Method My plan for shotgun death - please review, want to CTB ASAP

[methylene blue]

Hello SS members,


Down to brass tax - I am now in a living situation (renting an apartment individually, living alone) which will be safe for buying a gun and shooting myself in. I gathered a couple resources in one of the megathreads:


The gun I will buy: (from budsgunshop.com) https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/42605


Maverick 88 12GA 18.5" CYL 6RD


The ammo I will buy: (also from budsgunshop.com) https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/cPath/656_2081/products_id/60359


Winchester 12 Ga. 2 3/4" 9 Pellets #00 Buck

I have visited the website of my local FFL which is located right in my city (described as "Preferred FFL dealer!" who also does ammo shipments). According to their site, the procedure for receiving the gun includes:

- filling out and submitting the ATF's 4473 Firearm Transaction Record, a 6 page pdf file which I have downloaded and reviewed. I am uncertain I will pass the NICS background check because I have a mental disorder diagnosis of Bi-polar II disorder and Substance Use Disorder. I have voluntarily admitted myself to mental health hospitals on a handful of occasions but have never been admitted involuntarily, according to my own knowledge. I will return to this when I list my questions at the end.

- passing the Firearms Safety quiz (30 questions, must answer 23 correct to pass). The exam can be taken at the FFL gun shop and the information to study is supposedly online. This to me sounds like the easiest criterion.

- passing a hands-on demonstration of the ability to use the firearm, also done at the FFL gun shop location, test measures ability to lock safety, empty clips, and load and shoot gun with a "dummy" bullet. Something like that. Not having an actual gun to practice with, I guess I'll just have to learn this by watching videos...??? Of someone using the exact same gun???

So, does this all sound like the standard criteria for acquiring a gun? Am I missing something or am I misinformed?

Here are the rest of my questions and concerns. Most have to do with the ATF 4473 form and the NICS check.

I'm attaching a copy of the ATF form so people reading this can reference it to what I'm talking about.

NUMBER 11 (a-i)

Here is my criminal record:

1. Arrest for public intoxication (647-f) (5 years ago)
2. Arrest for public intoxication, revocation of (informal) probation (4 years ago)
3. Arrest for possession of controlled substance, drug paraphernalia and revocation of (informal) probation (4 years ago)
4. Arrest for public intoxication and revocation of (informal) probation (3 years ago)
5. Arrest for hit-and-run driving accident and reckless driving (4 months ago, case is still active in court, my lawyer is still working on it)

I have never been sentenced to jail time. I spent one night in the "drunk tank" in jail for my first arrest and for the others I spent the night at the police station, just to sober up and be released in the morning with a court date basically.

Arrests 3 and 4 can be found through an online search of me. 1 and 2 seem to have vanished and dissolved. I successfully completed the DEJ program in court to resolve (expunge might be the right term) my drug possession charge. So I don't really know what has stayed on my record but I'm pretty sure background checks (at least the ones employers do for new hires) can only find the arrests for public intoxication. Some organization (mental health) must have record of my psychiatric diagnoses and I wonder if and how the NICS test would find that information.

1. So my first question is, what will the NICS find about me?

2. Say I mark "no" for 11e (are you addicted to drugs? question), and the NICS finds out that I lied. Will I get in trouble for not saying "yes"? Could I go to prison?

3. Say I don't lie, put down all honest answers but I am denied by the NICS. Will I get in trouble just for being denied? Will an unqualified applicant be prosecuted for attempting to acquire a gun? THIS IS MY MOST EAGER QUESTION. I DON'T WANT TO TURN IN THE REPORT, BE DENIED, AND THEN BE CHARGED WITH CRIMINAL OFFENSES FOR TRYING TO BUY A GUN! It would be great if I could just be denied, but then nothing else happens.

4. 11f asks if I have been "adjudicated as a mental defective" or been committed to a mental institution. Does a psychiatric diagnosis like Bi-polar II qualify me as a mental defective? It says this is determined by a court in the question 11f reference. It says committment to mental institution does not include voluntary committment. What do you think?

5. If I can not acquire a firearm through this method, what else can I do, that does not involve passing a background check or even passing the safety tests?

