My SN reached finally, sealed and no warns in the box so nothing suspicious. I'm so happy. I will start fasting today in preparation. I'm hoping to do it tomorrow night after 24 hours+ fasting. Late at night when everyone is sleeping.
I'm crying because I wish things could have been different. That I could be different. That I wasn't born with autism and maybe things could have been different but maybe not seeing how many people are unhappy even so things would be the same, I would still be anxious and depressed even if I could be "normal". There is no guarantee that I would be happy if I wasn't autistic. It's probably the SI kicking in. I am not and I could never be different.
But at the same time, I'm happy and relieved. I hope it can be peaceful and quickly and that I don't throw up. As I said in other topics I have a very weak digestive system and sometimes throw up even water.
How can I have a detail of one of my post edits by the mods? I just think is too much a personal thing and I told someone and don't want to leave anything behind that could give up my identity. I'm erasing every memory of me.
Also, this might a silly question but how can I measure 25g to put in each cup properly?
Thank you so much for this forum because otherwise, I would have chosen a so much more painful method. It helped me when I was feeling the worst and could open up to anyone else. At least here I could be myself. I got more love here than my entire life after my parent's death.
I'm crying because I wish things could have been different. That I could be different. That I wasn't born with autism and maybe things could have been different but maybe not seeing how many people are unhappy even so things would be the same, I would still be anxious and depressed even if I could be "normal". There is no guarantee that I would be happy if I wasn't autistic. It's probably the SI kicking in. I am not and I could never be different.
But at the same time, I'm happy and relieved. I hope it can be peaceful and quickly and that I don't throw up. As I said in other topics I have a very weak digestive system and sometimes throw up even water.
How can I have a detail of one of my post edits by the mods? I just think is too much a personal thing and I told someone and don't want to leave anything behind that could give up my identity. I'm erasing every memory of me.
Also, this might a silly question but how can I measure 25g to put in each cup properly?
Thank you so much for this forum because otherwise, I would have chosen a so much more painful method. It helped me when I was feeling the worst and could open up to anyone else. At least here I could be myself. I got more love here than my entire life after my parent's death.
