My recovery story and my suggestion

[EssenceFocus]

I really, really want to write this. And if I can help only person from all of you, then this thread was successful.
I am honest. I am for the most part recovered. I came here in September, because I was way to occupied with my own problems and I sometimes thought a bit about ctb for various reasons. I totally forgot my former handling with problems, I lost myself.
I reevaluated what I really want in life. Nothing in my situation changed. Every "problem" is still the same. But I have finally changed my perception of this so called problems.
In some months I will start working part-time and I am looking forward very much, I am looking for an appartment, but all the other things didn't change.

I stood infront of the choice. Do I want to kill myself because of all these problems. Or do I want to go the hard way and accept them how they are? When you accept your life at it is now and don't fight it, you will be way more relaxed. Indeed I feel more energetic than in the last months. I have big dreams and hopes and I am looking forward to the next years and decades extremely.
I have never had a conversation with a therapist, I "cured" myself, only with how I view my life, what I really want.

I learned that everyone can recover if they choose to do so. Some people may feel upset about this sentence, because they are trying and trying. But the solution is in your head. Nothing in the outside will really help you. You all know how long some people are suffering and have ctb thoughts. I have read so many threads about people having no solution for many, many years. When no therapist can cure you or can vanish your problem after many tries, then maybe you will have to look for something different.
If only everyone could know how perfect you are. Nobody has to reach a specific goal, nobody must have a perfect job, a partner, many friends. There is no need for perfection and accomplishment, as everyone is already accomplished.
Many people feel like they are too dumb to live life and other people are way better. Or they didn't grow up.
You shouldn't compare yourself with other people. There is no need to have experienced this or that at this age. There is no checklist, that, if not fullfilled, says that you failed life.
Everything you experience in life is exactly what you wanted from your soul.
Now some people make a jump and say:"Not this again!"
You are way bigger, than you think about, an unlimited god-like being and only wanted to experience life.

Every problem in life has happened for you to grow stronger from it. Every depression comes from your mind. Not the chemical imbalance induces depression, it's the other way. When you feel negative, your body follows and changes it chemical composition. Medications seems to help you, despite the many side-effects. But they only cover up the symptoms.
The mental problems are still there.

Don't wait for the outside to change. It probably won't change. If some problem vanishes, another one will show up, I have enough experience in that, too.
BUT the moment you really accept your problem, the moment you really stop fighting it in your mind all the time, this is the moment where possibilities will open up. A negative state of being will attract negative things. This can lead to a vicious circle. But the moment you STOP paying attention to your problems, the energy is getting free. The problems won't vanish suddenly, but if you practice this state of mind, then possible solutions may appear, even if you didn't think they will ever.

The situation of so many people in our world suffering, will increase more and more. If you continue your life, then one day you will understand why you have suffered. You will toughen and may help other people, who are going trough the same experiences. Every person on earth and the whole collective of humans will arise like a butterfly and let go of the old belief systems and fears. That's what happening to everyone alive on earth sooner or later. You are affected from this process right know. That's the reason you are living in this time of 2020. The process won't stop, it will go on further and further. The more you fight against your problems, the bigger they get, until you collapse and give up fighting the problems or you will ctb. The reason, most people can't imagine a bright future without negativity is, because most people are still affected by negativity by themselves. They see negativity everywhere, every day. But once you overcome your problems, accept them, let go of your old belief systems, then you may stand up and be a lighthouse for everyone else and other people may follow. It will be like a cascade, more and more people will wake up and suddenly everyone has shifted for perception.
Corona is only a tool to accelerate this process now and this shift in consciousness won't stop.
If you tried everything possible and you are right before going to ctb, then think about that and try to see your life differently. Simply relax. You don't have to achieve anything. Let go of your control in life, then you are within the flow of your soul. Only this will truly help you, if nothing other is helping .
Stand up, let go of the fighting and be a lighthouse in the darkness. There is no hateful god against you. It's everything in your perception and if you let loose your soul will lead you. Don't follow your fears, accept them as a part of you, but you have always the choice not to follow them.
If you overcome your problems, then the near future will have wonderful, unimaginable things for you, experiences that are very different from your daily life.
I chose not to follow my fears. I accept my problems now. I want to experience the very bright future of humanity.

