Hey guys, this is my first post, Idk how I ended up here, 1 thing led to another but here we are. I am going through a severe decline in brain and nervous system health and gut health due to a incident that took place some time ago. I am becoming more and more dysregulated, forgetful, anxious, depressed day by day. I am worried they'll put me in a psych ward and then I'll completely lose myself. It's a frightening situation that I find myself in. Everyone and I mean everyone in my family, except for 1 good friend tells me that there is nothing wrong with and that all this is purely mental, when I am experiencing really bad CNS effects that were caused by this incident. A lot of my normal daily functioning doesn't work like normal anymore and basically going through a really hard time and I see NO way out anymore when I was a hopeful and optimistic person before this incident which makes it all the more depressing.
I sought treatment for this issue, tried so many things, and it could take years to possibly recover from this and even that is not guaranteed and treatment for this is NOT offered in this country for normal people, only for people that are exposed to what happened with me in their work environment (toxin exposure).
I am considering drowning as my CBT, I have no other options, I don't have any medicine or anything to make this process easier too, I am in a seriously tough spot in my mind and eyes and life and I honestly want it to end before it's too late. I also know the SI is going to be really tough to overcome, but I sink in water and am not a great swimmer, I am considering swimming out as far as I can in the sea late in the middle of the night in the dark to then hopefully succumb to the fatigue and drown. It's probably going to be horrible but, it won't be more horrible than what might await me if I DON'T do this. I can feel the fear clearly just typing this, but I see no other way out. Any thoughts or any advice or anything really, I would love to hear, thank you. It feels good to sort of get this off my chest.
I sought treatment for this issue, tried so many things, and it could take years to possibly recover from this and even that is not guaranteed and treatment for this is NOT offered in this country for normal people, only for people that are exposed to what happened with me in their work environment (toxin exposure).
I am considering drowning as my CBT, I have no other options, I don't have any medicine or anything to make this process easier too, I am in a seriously tough spot in my mind and eyes and life and I honestly want it to end before it's too late. I also know the SI is going to be really tough to overcome, but I sink in water and am not a great swimmer, I am considering swimming out as far as I can in the sea late in the middle of the night in the dark to then hopefully succumb to the fatigue and drown. It's probably going to be horrible but, it won't be more horrible than what might await me if I DON'T do this. I can feel the fear clearly just typing this, but I see no other way out. Any thoughts or any advice or anything really, I would love to hear, thank you. It feels good to sort of get this off my chest.
