My plan

[Bleneviola]

Today I set a date. It's not that far. I was initially planning on staying a little while longer but changed my plans because it's the most likely scenario where I won't be found and will be able to do it properly.
Doing it with SN and Meto. A stat dose, around midnight. I have exams currently and I'm just WAITING for them to get over so I can enjoy my last few days.
It's so stupid but despite fully knowing I plan on being gone in a week I still can't fucking relax about my grades. Maybe that's what brought me to this.

 

[Themogger]

I don't know if this helps but I found out you can go to a random pharmacy and ask to measure your weight on a scale. For free! And if you don't have a digital scale for measuring SN, you can get baking measuring cups and convert from tbsp/tsp to g. They're scoop unlike dinner spoons that are heap so they're more accurate. But I'm sure you've already got that stuff all planned out. This is for anyone that's as limited in resources as I am. Goodluck!

 

[Bleneviola]

I don't know if this helps but I found out you can go to a random pharmacy and ask to measure your weight on a scale. For free! And if you don't have a digital scale for measuring SN, you can get baking measuring cups and convert from tbsp/tsp to g. They're scoop unlike dinner spoons that are heap so they're more accurate. But I'm sure you've already got that stuff all planned out. This is for anyone that's as limited in resources as I am. Goodluck!

I have no idea how you knew exactly what I needed but that was actually exactly what I was worried about! The measurement!!
Thank you for the advice, I was planning on just having like a 1.5-2 tbsp ? Would that be an ok measurement ?

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you all the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[max_vader2]

What made you take this decision? I imagine it wasn't a single event, but I'm curious about what triggered the "ok, fuck this, I'm out"

 

[Bleneviola]

I wish you all the best, I hope you find peace.

Thank you!!!

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

may it be a fast and peaceful passing for you. good luck.

 

[Bleneviola]

What made you take this decision? I imagine it wasn't a single event, but I'm curious about what triggered the "ok, fuck this, I'm out"

Hmm I think it's because I just realize my life will always, always be too much of an uphill battle. Too much work. Way too much. If I want to be successful. I live in a suuuuper overpopulated country where competition for jobs and University seats is intense. To put it into perspective, think 300,000 people fighting for seats in a uni with like 5000 seats. To get "up" in life requires either superhuman intelligence (which I don't have) or superhuman struggle, devoting entire years to studying 12-14 hours a day. What's the point ? Why does my life have to be this ?
I don't want to fucking struggle. Not this much. It's not worth it.
I'm sick of studying.
I just want out

What made you take this decision? I imagine it wasn't a single event, but I'm curious about what triggered the "ok, fuck this, I'm out"

Btw thank you for asking, it felt good to say it out loud. Cathartic

may it be a fast and peaceful passing for you. good luck.

Thank you <3

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

Hmm I think it's because I just realize my life will always, always be too much of an uphill battle. Too much work. Way too much. If I want to be successful. I live in a suuuuper overpopulated country where competition for jobs and University seats is intense. To put it into perspective, think 300,000 people fighting for seats in a uni with like 5000 seats. To get "up" in life requires either superhuman intelligence (which I don't have) or superhuman struggle, devoting entire years to studying 12-14 hours a day. What's the point ? Why does my life have to be this ?
I don't want to fucking struggle. Not this much. It's not worth it.
I'm sick of studying.
I just want out

You might change your mind about going through with your plan. please let the community know if you do decide otherwise, and also, I am taking SN as well, could you let us know your experience if you are able? I know some people don't do 'updates' as they are going through the process, and I respect and honor that.
Good luck, you aren't alone.

 

[Bleneviola]

You might change your mind about going through with your plan. please let the community know if you do decide otherwise, and also, I am taking SN as well, could you let us know your experience if you are able? I know some people don't do 'updates' as they are going through the process, and I respect and honor that.
Good luck, you aren't alone.

I'm not going to be updating when I'm doing it. I'll be logging out and deleting my accounts before so my parents don't see it.
Thank you and good luck

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I'm not going to be updating when I'm doing it. I'll be logging out and deleting my accounts before so my parents don't see it.
Thank you and good luck

I understand, and thank you.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

Today I set a date. It's not that far. I was initially planning on staying a little while longer but changed my plans because it's the most likely scenario where I won't be found and will be able to do it properly.
Doing it with SN and Meto. A stat dose, around midnight. I have exams currently and I'm just WAITING for them to get over so I can enjoy my last few days.
It's so stupid but despite fully knowing I plan on being gone in a week I still can't fucking relax about my grades. Maybe that's what brought me to this.

It sounds like you are going through some things that are passing, difficulties and struggles with school....things that can get better in time...you seem to have a lot of good in your life, even though it is hard. Maybe you can just hold on and give it some more time.....

 

[Themogger]

I have no idea how you knew exactly what I needed but that was actually exactly what I was worried about! The measurement!!
Thank you for the advice, I was planning on just having like a 1.5-2 tbsp ? Would that be an ok measurement ?

I'm also going with SN and I'm a bit of an over thinker. If you check your weight and you're under 100kg(I checked mine and it was eighty-something), 25g is the gold standard. But if you're over, 35g is advised lest you wake up the next morning wondering what went wrong. Since we're dealing with salts, just a gram could be the difference between vomiting and not vomiting so it's best to be accurate when you can. But Incase you do vomit, it'd be wise to have a backup cup.

A tablespoon is 14g(or 15g) and 15ml. So 2 tablespoons will be 28g which is a sweet spot between under and above 100kg. A lot of people go with that so as long as it is a scoop tablespoon and not heap dinner tablespoon, then sure, use it. Be sure to measure the water too, it should be as little as possible per cup, 50ml to 100ml(remember to stop drinking water 2hrs before SN, I think to not pee, not sure why). In my baking measuring spoons/cups package, there's a plastic cup that measures 60ml exact so I'll just use that for water.

Only thing left for me is gum and disposable cups. I hear some people use numbing mouth wash that makes them not taste the salt and hence not wanna vomit, I might have to look into that . Alright, lemme stop yapping

 

[Bleneviola]

See that's the thing. It seems temporary if you're not me but honestly I'm going to continue having these difficulties (with worse stress) for ATLEAST 3 more years. And that's the best case scenario. And even after that it's just going to be a shit life. I feel like a lot of people simply don't realize how shit life can be for us people in third world countries. I also have a disability (physical) and I am also a girl in a really unsafe country so no. Life is not going to just magically get better

It sounds like you are going through some things that are passing, difficulties and struggles with school....things that can get better in time...you seem to have a lot of good in your life, even though it is hard. Maybe you can just hold on and give it some more time.....