Everyone on earth will have to let go of their problems sooner or later in the next very few decades. Either you will die because of suicide, diseases or accidents, OR you will simply choose to shift your perception. "And why?": Because the problems with your mental health will get more and more difficult until you are forced to suicide or to try something different, because you can't stand this anymore.
Sometimes I forgot this, too and I was in a very bad state. But everything can change in a second.

If I could, I would send hugs to everyone of you to encourage you.
Maybe it won't mean much to you, because this are only words, but if I could explain you, how loved you are from your own soul and so many other beings. You have so much potential.
You are simply in the process to find back to yourself, to your natural state of mind, which is very difficult.
Imagine, how should humanity be able to have phyiscal contact to other civilizations, who are already waiting for us to wake up? How should we all advance so much, that we invent teleportation to other galaxies or to visit other dimensions in our mind? How should this be possible in the near future, when we aren't shifting our consciousness to a more satisfying, positive, expanded state of mind?

Regardles what happens in your life or what happens in the world, your mind can be solid and you can get trough everything, if you actively choose to do so.
It's your free will to choose. If you want, you can leave life, it's nothing negative, it's simply a choice. Or you will do the most difficult thing, stay in the moment, accept your situation, don't have fear of the future. Simply be in the now and everything can change.

Now I still have to work in the hospital in an uninteresting job, don't have a partner, real friends and many other things, but I have a giant hope and I know that everything will change to the better and I am not exhausted anymore. My months long headache has gone away and I am not so tired always anymore.
I love you

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

You are kidding, right? This has made me so angry, you have NO CLUE! And no right to tell anybody that they can solve their own mental health issues by changing their perspective.

If I weren't a Lady, I would say something very unLadylike. Like a strong suggestion of a place you may want to visit and fun things to do when you get there.

Have a nice day.

 

[EssenceFocus]

You are kidding, right? This has made me so angry, you have NO CLUE! And no right to tell anybody that they can solve their own mental health issues by changing their perspective.

If I weren't a Lady, I would tell you to go fuck yourself.

I knew exactly that my thread may upset some people. You can ignore my thoughts if you wish. It's only what I learned and experienced on my own

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

Yet you talk like we can all do what you did if we just try. You said things that you knew would upset people who are already at the end of their ropes!

Where is my gun! You make me want to kill myself right now!

If I do, know you pushed me over the line.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well, I'm happy it worked for you. I personally don't think it would work for me or many others around here but to each their own.

In my case, I'm fairly sure that maybe I physically could do the same however, the mental block is just far too high for me to even hope to surpass. I know that my issues can't really be solved by any external help or medication. I know that all of that has to come from within, from myself and only myself.

The problem is that I also know that myself is such an inconsiderate, intolerant, unmoving asshole that there's no way he will ever agree to it until all of his needy terms and conditions are met, which they never will because they are rooted in fantasy and ultimately impossible. Even though myself knows this, I just can't take any more heavy pain or discomfort which would inevitably increase exponentially the longer I stay alive and thus I see no other way out. Again, good for you that you were able to break out of whatever pit you feel you trapped yourself in. Take care to not fall back in if you can but I just don't think there's much hope left for me...

 

[LittleJem]

I'm feeling pretty homeless atm and while things could be worse, I don't know where I will live next and need to move this week.
I lost my marriage and my house due to mental illness.
I"m estranged from half my family as they are abusive and I couldn't handle it anymore.
I'm just tired.
None of this stuff changes and none of it can be changed.
I'm really sad cos I need to leave where I'm living this weekend.
I'm feeling pretty lonely.
Be in the now - I'm working on something but it's really difficult and taking me hours and I don't know if I can do it.
Hope for the future - I am getting older and my life is shrinking. Everyone I trusted nearly wasn't trustworthy. I need to start all over again.

