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barelyalive

barelyalive

Member
Jun 12, 2019
23
And now I feel even more trapped that I did before. Because now, what am I supposed to do? Have one kid in the hospital for an attempt, and another one ctb within the same week??? Im annoyed and upset and just need someone to share with
 
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been_there

been_there

Life cares only for itself.
Jun 5, 2019
297
Share away. What happened with your sister?
 
W

WaterUnder

Student
Apr 27, 2019
197
My brother attempted last year. I had similar feelings. I felt sympathy, resentment, relief.

Was your sister's attempt well thought out or an impulsive act?
 
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barelyalive

barelyalive

Member
Jun 12, 2019
23
My brother attempted last year. I had similar feelings. I felt sympathy, resentment, relief.

Was your sister's attempt well thought out or an impulsive act?

It was impulsive and honestly idk if she was serious or not. She slit her wrists then called 911 freaking out.
Share away. What happened with your sister?


She locked herself in the bathroom, slit her wrists, then called 911. But now I feel like I can't CTB anytime soon like I was planning.
 
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WaterUnder

Student
Apr 27, 2019
197
@barelyalive my brother's attempt was impulsive as well.

This is going to be a confusing time for you, deciding what, if anything you want to share. Obviously, your sister needs your support right now. It's clear that she wants to live.

Your self care is crucial right now. You may be able to learn from her experience. Maybe therapy will help you both.

If you are not already in therapy, this would be a good time to ask for it.
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,920
I actually think you are kind of "lucky" in a way because maybe you can all ctb together it would be kind of beautiful leaving life sorrounded by the people you love well knowing all of your sufferings will end together.
 
barelyalive

barelyalive

Member
Jun 12, 2019
23
@barelyalive my brother's attempt was impulsive as well.

This is going to be a confusing time for you, deciding what, if anything you want to share. Obviously, your sister needs your support right now. It's clear that she wants to live.

Your self care is crucial right now. You may be able to learn from her experience. Maybe therapy will help you both.

If you are not already in therapy, this would be a good time to ask for it.

I'm just angry. I don't think she needs my support. We don't talk much. I know she wants to live, I think it was a cry for help, but I dont know. I am in therapy, I actually have two therapists.
 
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been_there

been_there

Life cares only for itself.
Jun 5, 2019
297
That has to be so difficult to deal with, after your friend and with your own thoughts. You don't have to put any pressure of supporting her on yourself while you are struggling. I imagine you're feeling angry because she is not supporting you while you are having a difficult time. Are your parents involved?
 
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barelyalive

barelyalive

Member
Jun 12, 2019
23
That has to be so difficult to deal with, after your friend and with your own thoughts. You don't have to put any pressure of supporting her on yourself while you are struggling. I imagine you're feeling angry because she is not supporting you while you are having a difficult time. Are your parents involved?

Parents divorced- she was born to his second wife. She's the golden child, the one he always wanted. So of course now everything is about her- I mean that's not any different from how it is normally. I sound so fucking stupid. Im supposed to go see them in July but I dont know if i can.
 
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been_there

been_there

Life cares only for itself.
Jun 5, 2019
297
You don't sound stupid at all, its completely understandable. If you're under pressure from family to say you'll go in July, just tell them you are and decide later. Meanwhile concentrate on your own situation with your therapist and meds and anything that helps you.

Don't dwell on your sister's situation. Try not to feel resentment towards her, although I can see why you feel angry. Everyone has their own issues but its OK for you not to have emotional space for her in your current situation.
 
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WaterUnder

Student
Apr 27, 2019
197
I'm just angry. I don't think she needs my support. We don't talk much. I know she wants to live, I think it was a cry for help, but I dont know. I am in therapy, I actually have two therapists.
I understand the anger. My brother swallowed a bottle of pills and then called the cops. It would not have ended his life. I love my brother and am glad he got help. Sharing a common upbringing, we can sometimes help each other with context, but our walks through life are very different.
A cry for help is a cry. It should be heeded. Maybe let her know you're glad she's alive.
 
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been_there

been_there

Life cares only for itself.
Jun 5, 2019
297
Maybe let her know you're glad she's alive.

Yeah, that's good advice from @WaterUnder. On a card if its easier than talking. And then don't dwell on it, do something good for yourself.

@barelyalive I have to go now, but feel free to pm me if you want.
 
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Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
876
And now I feel even more trapped that I did before. Because now, what am I supposed to do? Have one kid in the hospital for an attempt, and another one ctb within the same week??? Im annoyed and upset and just need someone to share with
i am sorry for your sister.. i can understand how stressful it can be.
there was a time in my life .. i was too paranoid of many things, i was afraid that someone i know would ctb before me , i know how this sounds.. but, i used to live day by day literally.. hoping my supplies would arrive the next day that i could go. I tried to be very patient with myself at that time.. i can only suggest to just hang on for a while patiently.
 

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