6. What is your overall impression of all of this? Do you think I can do it? Anything else? Any questions for me?

It may also be important to note that I live in and am a resident of California, and I have read that states such as California and Colorado have more particular gun laws. Will this affect anything?


Thanks for reading, I know I put a lot of information and maybe I could have been more concise, but I must be absolutely sure I know what I'm doing and so I tend to really spell everything out so I don't miss having one of my questions being answered or simply being reassured about something. I'm not always the greatest decision maker, I can be impulsive and not think things through or take important things into consideration. I intend this post as a consultation to those here who hopefully are stronger in those areas of judgment than I am.

 

[Rachel74]

Bipolar does qualify as a mental disorder.
You've done a lot of research which is amazing. I'm not in the US so unsure of licensing laws there. I'm sure someone will help you with that one.
My only question is if they turn you down what next?

 

[NextBusLeaving]

It is a violation of the law to lie on the form as well as to attempt to buy if you are prohibited. You can face Fed time for either. Pleasedon't use a gun. Every gun suicide strengthens the argument for ppl who want to take them away.

Also a prohibited crime.can be any of a number of things that carry at POTENTIAL sentence of more than 1 year in prison - even if you got probation what matters is what COULD have been.

Stay safe and consider life. 10 year/250k federal fine is no joke and Cali of all places will stick it to you over guns.
The hit and run pending will most likely prohibit you if i am not mistaken.
Adjudicated mental illness means ruled by a court or an involuntary. Getting a diagnosis or treatment is not an adjudicated or involuntary. TBH i dont think even a voluntary check in prohibits but IDK

 

[Thatdude]

Something to note. If you take your life on someone else property. You not only will require them to pay someone to clean the mess. But you also devalue the property a little.

 

[methylene blue]

My only question is if they turn you down what next?

I'm researching muzzle loaders now. When I first discovered this site and read the "Firearms megathread" I read that muzzle loaders may not have to be shipped to an FFL and can be shipped straight to your front door. Soon I might post a new thread asking specifically about that.

If it seems like that isn't going to work either, then I will quickly look into hanging or jumping. Hopefully in the next few days I will acquire all the information I need about firearms and muzzle loaders to decide if that is a viable option for me. If not, then I don't see any reason for not being able to pull off a hanging or jump in the next couple weeks. I need to get out of here by the end of October. I'm a procrastinating, uncommitted fool if I wait any longer.

It is a violation of the law to lie on the form as well as to attempt to buy if you are prohibited. You can face Fed time for either.

So are you saying it isn't even worth it to try to buy a gun through an FFL by all the standard procedures? Getting denied would mean getting arrested for trying? That is my main question. I want to know if it is even worth a try. How do I know for sure if it can be proven that I am prohibited?

Something to note. If you take your life on someone else property. You not only will require them to pay someone to clean the mess. But you also devalue the property a little.

I don't give a flying fuck about people or their property or what anybody considers valuable.

 

[NextBusLeaving]

Prosecution for lying on the form is a possibility. I would not chance it. Ask your attorney for advice - he should know if you are prohibited. You could frame it like a friend asked you to go shooting - most places its illegal to even let someone USE a gun if they cant own it.

May I ask why you are in such a hurry?

Also if you try to buy for cash from a private buyer they WILL trace the gun when you are gone and then that guy is going in for all day. Guns are no joke. Just being honest. Theyve really come down on that in my lifetime.

 

[Rachel74]

Please don't rush this. You have done great research but if hanging is your method please research it as there have been lots of failed attempts on here.

I'm a homeowner and I rent a property out if someone shoe themselves on my properly I'd be pretty pissed off and yes it would devalue it.
Go into a woods and do it that way if you really are certain, I know you are in pain right now but think of the consequences.

 

[Flightlinek]

I don't know what state you're in, but that's a LOT of requirements. Here in Florida, you can walk into the gun shop, fill out the ATF 4473 and, as long as you pass the background check, walk out with the gun of your choice no further questions asked.