 

[EssenceFocus]

Well, I'm happy it worked for you. I personally don't think it would work for me or many others around here but to each their own.

In my case, I'm fairly sure that maybe I physically could do the same however, the mental block is just far too high for me to even hope to surpass. I know that my issues can't really be solved by any external help or medication. I know that all of that has to come from within, from myself and only myself.

The problem is that I also know that myself is such an inconsiderate, intolerant, unmoving asshole that there's no way he will ever agree to it until all of his needy terms and conditions are met, which they never will because they are rooted in fantasy and ultimately impossible. Even though myself knows this, I just can't take any more heavy pain or discomfort which would inevitably increase exponentially the longer I stay alive and thus I see no other way out. Again, good for you that you were able to break out of whatever pit you feel you trapped yourself in. Take care to not fall back in if you can but I just don't think there's much hope left for me...

I thought very bad things about me, too. I hated myself and that it is impossible to solve some of the problems.
It is very difficult, I tried this many times in the last months and often fell back into my behaviour.

It's just my very different point of view to life, which is based from my knowledge in spirituality. It's strange, but it can be one method.
People in this forum have most of the time nothing to loose, so it is just an advice. If it doesn't seem to work, it doesn't work.

Yet you talk like we can all do what you did if we just try. You said things that you knew would upset people who are already at the end of their ropes!

Where is my gun! You make me want to kill myself right now!

If I do, know you pushed me over the line.

As I said, it is a method. You can try it or not. Maybe a therapy helps, maybe something different.
People who are completely hopeless may seek for more help, more possibilities to end their suffering.
My knowlege doesn't come from myself, it is what I learned from many different channeled sources from all other the world. You don't have to believe in spirituality, but I do and many people, too. Even if I can bring one person to a new thought, I am happy.

 

[VivaldiBR]

Rationally, a lot of people know those things you said. The problem is to transform this into something emotionally. This is hardest part for me. Its a daily practice; you need to change a perspective that you had your entirely life. So its a difficult task. Im searching for help and im being honest with everyone close to me about my ctb idealization. I made some movements to recovery, but yet i didnt see any progress. Hope im wrong.

 

[EssenceFocus]

I'm feeling pretty homeless atm and while things could be worse, I don't know where I will live next and need to move this week.
I lost my marriage and my house due to mental illness.
I"m estranged from half my family as they are abusive and I couldn't handle it anymore.
I'm just tired.
None of this stuff changes and none of it can be changed.
I'm really sad cos I need to leave where I'm living this weekend.
I'm feeling pretty lonely.
Be in the now - I'm working on something but it's really difficult and taking me hours and I don't know if I can do it.
Hope for the future - I am getting older and my life is shrinking. Everyone I trusted nearly wasn't trustworthy. I need to start all over again.

I would love to give you a practical advice, but I can't. Sometimes I thought about starting all over again by moving away, too. I didn't chose this option, but then my objective situation won't necessarily better, but simply different. You could try it if you wish.

Rationally, a lot of people know those things you said. The problem is to transform this into something emotionally. This is hardest part for me. Its a daily practice; you need to change a perspective that you had your entirely life. So its a difficult task. Im searching for help and im being honest with everyone close to me about my ctb idealization. I made some movements to recovery, but yet i didnt see any progress. Hope im wrong.

Exactly, this is the problem. Rationally these concept may sound good, but living like this is very dificult. It took me many years and I fell back into my old behaviour very often.
These concepts are basically known world-wide, most famous among religions like buddhism, but many, many other cultures or groups, not only religions. I have always thought, this won't work for me, these people sit on their ivory tower and preach all this things. Some days ago it really made click in me and suddenly everything has changed in my mind.

For years I was used to the depression, it was normal for me, so I often didn't really noticed that I am depressive. Many difficult things, that happened in my today life reflected how I feel in my head. Sometimes I made recovery steps, too but they often only lasted for some hours or so.
The logical head understands new information way quicker, than the emotional system, it may take a long time. And I would say, staying in your general mood, you were in for years is easier than changing your whole perspective, because you are familar with your yourself in your negative state.


