A lot really. I feel like I'm a pretty shitty person and no one really wants or cares about me. There was a situation that involves my best friend and a girl I really liked and she chose him because he had a better personality I guess. It kinda made me really insecure about myself. Not only that, but I kinda ruined all my relationships with everyone because of my other life choices. I was diagnosed with autism as a child and I think that played a role into my poor life decisions. But anyways, I chose shango because I've used that username since i was a child on runescape lol. But that's neither here nor there.
Ah. I am a daughter of Oshun, so I thought it was Santaria related.
You don't know me, but you are not a shitty person and I care. I do know what it is like to feel that way. I don't have a best friend. I have never had friends, and I have not had a boyfriend (I am a female) since 1999 lol. So I do understand.
People choose things for many reasons. It may have nothing to do with personality. Chemistry is chemistry. You have it or you don't. Nothing wrong with you. I am sure you are great. Sometimes, you just like somebody as a friend.
We have all made poor life decisions, and do not have autistic to deal with.
I am not trying to stop you. It isn't my place. I just want you to make sure it isn't a spur of the moment thing, and know. There are people on this forum who do understand how you feel. We have been there.... and we care :) <3
Sometimes it is good just to hear from somebody that we care about you, and you matter.