I've bought a lot of guns over the years, and here's what I know:
- A bi-polar diagnosis won't disqualify you at all
- Voluntary admission at a psych hospital won't disqualify you
- Involuntary admission at a psych hospital won't necessarily disqualify you, either, especially if it's just the 72-hour hold
- Being "adjucated a mental defect" means that a judge has ruled you incompetent (you usually hear about this at trials where someone's trying to use it as a defense). That's fairly rare, really.
- I don't think any of your arrests should disqualify you, UNLESS they were felonies. A single felony of any kind will disqualify you.
- Don't say you're addicted to drugs. It IS illegal to lie on the form, but chances are they won't know about that one (same with the question about denouncing your allegiance to the USA... really, who on Earth would actually answer that one yes?)
- I've seen people get declined at gun shows and even in a local gun shop many times, and all of them just looked disappointed and walked away. I've never seen anyone get in trouble just for failing the background check.

Hope this helps.

 

[NextBusLeaving]

Ive never seen it and I don't have access to the DOJ data but they can and have prosecuted ppl for false 4473s that were denied. What % of denials get followed up? Couldn't tell you. Its not the dealers prerogative to follow up but those records are kept and IIRC reported somewhere after the fact.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Just a warning but DO NOT LIE ON THE 4473 if what you are lying about is on record! It is a felony and if you are caught you'll be in deep dookie. IIRC, you won't be in legal trouble if you tell the truth and are denied. It's only when you've lied and it is denied that'll get you in big trouble.

 

[TAW122]

Lots of people have given good advice and since you live in California, yes it would be really difficult for you to legally obtain a firearm. I would suggest looking into an alternative method if possible. However, if that isn't an option and you are still determined to acquire a firearm, then look into the gun show loophole. IANAL, but there are certain states that don't require a background check when buying from a private seller and most of the time, it is for long guns (rifles and shotguns) so shotguns do fit that criteria.

All in all, I would still strongly suggest you to look at other means like hanging or jumping. Yes, it is still really scary and for hanging I would go with partial rather than full suspension and make sure the ligature and the material can support your weight and not break. Hanging is certainly harder to pull off than jumping, however, jumping requires one to be of sufficient height and of solid ground. I do not recommend the GGB (Golden Gate Bridge) as that is highly monitored and also difficult to access. If you have a car and can go to a secluded place or another state then I would do so to look for other high places to leap should you decide on jumping.

 

[sleepy dog]

Hello SS members,


Down to brass tax - I am now in a living situation (renting an apartment individually, living alone) which will be safe for buying a gun and shooting myself in. I gathered a couple resources in one of the megathreads:


The gun I will buy: (from budsgunshop.com) https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/42605


Maverick 88 12GA 18.5" CYL 6RD


The ammo I will buy: (also from budsgunshop.com) https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/cPath/656_2081/products_id/60359


Winchester 12 Ga. 2 3/4" 9 Pellets #00 Buck

I have visited the website of my local FFL which is located right in my city (described as "Preferred FFL dealer!" who also does ammo shipments). According to their site, the procedure for receiving the gun includes:

- filling out and submitting the ATF's 4473 Firearm Transaction Record, a 6 page pdf file which I have downloaded and reviewed. I am uncertain I will pass the NICS background check because I have a mental disorder diagnosis of Bi-polar II disorder and Substance Use Disorder. I have voluntarily admitted myself to mental health hospitals on a handful of occasions but have never been admitted involuntarily, according to my own knowledge. I will return to this when I list my questions at the end.

- passing the Firearms Safety quiz (30 questions, must answer 23 correct to pass). The exam can be taken at the FFL gun shop and the information to study is supposedly online. This to me sounds like the easiest criterion.

- passing a hands-on demonstration of the ability to use the firearm, also done at the FFL gun shop location, test measures ability to lock safety, empty clips, and load and shoot gun with a "dummy" bullet. Something like that. Not having an actual gun to practice with, I guess I'll just have to learn this by watching videos...??? Of someone using the exact same gun???

So, does this all sound like the standard criteria for acquiring a gun? Am I missing something or am I misinformed?

Here are the rest of my questions and concerns. Most have to do with the ATF 4473 form and the NICS check.

