Venting My reasons to die

[Ameya]

I always believed my reasons to die are selfish, because I have never been physically abused nor experienced poverty. Since from a young age I have been emotionally neglected. No one wanted me around yet made sure I wasn't "standing around alone". I screamed uncontrollably as a child to a not normal extend. (Why? I don't know I don't remember, maybe emotional negelaction.) Thus made people drift away from me. Including my family. I only had maybe 1 or 2 friends around me. I only had 1 sincere childhood friend I am thankful for. Many of my more distant family dislike me, because of my old child self no interest in me now. My own close ones calling me boring so....family is out of the question. I tried to connect with others, but I couldn't. Sometimes abusive friends being the result. Anyway this was all in the past, but I have no interest in life anymore. My crippling low self eestem adds to it. It's not anyones fault. I just grew up in a not fitted environment.
I want to take my life to end my endless loneliness. I do not to feel this endless suffering and emptiness anymore.

This post is a bit boring, but maybe someone has similar reasons. What are yours?

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

NEET incel

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I'm a bit of an airhead whats an incel? (English isnt my first language)

It's a loose definition, I use it to describe male virginity in a funny way. Some people drag misogyny into the concept and others start nit-picking what's actually an incel and not, etc. So male virgin, basically.

 

[Lmd]

Being sad without an actual reason can be enough to die? I had traumas and gone through quite hard experiences but over time I have overcome them. I don't have anxiety, I live calmly. I don't have a partner but it isn't something that bothers me, I don't feel alone, I have people around who loves me. I don't live in the best conditions and I don't have total freedom but I don't care that much about it.

I have a problem with my feelings. I always feel things to the extreme but I learned to control it and turn all the energy into more productive things so I don't take risks or get carried away for it so of course I feel things and had good and bad experiences but in the end nothing matters. Due to it I usually have low energy so I ended up living without thinking too much. Everything I do ends up being in automatic mode because that's what it works for me.

Since yesterday I feel bad. I was crying all day and with a huge feeling of sadness and even so I have been able to do things and keep moving as if it didn't matter. In the end, it's like one more feeling. Nothing serious has happened, I had a good time with my friends, I have made plans for today, I keep moving but I feel that it's something I don't want. It feels like I don't want to breathe and end everything but I don't know where this feeling is coming from and it's ok because I usually have these days. Maybe tomorrow I'll be ok so I don't have to worry that much so life goes on, but right now I wish I was dead.

Sometimes I wish that I had something that matters to me enough to continue living or to hurt me enough to take the desired step but it never happens so I'm in a kind of limbo that isn't pleasant at all.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Reasons:

• Past insults/traumas that I can't accept
• The cruelty of reality as it contains so much suffering (disease poverty etc) which I have experienced and am guaranteed to experience in the future
• (Related) Intense fear about my future (probably homelessness + other indignities)
• Feeling totally unable to become the person I want to be

 

[intr0verse]

CPTSD/crippling panic attacks.

 

[Ameya]

It's a loose definition, I use it to describe male virginity in a funny way. Some people drag misogyny into the concept and others start nit-picking what's actually an incel and not, etc. So male virgin, basically.

Oh well you got the gender wrong