Venting my SN has arrived... scared and excited.

[bpdme]

I received my SN in the post today, when I first saw it I started laughing and smiling. Now I'm scared and everything has become very real. I don't really know what to make of everything at the minute. I was going to take it on Monday but now it's here, what's stopping me from taking it now? Should I write notes? My brain is all over the place. I can't believe it actually had to come to this after years of half-arsed attempts, numerous tries to get better, and using suicide as escapism. Now it's my reality that I'm serious about. It'll be so weird that I may not be on this Earth next week or even tomorrow. I can't wait to escape from the mind that limits me so much. I really feel like I'm destined for more than something that is this life but I'm sure it'll just be nothingness in the end. I've lurked this forum since the beginning and so glad I recently made an account and seen so much kindness in one community. I am such an indecisive person. Do I go to my job interview tomorrow if I'm going to actually end it? It's nice to have the option there I guess.

Sorry for the rambling...

 

[Daniela]

Hello, may I ask
1. where are you from
2. where is your vendor from (please feel free to PM me if you prefer)
3. how long did you have to wait
4. Did it come in a plastic bag or a plastic box?
Thanks
(Feel free to reply when you're calmer - even via PM - or not at all...)
Best wishes

 

[Neverod]

Don't be sorry, your position it's understandable, that's a lot of pressure. Just be sure to take the time to do it correctly, if you are going to use meto, do the regimen, if not, wait for a day when you will be alone for some time, don't rush and everything will go smooth!

 

[Neverod]

Thank you for understanding and the reassurance. Like the impulsive person I am, I'm just going to fast and drink more if I vomit and will be in a place I won't be found. I'll try not to rush and start getting more prepared!

Good to hear that! I would like for you to take meto, but do it the way you are more comfortable with. Best of luck, make sure to say goodbye if you wish to.

 

[Stan]

Happy for you. My advice is to get a pen and paper and just list the things you think you need to do. It certainly helped me prepare.

 

[trynacbt]

Happy for you. My advice is to get a pen and paper and just list the things you think you need to do. It certainly helped me prepare.

Or do it on your phone if you live with others who might see

 

[Stan]

Or do it on your phone if you live with others who might see

I am old, I still remember how to use a pen as opposed to just tapping my thumbs on a screen lol

 

[CrushedHopes]

Hello, may I ask
1. where are you from
2. where is your vendor from (please feel free to PM me if you prefer)
3. how long did you have to wait
4. Did it come in a plastic bag or a plastic box?

Okay, I just want to ask - why are you always asking these questions? I understand asking what someone's CTB method is, but don't you think these are rather personal and invasive questions? I saw you doing it for a couple of times already.

 

[bigj75]

it's really up to you. some people take this as an opportunity to go all out in life for a little longer. that's what im doing. I'm working hard and enjoying the finer things first before I ctb. but if you want to go asap that's fine too.

 

[bigj75]

Good for you! Hope you enjoy yourself and have some amazing experiences. I think I just want to get it over with. I'm experiencing unemployment at the moment so can't work hard and in a limbo.

Oh damn. I feel for you. Peace be with you.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

My SN is in the post office, I am going to get it as soon as I receive the notice