Venting My Random Thoughts About This Site So Far... The Pros & Cons

[Why Me?]

The Pros:

1. It brings comfort to my soul when people express themselves, and I realize that I'm not alone when it comes to my thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

2. No Psychiatrist, therapist, or other person can gaslight me into thinking that my realistic feelings & outlook doesn't make sense, because it is hopeless & dark, because of the validation I get from this site. Mental health professionals need to learn how to be realistic & not phony, and help their client from there instead of gaslighting or trying to minimize their problems.

3. People on this site take their mask off and tell the truth about how they really feel about their life, so your getting something authentic.

4. I feel like this site is a friend that I have, a friend that is going thru the same thing I'm going thru, and is willing to comfort me.

The Cons:

1. Outsiders think that everyone apart of this site is pro suicide, and that's not true. I want to CBT instead of live like this, but I think it's a tragic way to die, and I think it's better not to die that way, even though I understand that no one should have to suffer so much. I have NOT encouraged any one on this site to do it, and don't plan on it, but I think suicidal people should be free to vent, and be comforted. A lot of people come here, because a lot of mental health professionals are not getting the job done, by being lazy & idiotic, even though "normies" are in denial of this.

2. If someone is saying goodbye to this world, I feel like I will be offending them and other people on this site if I try to stop them by being accused of toxic positivity. I already offended 1 person trying to show them that the reason they wanted to CBT seemed very small. I've only rarely have tried to bring hope on this site. It's weird, because I know if I had access to a high enough window or ledge, I would probably jump off it or if I had a gun I would shoot myself, but that's because I have endured some real hell for decades, and I've really tried to make living worth while and now I'm a deteriorating older woman, but being suicidal doesn't mean I'm pro suicide.

3. I don't like it when people are like "Life is so awful, Life is terrible...." When they should be saying that THEIR life is awful, or THEIR life is terrible. Clearly there are a lot of people living great enjoyable lives. You can be depressed, and logical. There is no need to be unnecessarily dark, and make it seem like life can't be great, fun, and enjoyable for a lot of people. This is part of the reason why people don't trust the perspective of depressed or suicidal people, as if they have no rational. When I see people making it seem like life is the problem, instead of THEIR life being the issue, I start feeling like I'm apart of unnecessary darkness. Things are dark enough for me, it's not life, it's my life that's the issue.

4. I heard there are posers on this site...

5. Someone PMed me offering to chat with me, because I don't have any friends, and their offer was the last DM I got from them. It seems like they haven't been on this site ever since. Why would someone play with the hopes of someone that is already depressed? But I understand that a person that is depressed themselves cannot be expected to be reliable I guess.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

For your #5 under the cons, I say look at your #4 again. And I hear you on your #3 under cons, but understand not everyone on here is depressed because of "non-physical" things that brought hem to this point. There are people here in REAL agonizing, excruciating, physical pain, on an hourly, daily, weekly basis that does not go away. I can understand how they an hate life so much. It's life that brought this misery to them. Don't concentrate on the semantics so much. They aren't blaming you or anyone else for their misery. Yes, in the end, we are all talking about our lives when it comes to how we feel. But, we feel that life has dealt us bum hands, when, for others, life has dealt them the opposite. So, this thing called life is the problem.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

addressing the following cons.

#2: I feel like a good amount of us have already given up on life being good (even made an attempt), which is why they just don't want to hear the platitudes. We just don't see a way for our situation to improve. Everyone has their own path that led them to this point, no matter how small it seems to you, it is big to the person that is going through it.

#3: I don't see anything wrong with that. Akmost, if all of the people on this site are having shitty lives, which is why we are here in the first place. Obviously, I wouldn't go to someone's college graduation and rant about how life sucks, because that wouldn't be fair to those that are enjoying life. However, it doesn't seem like anyone on this site really enjoys their life so generalizations like that are okay when everyone can pretty much agree on it.

 

[Lullaby]

3. I don't think it's OK when people are like "Life is so awful, Life is terrible...." When they should be saying that THEIR life is awful, or THEIR life is terrible. Clearly there are a lot of people living great enjoyable lives. You can be depressed, and logical. There is no need to be unnecessarily dark, and make it seem like life can't be great, fun, and enjoyable for a lot of people. This is part of the reason why people don't trust the perspective of depressed or suicidal people, as if they have no rational. When I see people making it seem like life is the problem, instead of THEIR life being the issue, I start feeling like I'm apart of unnecessary darkness. Things are dark enough for me, it's not life, it's my life that's the issue.