I'm attaching a copy of the ATF form so people reading this can reference it to what I'm talking about.

NUMBER 11 (a-i)

Here is my criminal record:

1. Arrest for public intoxication (647-f) (5 years ago)
2. Arrest for public intoxication, revocation of (informal) probation (4 years ago)
3. Arrest for possession of controlled substance, drug paraphernalia and revocation of (informal) probation (4 years ago)
4. Arrest for public intoxication and revocation of (informal) probation (3 years ago)
5. Arrest for hit-and-run driving accident and reckless driving (4 months ago, case is still active in court, my lawyer is still working on it)

I have never been sentenced to jail time. I spent one night in the "drunk tank" in jail for my first arrest and for the others I spent the night at the police station, just to sober up and be released in the morning with a court date basically.

Arrests 3 and 4 can be found through an online search of me. 1 and 2 seem to have vanished and dissolved. I successfully completed the DEJ program in court to resolve (expunge might be the right term) my drug possession charge. So I don't really know what has stayed on my record but I'm pretty sure background checks (at least the ones employers do for new hires) can only find the arrests for public intoxication. Some organization (mental health) must have record of my psychiatric diagnoses and I wonder if and how the NICS test would find that information.

1. So my first question is, what will the NICS find about me?

2. Say I mark "no" for 11e (are you addicted to drugs? question), and the NICS finds out that I lied. Will I get in trouble for not saying "yes"? Could I go to prison?

3. Say I don't lie, put down all honest answers but I am denied by the NICS. Will I get in trouble just for being denied? Will an unqualified applicant be prosecuted for attempting to acquire a gun? THIS IS MY MOST EAGER QUESTION. I DON'T WANT TO TURN IN THE REPORT, BE DENIED, AND THEN BE CHARGED WITH CRIMINAL OFFENSES FOR TRYING TO BUY A GUN! It would be great if I could just be denied, but then nothing else happens.

4. 11f asks if I have been "adjudicated as a mental defective" or been committed to a mental institution. Does a psychiatric diagnosis like Bi-polar II qualify me as a mental defective? It says this is determined by a court in the question 11f reference. It says committment to mental institution does not include voluntary committment. What do you think?

5. If I can not acquire a firearm through this method, what else can I do, that does not involve passing a background check or even passing the safety tests?

6. What is your overall impression of all of this? Do you think I can do it? Anything else? Any questions for me?

It may also be important to note that I live in and am a resident of California, and I have read that states such as California and Colorado have more particular gun laws. Will this affect anything?


Thanks for reading, I know I put a lot of information and maybe I could have been more concise, but I must be absolutely sure I know what I'm doing and so I tend to really spell everything out so I don't miss having one of my questions being answered or simply being reassured about something. I'm not always the greatest decision maker, I can be impulsive and not think things through or take important things into consideration. I intend this post as a consultation to those here who hopefully are stronger in those areas of judgment than I am.

Yea, you absolutely will not be allowed to purchase a firearm because of felony arrests. Private sales in California require using a FFL.

 

[methylene blue]

Ask your attorney for advice - he should know if you are prohibited.

May I ask why you are in such a hurry?

My attorney is a family friend and he can not be included in this.

I am in a hurry because to me it makes sense, if I have decided that I definitely want to kill myself, to not be in a hurry is to just be lazy and/or cowardly. This is my mission, and so I must follow through with it, you know, not just talk the talk. I've been talking the talk for a while now and I want to prove to myself that I can accomplish something that really matters to me with some hard work, all by my own motive, with nobody else pushing me to work hard. I checked out in June 2019. I knew for sure that I was done giving life a chance. The last week has been brutal in that it's becoming very stressful for me keeping a lid on my fury and sadness. The despair is amplifying and I do not want to tolerate it for any longer than necessary.

Go into a woods and do it that way if you really are certain, I know you are in pain right now but think of the consequences.

Sorry to be an immature dick but I feel too aggressive to resist - FUCK how my death affects others. I hope the property becomes submerged in blood and drowns everybody nearby.

