My psychiatrist epxects me to do way better than I am able to and I am afraid I am disappointing her

[nux_walpurgis]

As of right now I see a therapist/psychologist and a psychiatrist. My therapist is kinda more relaxed and understands that I am taking things step after (tiny) step.

My psychiatrist, I feel she expecting too much from me? I don't know how to explain. I mentioned to her a couple of months ago that I might get a job (my first job ever) and she's been all over me since, telling me that it's good I have finally stopped postoponing things due to my anxiety (not), asking me deatails like when I am going to get the job, and all that while I am not even sure I will get a job in the end.

Like, if I change my mind about the job, how the hell I am going to tell her that? I feel that I will be a disappointment to her. I feel that I have to live up to the idea of recovery she has of me.

I am almost tempted to lie to her and tell her I got a job, while I have not, but I know very well, this is not how therapy works. All this is so stressing, I feel like ditching her, but I am afraid I would have to ditch my therapist too then, because they are like a team and work from the same office, and perhaps they "go" together. Ughhhhhhh

And even the thought about telling I want to stop is terryfing because I hate confrontation.

 

[Life_and_Death]

maybe having a conversation with them about their high expectations and how its stressing you out??
it seems like they might have gotten a little caught up with themselves and need to take a breather/step back
like you need to work on your "smart goals" and your psychiatrist is jumping to the end result, and maybe thats the issue. it not their job (different from a therapist) so they skip over/lack the understand of 'slow and steady wins the race'

super proud of the work you have put in so far i hope you manage to get the job through this (or whatever is best for you)

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

I agree wth Life and Death. This is kind of unrlated, but had a huge misundertanding with my therapist where I thought she was deliberalty charging me like 30% more for each session becuase she was pissed at me and didn't want to deal with my bs anymore. I finally got the nerve to bring it up and she felt horrible that I felt like that. All her bill went up so she had to increase everyone's payment, and I found out she was still charging me just half of the lowest ring, so even though it went up, she was still trying to make it affordable for me by taking a hit to her own pocket.

I've ran into a lot of psychiatrists that are really go'getter types. but That may just be the way they are and they may not realize how much stress they're putting on you. Maybe you can talk to her and explain that the super highexpentations are affecting your health negatively. If you'r elik me, super high expectations can cause me to shut down. Try to explain to her that yu kno w she's trying to help, but she's making you feel exremely bad and it's becoming counter productive.

Maybe give the job a week or so. Often when it's something new, we hype it up in our heads as something way worse than it ends up being. Now, of course it could turn out to be a shitty job. But, tell her that you need to fee lsupported no matter what decision you end up making. Starting a new job (for anyone!) is stressful as hell. Knowing that she has your back and will still support you even if you can't handle it will take a large amount of pressure off in that area.

I wish you all the best. Sending you a viritual hug. I thought you might find this itneresting. When I started my job iw as 90% sure they would fire me. And I've been there for over 8 years... so even if things look lik ethey're going terrible (to you) it could also be your stress blowing smaller things out of proportion.

Keep us updated on how you're doing and the job situation. But really, I really suggest speaking to your psychiatrist and sayihing the pressure she's putting on you is really affecting you in a tough way. Some shrinks think 'tough love' is the way to go, but don't understand that's not something that helps some people (or mostif I'm being honest).

 

[J&L383]

Psychiatrists are people, not perfect, so they may get full of themselves (and a cynical side of me is that they may be up against the clock with a limited amount of billings they can do). You do need to advocate for yourself in the end, and not let anyone push you around if it feels wrong to you. I think that would do you well. (But I'm not a trained professional, just an end user of the "system" myself.)

 

[Hollowman]

Don't worry about disappointing someone who's just experimenting on you and profiting off you.

 

[theboy]

Remember that if you are not comfortable with your therapist, you are free to find another one

 

[Gorbolflungus]

That seems really weird, she might just be happy that you're getting better but it's weird for me for a psychiatrist to be that personally attached to a patient so I don't think she'd be disappointed in you, I don't think that's the sort of thing a psychiatrist would feel for a patient. Regardless, it might be a good idea to tell her about how you're feeling because is clearly affecting your treatment, so to just ignore would be just shooting yourself in the foot. I doubt it'd come off as confrontational because I imagine that as a psychiatrist she'd understand why you're feeling pressured.