To touch on this, it's really difficult for a lot people struggling with depression to be 'logical'. The way quite a bit of us view the world is completely different than most because of what we deal with everyday.

Of course, the world isn't terrible for everyone but when someone is saying the world sucks and it's horrible, it's from their point of view.

You do have your own issues, but I wouldn't take it so personal. We're on a forum to share these deep, dark and heavy thoughts. I would try to take some comfort in knowing you're not alone in what you're feeling when you read some of these threads, rather than making it feel like it's your problem to deal with.

You don't have to take on anyone's battles, we're just here to support each other when we can.

 

[FuneralCry]

But life is the problem. That is a fact. If none of us were born, it would mean that we would not suffer. It's totally ok to say life is terrible. Because it is. No one is forcing you to read posts. And also it is insensitive invalidating people's reasons to ctb. To be pro choice means to respect other people's decisions whether they choose to live or die. You know nothing about what other people are going through and you have no say in it. Toxic positivity and platitudes are annoying and it is the last thing that anyone needs.

 

[Why Me?]

But life is the problem. That is a fact. If none of us were born, it would mean that we would not suffer. It's totally ok to say life is terrible. Because it is. No one is forcing you to read posts. And also it is insensitive invalidating people's reasons to ctb. To be pro choice means to respect other people's decisions whether they choose to live or die. You know nothing about what other people are going through and you have no say in it. Toxic positivity and platitudes are annoying and it is the last thing that anyone needs.

When I said that it's not OK, I meant it's not OK with me, meaning I don't like it. Definitely a bad choice of words on my part. Should I edit my post? Yeah I just changed it. Also, who said I'm pro choice? not me. I said I don't think anyone should CBT. I'm suicidal, but not pro suicide, even though it might happen to me, because depression can be overwhelming. Also, I think there is a difference between invalidating someone's reasons to CBT compared to trying to give them hope, and look at things more realistically.

You just told me that "You know nothing about what other people are going through and you have no say in it. Toxic positivity and platitudes are annoying and it is the last thing that anyone needs." this aggressive attitude towards someone that has an opinion on someone wanting to CBT or trying to bring hope is the reason why outsiders think this site is dangerous, and are trying to shut it down.

 

[motel rooms]

There is no need to be unnecessarily dark, and make it seem like life can't be great, fun, and enjoyable for a lot of people.

This is a forum for those of us who are struggling with mental & physical illnesses & suicidality, not for shiny happy people laughing, holding hands... Who are you to tell SS members how to vent?

 

[Why Me?]

This is a forum for those of us who are struggling with mental & physical illnesses & suicidality, not for shiny happy people laughing, holding hands...

Yes, I understand that. My post was about me venting how I feel about certain things on this site, that's all. Thank for your feedback.

 

[FuneralCry]

When I said that it's not OK, I meant it's not OK with me, meaning I don't like it. Definitely a bad choice of words on my part. Should I edit my post? Yeah I just changed it. Also, who said I'm pro choice? not me. I said I don't think anyone should CBT. I'm suicidal, but not pro suicide, even though it might happen to me, because depression can be overwhelming. Also, I think there is a difference between invalidating someone's reasons to CBT compared to trying to give them hope, and look at things more realistically.

But you do not know any of the people on this site or what they are going through. Not everyone shares everything in their post. You have no right to say 'don't do this' when someone has made their decision. That is invalidating. All we can do is respect their choices. Also people are not looking for toxic positivity coming from a stranger. People hear enough of that stuff in real life. And so you want to force people to live and have them suffer until old age. I do not understand pro lifers, but I wish you the best and I'm sorry for what you are going through.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

They made an error in judgment, and has since then learned. What's done is done.

I am sure they will be more mindful in the future.

 

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

Damn guys

 

[Why Me?]

But you do not know any of the people on this site or what they are going through. Not everyone shares everything in their post. You have no right to say 'don't do this' when someone has made their decision. That is invalidating. All we can do is respect their choices. Also people are not looking for toxic positivity coming from a stranger. People hear enough of that stuff in real life. And so you want to force people to live and have them suffer until old age. I do not understand pro lifers, but I wish you the best and I'm sorry for what you are going through.

Question for you. Is all positivity toxic? I feel like toxic positivity is saying "Things will get better!!!" "Your crazy for wanting to CBT!!" I am receiving your feedback regardless. I want to stay apart of this community because of the pros, so I will proceed in a way as to not offend anyone. I'm going to try to learn my lesson, even if I don't think I should hold my tongue.