I stopped waiting for the my outside environment to change. I waited for years and nothing has changed.
Think what you want about statements about the most probable future, but after corona the earth won't go back to it's old state. Corona was only the beginning and our outside life will get more and more difficult, as it is reflecting the state of mind of everyone, so simply waiting may not help everyone. More and more emotions or problems may arise from the depths of our mind. The future is laying in our consciousness.
Before something completely new and wonderful can emerge, the old behaviours and belief systems have to be threated. That's what happening with everyone here and everyone in the world. And I won't stand still and be quiet about that, because of a few people attacking me personally. If everyone would always follow the masses, then the church would still rule all of us and the earth would be flat and in the middle of the universe.

Today I heard from my workplace, that there will be some new actions for the personnel, that will make everything more exhausting, I could go back to my old behaviour and fight against it and be upset about that or even resign, but I chose not to do so. And now, I am more relaxed again.
I will probably leave this site, as alternative forms of recovery aren't really welcomed as it seems. I don't know when, yet. I still wish everyone the best, even the persons who attack me, I still understand you

 

[Deleted member 1465]

In certain circumstances I'd agree with you, up to a point. It's certainly been my own personal experience of things. I shifted my perspective, became more realistic and tried to accept and live with things rather than expect someone to perform a miracle to help me out.
However, I certainly wasn't in that position last year. I was abandoned and dying. I was lucky to find a core of anger and stubbornness that would not accept this and fought to advocate for myself when no one else would. I did, however, have certain circumstances on my side. And people on here helped me, gave me focus, showed their pride in my actions.
That's not always the case for everyone. Some situations are extremely unlikely to change, even with a change of perspective.
That doesn't mean it's impossible, just very unlikely. I've seen and known people on here for which that is or has been the case. They lost their fight and I can't say I would have done any better in their place.
I can, as ever, only speak to my own experience but that experience does not allow me to understand the circumstances of another, or how profoundly it affects them. Or indeed how long they have suffered.

I could go back to my old behaviour and fight against it and be upset about that or even resign, but I chose not to do so. And now, I am more relaxed again.

We have no choice but accept what we can't change, even as we do our best to change it against the odds. If we seek to recover. The alternative is suicide and for some, that is the path they choose to take.

I will probably leave this site, as alternative forms of recovery aren't really welcomed as it seems. I don't know when, yet. I still wish everyone the best, even the persons who attack me, I still understand you

It's difficult, yes. It's a site that discusses suicide and is always going to have an inherent bias towards that way of dealing with things. Otherwise the site would not exist as it does. It's like a double sided coin.
The recovery section is here, but will always be smaller than the main section. That doesn't make it less valid and I've seen a lot of people come here and make that first post that is a kind of informal commitment to the process. That's the thing with choice, it can go either way. Otherwise it would be worthless.
Some people make the choice to try and recover rather than end their lives, whilst others often have circumstances that are beyond their control. Everyone has their limits and everyone baulks under torture eventually.

I hope you don't leave the site.

 

[VivaldiBR]

I would love to give you a practical advice, but I can't. Sometimes I thought about starting all over again by moving away, too. I didn't chose this option, but then my objective situation won't necessarily better, but simply different. You could try it if you wish.




Exactly, this is the problem. Rationally these concept may sound good, but living like this is very dificult. It took me many years and I fell back into my old behaviour very often.
These concepts are basically known world-wide, most famous among religions like buddhism, but many, many other cultures or groups, not only religions. I have always thought, this won't work for me, these people sit on their ivory tower and preach all this things. Some days ago it really made click in me and suddenly everything has changed in my mind.

For years I was used to the depression, it was normal for me, so I often didn't really noticed that I am depressive. Many difficult things, that happened in my today life reflected how I feel in my head. Sometimes I made recovery steps, too but they often only lasted for some hours or so.
The logical head understands new information way quicker, than the emotional system, it may take a long time. And I would say, staying in your general mood, you were in for years is easier than changing your whole perspective, because you are familar with your yourself in your negative state.


