me
No girl
No guy friends
I never had a girlfriend
I am stupid, I constantly fail

I tried everything with a good hearth to belong somewhere, to get a girl, to get a social circle, to have
something

The only thing that I have is food

I have constantls pain since 8 years
I wish someone had just kill me there
I wish some murder or pedophile would just have kill me, I never would have 14 years pain and even more
I don't know where I could communicate, I just type here if it is okay

I am crying right nos

My Sn is here, but my parents too

I said my therapist I don't want it anymore, she also almost cryed. She often almost cryed as I spokeMy teachers had always saw my sadness and talked about that
I just wish someone of them had killed me

Why am I here?
I was isolated from 8 to 22, I am a social cripple, how could any doctor at this planet help me?

I will try another therapy and other changes, I will give me 1 to 2 years, to find a girlfriend, to find friends, to gain self confidence, to not be WEIRD AND CREEPY AND SOCIALY RETARTRD
To just be happy

If it does not work
I have my ticket out

THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPURTUNITY

I understand, I feel like ever since I could remember I was a sad and anxious kid. And it made it hard to connect with people. It feels almost like if life is a movie I'm playing out a tragedy. Sucks to feel like destiny is pain. I'm on a similar page of feeling resigned to the option. I think that something to keep in mind is medication changes can affect you very hard for a while, whether going on or off of them. It makes sense to be really really low with that sudden change. I also struggle with social anxiety so I know the feeling. Give yourself time, give yourself opportunities to succeed when you can. You're loved.