W
Wanderer
New Member
- Jun 15, 2021
- 3
It's funny how people say that life holds no meaning. I feel no sense of purpose, yet I have this strong instinct to keep going.
I don't fear the pain related to dying, I actually want to make myself suffer as much as possible. I have fantasies of skinning myself alive while millions of people watch. I want to make my death something grand, and I want everyone to see it. But I can't make this happen as it's not the pain while dying that hinders me but rather the idea of dying in and of itself.
This instinct I have to live is, ironically enough, ruining my life. I don't know when it will go away and let me die. I'm really desperate for some form of relief. Living is unbearable.
I don't fear the pain related to dying, I actually want to make myself suffer as much as possible. I have fantasies of skinning myself alive while millions of people watch. I want to make my death something grand, and I want everyone to see it. But I can't make this happen as it's not the pain while dying that hinders me but rather the idea of dying in and of itself.
This instinct I have to live is, ironically enough, ruining my life. I don't know when it will go away and let me die. I'm really desperate for some form of relief. Living is unbearable.