I stopped waiting for the my outside environment to change. I waited for years and nothing has changed.
Think what you want about statements about the most probable future, but after corona the earth won't go back to it's old state. Corona was only the beginning and our outside life will get more and more difficult, as it is reflecting the state of mind of everyone, so simply waiting may not help everyone. More and more emotions or problems may arise from the depths of our mind. The future is laying in our consciousness.
Before something completely new and wonderful can emerge, the old behaviours and belief systems have to be threated. That's what happening with everyone here and everyone in the world. And I won't stand still and be quiet about that, because of a few people attacking me personally. If everyone would always follow the masses, then the church would still rule all of us and the earth would be flat and in the middle of the universe.

Today I heard from my workplace, that there will be some new actions for the personnel, that will make everything more exhausting, I could go back to my old behaviour and fight against it and be upset about that or even resign, but I chose not to do so. And now, I am more relaxed again.
I will probably leave this site. I don't know when, yet. I still wish everyone the best

I'm really trying. My outside is the worst right now. A lot of plans I had just didnt happened and others collapse. Unemployment, end of a 7 years relationship, low self steem. Everything at once. So my mind wasnt ready. And I get depressed and suicidal.

 

[EssenceFocus]

In certain circumstances I'd agree with you, up to a point. It's certainly been my own personal experience of things. I shifted my perspective, became more realistic and tried to accept and live with things rather than expect someone to perform a miracle to help me out.
However, I certainly wasn't in that position last year. I was abandoned and dying. I was lucky to find a core of anger and stubbornness that would not accept this and fought to advocate for myself when no one else would. I did, however, have certain circumstances on my side. And people on here helped me, gave me focus, showed their pride in my actions.
That's not always the case for everyone. Some situations are extremely unlikely to change, even with a change of perspective.
That doesn't mean it's impossible, just very unlikely. I've seen and known people on here for which that is or has been the case. They lost their fight and I can't say I would have done any better in their place.
I can, as ever, only speak to my own experience but that experience does not allow me to understand the circumstances of another, or how profoundly it affects them. Or indeed how long they have suffered.

We have no choice but accept what we can't change, even as we do our best to change it against the odds. If we seek to recover. The alternative is suicide and for some, that is the path they choose to take.

It's difficult, yes. It's a site that discusses suicide and is always going to have an inherent bias towards that way of dealing with things. Otherwise the site would not exist as it does. It's like a double sided coin.
The recovery section is here, but will always be smaller than the main section. That doesn't make it less valid and I've seen a lot of people come here and make that first post that is a kind of informal commitment to the process. That's the thing with choice, it can go either way. Otherwise it would be worthless.
Some people make the choice to try and recover rather than end their lives, whilst others often have circumstances that are beyond their control. Everyone has their limits and everyone baulks under torture eventually.

I hope you don't leave the site.

First I will answer your last sentence. Thank you, but I am sure I will sooner or later go away. My reason to visit this site was to learn and simply inform myself about various methods, even if my wish to ctb wasn't extreme, but I wanted it as an option. I have never been a very discussive person, the only thing I could do on this site anymore, is maybe to help a few people. But when I keep visiting this site, it feels like I am not done with this whole topic. I will see...

Some situations are extremely unlikely to change, even with a change of perspective.

I will agree you on this. When somebody has lost his ability to walk for example, then acceptance of his state won't grow him a new spine. It may help getting into a new general mood, which can allow to see new alternatives, a new light, or to learn living with the problems.

A bit of my motivation to post this thread was to show, that the future won't be doom and gloom for everyone in very few decades, that society will change. When you know deep in you, that you may overcome every problem in the future, it can be very helpful. Hope!
I think it's difficult to express it fully. If someone is interested I may send a link of one of the exact sources of this method, what you can do in the deepest negative moment, to those who wish, that could make everything more clear.

