My Plans

[Xiaomi]

Every night, I get bad anxiety attacks and it gets worse. I feel like my dad hates me too and I'm not ever allowed to leave home so CTB is my only option. I'm thinking about renting a PO Box or maybe get someone from craigs deliver SN when I get the opportunity but my primary method would be jumping. For some reason, I stopped cutting and I've been clean for more than 6 months although my left arm is in shreds. Life is unbearable.

Look around you damn it, in a few years we won't be able to afford anything anymore and all I've ever done in my life is make people happy and get ordered around like the piece of shit I am. It is my turn. I want to rest. Suicide will seal the deal. I am out of here.

I will kill myself the day after New Year.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Your dad doesn't allow you to leave the house... why? Are you a child?

 

[Xiaomi]

We are on lockdown. Also, I am 20 years old.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

We are on lockdown. Also, I am 20 years old.

You're allowed to leave the house for exercise... does your father allow you to exercise?

 

[Donk]

Have you made an attempt to seek professional help? I always advise others to exhaust their options before ending their life.

 

[Xiaomi]

You're allowed to leave the house for exercise... does your father allow you to exercise?

No bro. For every family, only one can leave the house. There's an ID thing going on too. I am losing my mind.

Have you made an attempt to seek professional help? I always advise others to exhaust their options before ending their life.

I believe I already told you my family doesn't believe in mental wellness, etc.

 

[peacechoice]

I am so sorry. Think hard and think about your options. I'm not encouraging you do do anything, but death should be taken as your last resort and you have to be super sure. It just seems like you're going into this out of impulse. It shouldn't be like that. You should have a plan and many backups.

 

[Xiaomi]

I am so sorry. Think hard and think about your options. I'm not encouraging you do do anything, but death should be taken as your last resort and you have to be super sure. It just seems like you're going into this out of impulse. It shouldn't be like that. You should have a plan and many backups.

Yes I am weighing everything right now. I never fit into society.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Everyone is entitled to get out of the house for an hour a day for exercise, so long as you socially distance by 2 metres.

You're old enough to go to your GP on your own. Get a referral yo mental health team for an assessment.

 

[Xiaomi]

Everyone is entitled to get out of the house for an hour a day for exercise, so long as you socially distance by 2 metres.

You're old enough to go to your GP on your own. Get a referral yo mental health team for an assessment.

If only it was that easy, thank you anyway. This is like house arrest, you know.

 

[Donk]

Might not have to leave the house. most doctors are seeing their patients virtually due to covid.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I believe I already told you my family doesn't believe in mental wellness, etc.

It's mental illness they "don't believe in." They'll certainly have a wake up call when they lose their son to it!!

 

[Meditation guide]

No bro. For every family, only one can leave the house. There's an ID thing going on too. I am losing my mind.

I wish they would do that where I live so maybe at some point this damned virus would stop infecting everyone. I'm sorry you have to live that way.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Sorry to hear that OP. I hope you can look at other options before deciding on ctb. Am not a pro lifer but would hate to see you go before looking at all options.