I don't know what state you're in, but that's a LOT of requirements. Here in Florida, you can walk into the gun shop, fill out the ATF 4473 and, as long as you pass the background check, walk out with the gun of your choice no further questions asked.

I've bought a lot of guns over the years, and here's what I know:
- A bi-polar diagnosis won't disqualify you at all
- Voluntary admission at a psych hospital won't disqualify you
- Involuntary admission at a psych hospital won't necessarily disqualify you, either, especially if it's just the 72-hour hold
- Being "adjucated a mental defect" means that a judge has ruled you incompetent (you usually hear about this at trials where someone's trying to use it as a defense). That's fairly rare, really.
- I don't think any of your arrests should disqualify you, UNLESS they were felonies. A single felony of any kind will disqualify you.
- Don't say you're addicted to drugs. It IS illegal to lie on the form, but chances are they won't know about that one (same with the question about denouncing your allegiance to the USA... really, who on Earth would actually answer that one yes?)
- I've seen people get declined at gun shows and even in a local gun shop many times, and all of them just looked disappointed and walked away. I've never seen anyone get in trouble just for failing the background check.

Hope this helps.

I walked into a Big 5 Sporting Goods here in California, noticed they sold guns, and asked one of the managers what the procedure was. He said I would have to pass the 30 question test, pass a background check, and then come back and pick it up once I am approved. He didn't mention anything about the hands-on gun handling test (SHD, Safe handling demonstration) like the website of my preferred FFL does.

So let's say I don't say I'm addicted to drugs. There is information somewhere, in SOME system, of my psychiatric diagnoses, one of which is Substance Use Disorder. I went to 2 drug rehab programs and through my county and my health insurance had a case coordinator/county worker document my mental health history. I don't know how accessible this information is, where it is located or if the NICS check will find it, but it's out there. How could I deny being addicted to drugs if they have information of a diagnosis or rehab treatment history?

Also, say I "lie" on the forum when I actually misunderstood the question or wasn't sure about the technicality of my answer? Could they accuse me of lying just because I was misinformed or didn't know? Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.

Lots of people have given good advice and since you live in California, yes it would be really difficult for you to legally obtain a firearm. I would suggest looking into an alternative method if possible. However, if that isn't an option and you are still determined to acquire a firearm, then look into the gun show loophole. IANAL, but there are certain states that don't require a background check when buying from a private seller and most of the time, it is for long guns (rifles and shotguns) so shotguns do fit that criteria.

All in all, I would still strongly suggest you to look at other means like hanging or jumping. Yes, it is still really scary and for hanging I would go with partial rather than full suspension and make sure the ligature and the material can support your weight and not break. Hanging is certainly harder to pull off than jumping, however, jumping requires one to be of sufficient height and of solid ground. I do not recommend the GGB (Golden Gate Bridge) as that is highly monitored and also difficult to access. If you have a car and can go to a secluded place or another state then I would do so to look for other high places to leap should you decide on jumping.

Thanks for your feedback. I will complete my research right after I catch up to replying on this thread, but I have discovered a muzzle-loaders website which says they rush-ship directly to customer's doors throughout the United States, except for customers in New Jersey, Washington D.C. & New York City as well as all pistol orders within New York State. No California prohibitions? Hmm. It seems too good to be true so far.

If for some reason I can not acquire a muzzle-loader then I'll have to gather information about an alternate method as quickly as possible; not knowing the specifics of this plan B yet is unsettling to me because I want this vision of suicide to be coming into plain sight. I want it to seem like it is going to be a guarantee. I do not want to let myself down. A successful suicide as I see it is a grand accomplishment. Grand accomplishments are not plentiful in my life and so it is hard for me to believe that I can pull this off and so I am easily dissuaded.

Yea, you absolutely will not be allowed to purchase a firearm because of felony arrests. Private sales in California require using a FFL.

I don't have any felony arrests.

 

[sleepy dog]

Yea, I just checked arrests 3 and 5. They are not felonies in Cali but are in most other states, that's shocking. You probably wont be denied a purchase, but it might take 10 days.