I could write much more, but I don't think this is necessary.

 

[sufferingalways]

Hi OP Since you got a magic wand can you fix the plumbing fault in my house please? The landlord has refused to fix it.

This is stopping me and a friend from sleeping. Since March 2018.

Grateful for your speedy actions.

 

[antigone_iris]

I really, really want to write this. And if I can help only person from all of you, then this thread was successful.
I am honest. I am for the most part recovered. I came here in September, because I was way to occupied with my own problems and I sometimes thought a bit about ctb for various reasons. I totally forgot my former handling with problems, I lost myself.
I reevaluated what I really want in life. Nothing in my situation changed. Every "problem" is still the same. But I have finally changed my perception of this so called problems.
In some months I will start working part-time and I am looking forward very much, I am looking for an appartment, but all the other things didn't change.

I stood infront of the choice. Do I want to kill myself because of all these problems. Or do I want to go the hard way and accept them how they are? When you accept your life at it is now and don't fight it, you will be way more relaxed. Indeed I feel more energetic than in the last months. I have big dreams and hopes and I am looking forward to the next years and decades extremely.
I have never had a conversation with a therapist, I "cured" myself, only with how I view my life, what I really want.

I learned that everyone can recover if they choose to do so. Some people may feel upset about this sentence, because they are trying and trying. But the solution is in your head. Nothing in the outside will really help you. You all know how long some people are suffering and have ctb thoughts. I have read so many threads about people having no solution for many, many years. When no therapist can cure you or can vanish your problem after many tries, then maybe you will have to look for something different.
If only everyone could know how perfect you are. Nobody has to reach a specific goal, nobody must have a perfect job, a partner, many friends. There is no need for perfection and accomplishment, as everyone is already accomplished.
Many people feel like they are too dumb to live life and other people are way better. Or they didn't grow up.
You shouldn't compare yourself with other people. There is no need to have experienced this or that at this age. There is no checklist, that, if not fullfilled, says that you failed life.
Everything you experience in life is exactly what you wanted from your soul.
Now some people make a jump and say:"Not this again!"
You are way bigger, than you think about, an unlimited god-like being and only wanted to experience life.

Every problem in life has happened for you to grow stronger from it. Every depression comes from your mind. Not the chemical imbalance induces depression, it's the other way. When you feel negative, your body follows and changes it chemical composition. Medications seems to help you, despite the many side-effects. But they only cover up the symptoms.
The mental problems are still there.

Don't wait for the outside to change. It probably won't change. If some problem vanishes, another one will show up, I have enough experience in that, too.
BUT the moment you really accept your problem, the moment you really stop fighting it in your mind all the time, this is the moment where possibilities will open up. A negative state of being will attract negative things. This can lead to a vicious circle. But the moment you STOP paying attention to your problems, the energy is getting free. The problems won't vanish suddenly, but if you practice this state of mind, then possible solutions may appear, even if you didn't think they will ever.

The situation of so many people in our world suffering, will increase more and more. If you continue your life, then one day you will understand why you have suffered. You will toughen and may help other people, who are going trough the same experiences. Every person on earth and the whole collective of humans will arise like a butterfly and let go of the old belief systems and fears. That's what happening to everyone alive on earth sooner or later. You are affected from this process right know. That's the reason you are living in this time of 2020. The process won't stop, it will go on further and further. The more you fight against your problems, the bigger they get, until you collapse and give up fighting the problems or you will ctb. The reason, most people can't imagine a bright future without negativity is, because most people are still affected by negativity by themselves. They see negativity everywhere, every day. But once you overcome your problems, accept them, let go of your old belief systems, then you may stand up and be a lighthouse for everyone else and other people may follow. It will be like a cascade, more and more people will wake up and suddenly everyone has shifted for perception.
Corona is only a tool to accelerate this process now and this shift in consciousness won't stop.
If you tried everything possible and you are right before going to ctb, then think about that and try to see your life differently. Simply relax. You don't have to achieve anything. Let go of your control in life, then you are within the flow of your soul. Only this will truly help you, if nothing other is helping .
Stand up, let go of the fighting and be a lighthouse in the darkness. There is no hateful god against you. It's everything in your perception and if you let loose your soul will lead you. Don't follow your fears, accept them as a part of you, but you have always the choice not to follow them.
If you overcome your problems, then the near future will have wonderful, unimaginable things for you, experiences that are very different from your daily life.
I chose not to follow my fears. I accept my problems now. I want to experience the very bright future of humanity.