 

[Shu]

I feel you. On #3 as well. It can make people feel like life is truly meaningless and there is a chance for things to get better for some.I'm not looking for toxic positivity but im also not looking for Toxic negativity and someone telling me life is meaningless and nothing but suffering and there is no point in living.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Question for you. Is all positivity toxic? I feel like toxic positivity is saying "Things will get better!!!" "Your crazy for wanting to CBT!!" I am receiving your feedback regardless. I want to stay apart of this community because of the pros, so I will proceed in a way as to not offend anyone. I'm going to try to learn my lesson, even if I don't think I should hold my tongue.

Depends on the context. I feel like in the context of us, people who say positive things are doing so to uplift us, which can be toxic positive since it doesn't change our situation.

 

[FuneralCry]

Question for you. Is all positivity toxic? I feel like toxic positivity is saying "Things will get better!!!" "Your crazy for wanting to CBT!!" I am receiving your feedback regardless. I want to stay apart of this community because of the pros, so I will proceed in a way as to not offend anyone. I'm going to try to learn my lesson, even if I don't think I should hold my tongue.

You just told me that "You know nothing about what other people are going through and you have no say in it. Toxic positivity and platitudes are annoying and it is the last thing that anyone needs." this aggressive attitude towards someone that has an opinion on someone wanting to CBT or trying to bring hope is the reason why outsiders think this site is dangerous, and are trying to shut it down

To me, not all positivity is toxic. But if someone is posting about their suffering and a stranger who knows nothing about their situation offers useless platitudes, then to me that is invalidating. I just think a lot of people want to be understood and just want to feel less alone, they are not exactly looking for advice. Also my attitude is not aggressive. I respect the right to die. If people want to live, then good for them. But if someone wants to ctb then that is their decision and that should be respected. No one should be forced to live.

 

[motel rooms]

I'm going to try to learn my lesson, even if I don't think I should hold my tongue.

You shouldn't shut up, not offering unsolicited advice is enough. When members want positivity, they ask for it, usually in the Recovery section.

I already offended 1 person trying to show them that the reason they wanted to CBT seemed very small.

Does that surprise you?

now I'm a deteriorating older woman, but being suicidal doesn't mean I'm pro suicide.

This is a pro-choice forum. Personally, I don't care just how pro-choice you are as long as you don't invalidate anyone's pain. I get it, you're an older person & it breaks your heart that so many young people are suicidal, but you can't reach a person by interacting with them in a way they perceive as insensitive...

 

[ormaybeyoucouldchill]

it's not life, it's my life that's the issue.

But life is the problem. That is a fact. If none of us were born, it would mean that we would not suffer. It's totally ok to say life is terrible. Because it is.

I agree with @FuneralCry. Even if most people only experienced happiness, the fact that there is a percentage of people that are suffering is enough to convince me.

I feel you. On #3 as well. Influences people to feel like life is truly meaningless and there is no hope.

Saying life is "awful" or "terrible" has nothing to do with "meaning" (whatever that means) or "hope." People can make up any "meaning" they want or have plenty of "hope" for something/someone. That has nothing to do with the suffering that makes life "awful" and "terrible."

 

[Chinaski]

None of the observations in the OP are without legitimacy and some of the replies thereafter are just defensive bullshit.

 

[Shu]

N

I agree with @FuneralCry. Even if most people only experienced happiness, the fact that there is a percentage of people that are suffering is enough to convince me.



Saying life is "awful" or "terrible" has nothing to do with "meaning" (whatever that means) or "hope." People can make up any "meaning" they want or have plenty of "hope" for something/someone. That has nothing to do with the suffering that makes life "awful" and "terrible."

Nobody said that there isn't any "suffering" or that life can't be "awful" or "terrible" for some. you're obviously taking what I'm saying the wrong way. Also just because you don't see meaning in your life doesn't mean other people don't oe have the ability to find a meaning in theirs. Some people speak from their perspective and say that life is completely meaningless and it has no purpose and it is nothing but terrible and awful when the reality is it isn't like that for everyone and it doesn't always have to be that way. Not everyone that is going through a "terrible" or "awful" time will be in that spot forever. Some people will get through it. Some people will really be convinced that life is truly pointless and there's no point in being alive when it's really just the perspective of the person saying it.

 

[Al Cappella]

I don't think you're wrong either, but perhaps your expectations are a tad misaligned. For example, in objecting to someone saying "all of life is complete shit, even the rainbows and kittens", then going on to say what you did about psychiatrists and mental health workers, etc. Both are examples of globalizing, and so necessarily cannot possibly be true.