Everyone on earth will have to let go of their problems sooner or later in the next very few decades. Either you will die because of suicide, diseases or accidents, OR you will simply choose to shift your perception. "And why?": Because the problems with your mental health will get more and more difficult until you are forced to suicide or to try something different, because you can't stand this anymore.
Sometimes I forgot this, too and I was in a very bad state. But everything can change in a second.

If I could, I would send hugs to everyone of you to encourage you.
Maybe it won't mean much to you, because this are only words, but if I could explain you, how loved you are from your own soul and so many other beings. You have so much potential.
You are simply in the process to find back to yourself, to your natural state of mind, which is very difficult.
Imagine, how should humanity be able to have phyiscal contact to other civilizations, who are already waiting for us to wake up? How should we all advance so much, that we invent teleportation to other galaxies or to visit other dimensions in our mind? How should this be possible in the near future, when we aren't shifting our consciousness to a more satisfying, positive, expanded state of mind?

Regardles what happens in your life or what happens in the world, your mind can be solid and you can get trough everything, if you actively choose to do so.
It's your free will to choose. If you want, you can leave life, it's nothing negative, it's simply a choice. Or you will do the most difficult thing, stay in the moment, accept your situation, don't have fear of the future. Simply be in the now and everything can change.

Now I still have to work in the hospital in an uninteresting job, don't have a partner, real friends and many other things, but I have a giant hope and I know that everything will change to the better and I am not exhausted anymore. My months long headache has gone away and I am not so tired always anymore.
I love you

Thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad things are going well for you. I don't mean to offend you, but I'm not sure "spirituality" will work for others the way it worked for you. Also, I can't agree with the theory that we "attract what we think", LOA principles, basically. We're not the center of the universe (gods, right?). There are so many variables that affect our lives, and magical thinking ain't gonna save us from the damage other people inflict on us. I've been into New Age spirituality for two and a half years and it only made things worse for me. Again, it makes me really happy that life is going well for you. I hope you'll stay motivated and have the life you've always wanted. Please don't be offended by what I wrote.

 

[Done at Fifty]

You're assuming that everyone wants to commit suicide because of some problems or mental illness. For many thousands of years, before psychatrist could tell everyone they had a condition that needed fixing, we accepted that some people didn't like life. Its not always sadness either. Just like some people are perky extraverts, others are born not enjoying life. There are some who want to push through life's challenges and say BS like "I will survive" and "this will make me stronger" and those of us who really are sick of all the nonsense and just want to leave. One view is not better than the other.

As for the depressed, the world wants them to turn their frown upside down even if means a crap load of drugs. They don't accept mental illness - or rather Mental/personality differences -the world instead wants to fix them and make everyone the same with a strong desire to survive. However, too much of our natural tendencies to survive, including hunger, sex drive, competitiveness and survival instincts, can get out of control and cause problems (look at over population).

Some of us get depressed or anxious because our culture doesn't accept our desire to leave. I'd feel much happier if I had an accepted exit strategy and I knew it wouldn't upset anyone.

Notice how we accept suicidal desires if someone is severally physically ill or very old, but for some reason we think that there's a problem that needs fixing if someone says they're simply done with life? We should accept this natural inclination as healthy. Keep in mind too that some people who want to die become a problem to society - I'm not condoning this but its an interesting fact that many who clog our prisons wanted to die long before they started committing crimes and society wouldn't let them.

Suicidal thoughts for whatever reason, should be accepted as a natural part of the life cycle.