Many folks here are in extreme stress, illness, and pain, so of course they're going to say things that aren't objectively accurate. That's ok. They just want to be heard, in most cases, or at least not contradicted. There are also folks of differing cognitive abilities, which must also be accommodated. I think you get the point.

At the end of the day, we can't really tell anyone anything they don't want to hear. Besides which, it's the internet, and so there's a law that says you have to be offended and morally outraged by at least 3 things a day…

 

[ormaybeyoucouldchill]

Nobody said that there isn't any "suffering" or that life can't be "awful" or "terrible" for some. you're obviously taking what I'm saying the wrong way. Also just because you don't see meaning in your life doesn't mean other people don't oe have the ability to find a meaning in theirs. Some people speak from their perspective and say that life is completely meaningless and it has no purpose and it is nothing but terrible and awful when the reality is it isn't like that for everyone and it doesn't always have to be that way. Not everyone that is going through a "terrible" or "awful" time will be in that spot forever. Some people will get through it. Some people will really be convinced that life is truly pointless and there's no point in being alive when it's really just the perspective of the person saying it.

I don't think there is a "point/meaning" to being alive, and that it's just us making up our own "points/meanings" to comfort ourselves. People coming up with their own "points/meanings" doesn't begin to negate all of the pointless suffering that life causes. Regardless of how many people "get through it," there are still countless people who never will. Which is one of the reasons why I see life as terrible.

 

[Shu]

I don't think there is a "point/meaning" to being alive, and that it's just us making up our own "points/meanings" to comfort ourselves. People coming up with their own "points/meanings" doesn't begin to negate all of the pointless suffering that life causes. Regardless of how many people "get through it," there are still countless people who never will. Which is one of the reasons why I see life as terrible.

I accept how you feel but that's your perspective. I'm sorry that you are suffering

 

[Weebster]

Disappointing dissertation

 

[BigG91]

Thank you for posting about " YOUR " thoughts about the Pros & Cons about the site.

So you want to stop people from CTB who have small reasons ?

 

[Why Me?]

Thank you for posting about " YOUR " thoughts about the Pros & Cons about the site.

So you want to stop people from CTB who have small reasons ?

What I didn't include in my pros & cons is my traumatizing experiences with the paranormal. I do believe that evil spirits exist, so it's hard for me to convince myself that there is just peace on the other side. I understand how someone can feel overwhelmed by their suffering and make the choice to CBT, but I still feel scared for them. So if a person wants to CBT over something that seems very temporary, and can probably be changed, it's even harder for me to watch them make a decision that they could very well regret. Also, some people have children or people that truly love them that may have their entire lives devastated. I already could tell that a lot of people on this site do not want others to bring hope to the ones who have made the CBT decision, so I have mostly held my tongue, but I did try to bring hope to about 2 people. Based on the feedback from this post, I won't do it anymore. For you to say to me "So you want to stop people from CTB who have small reasons?" is very weird to me, but I won't elaborate. If I made a post about CBTing, and someone tried to bring me hope in a non attacking way, I wouldn't be mad at them, or think they are doing something wrong, I would just respectfully disagree if I choose to. The hypocrisy of people and the unnecessary anger is very strange. I could express myself more on this matter, but I won't. This has killed my desire to freely express myself on a SUICIDE FORUM as a SUICIDAL PERSON. At least I was brave enough to share my personal thoughts, good & bad about this site, and open the floor for feedback, and discussion.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Well, what seems small to you may not be to someone else. Suffering is not a competition and we should not compare our situations. I can however understand why one might see something like a break up a trivial reason to CTB for example, but it would not be my place to talk them out of it.

 

[Why Me?]

Well, what seems small to you may not be to someone else. Suffering is not a competition and we should not compare our situations. I can however understand why one might see something like a break up a trivial reason to CTB for example, but it would not be my place to talk them out of it.

I totally understand what you are saying. We are all individuals that are going to have different opinions on what we consider "small." Suffering is not a competition. It's just the fact that people have a problem with me wanting to bring hope, even in a non attacking way, because of my personal opinion on suicide, when this is a suicide forum. But like I said, now that I see what this site is all about, lesson learned. Thank you for feedback.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

That's fair. Hope is usually best given out in the recovery section of this board. The suicide discussion section is typically used by people just give up so to speak.

 

[WanderingWater]

 

[downndone2]

I enjoyed reading.. looks like most of the comments summed up my thought. MY life is painful and fucked! I have about zero hopes left at this point