 

[oxymoron]

Hello SS members,


Down to brass tax - I am now in a living situation (renting an apartment individually, living alone) which will be safe for buying a gun and shooting myself in. I gathered a couple resources in one of the megathreads:


The gun I will buy: (from budsgunshop.com) https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/42605


Maverick 88 12GA 18.5" CYL 6RD


The ammo I will buy: (also from budsgunshop.com) https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/cPath/656_2081/products_id/60359


Winchester 12 Ga. 2 3/4" 9 Pellets #00 Buck

I have visited the website of my local FFL which is located right in my city (described as "Preferred FFL dealer!" who also does ammo shipments). According to their site, the procedure for receiving the gun includes:

- filling out and submitting the ATF's 4473 Firearm Transaction Record, a 6 page pdf file which I have downloaded and reviewed. I am uncertain I will pass the NICS background check because I have a mental disorder diagnosis of Bi-polar II disorder and Substance Use Disorder. I have voluntarily admitted myself to mental health hospitals on a handful of occasions but have never been admitted involuntarily, according to my own knowledge. I will return to this when I list my questions at the end.

- passing the Firearms Safety quiz (30 questions, must answer 23 correct to pass). The exam can be taken at the FFL gun shop and the information to study is supposedly online. This to me sounds like the easiest criterion.

- passing a hands-on demonstration of the ability to use the firearm, also done at the FFL gun shop location, test measures ability to lock safety, empty clips, and load and shoot gun with a "dummy" bullet. Something like that. Not having an actual gun to practice with, I guess I'll just have to learn this by watching videos...??? Of someone using the exact same gun???

So, does this all sound like the standard criteria for acquiring a gun? Am I missing something or am I misinformed?

Here are the rest of my questions and concerns. Most have to do with the ATF 4473 form and the NICS check.

I'm attaching a copy of the ATF form so people reading this can reference it to what I'm talking about.

NUMBER 11 (a-i)

Here is my criminal record:

1. Arrest for public intoxication (647-f) (5 years ago)
2. Arrest for public intoxication, revocation of (informal) probation (4 years ago)
3. Arrest for possession of controlled substance, drug paraphernalia and revocation of (informal) probation (4 years ago)
4. Arrest for public intoxication and revocation of (informal) probation (3 years ago)
5. Arrest for hit-and-run driving accident and reckless driving (4 months ago, case is still active in court, my lawyer is still working on it)

I have never been sentenced to jail time. I spent one night in the "drunk tank" in jail for my first arrest and for the others I spent the night at the police station, just to sober up and be released in the morning with a court date basically.

Arrests 3 and 4 can be found through an online search of me. 1 and 2 seem to have vanished and dissolved. I successfully completed the DEJ program in court to resolve (expunge might be the right term) my drug possession charge. So I don't really know what has stayed on my record but I'm pretty sure background checks (at least the ones employers do for new hires) can only find the arrests for public intoxication. Some organization (mental health) must have record of my psychiatric diagnoses and I wonder if and how the NICS test would find that information.

1. So my first question is, what will the NICS find about me?

2. Say I mark "no" for 11e (are you addicted to drugs? question), and the NICS finds out that I lied. Will I get in trouble for not saying "yes"? Could I go to prison?

3. Say I don't lie, put down all honest answers but I am denied by the NICS. Will I get in trouble just for being denied? Will an unqualified applicant be prosecuted for attempting to acquire a gun? THIS IS MY MOST EAGER QUESTION. I DON'T WANT TO TURN IN THE REPORT, BE DENIED, AND THEN BE CHARGED WITH CRIMINAL OFFENSES FOR TRYING TO BUY A GUN! It would be great if I could just be denied, but then nothing else happens.

4. 11f asks if I have been "adjudicated as a mental defective" or been committed to a mental institution. Does a psychiatric diagnosis like Bi-polar II qualify me as a mental defective? It says this is determined by a court in the question 11f reference. It says committment to mental institution does not include voluntary committment. What do you think?

5. If I can not acquire a firearm through this method, what else can I do, that does not involve passing a background check or even passing the safety tests?

6. What is your overall impression of all of this? Do you think I can do it? Anything else? Any questions for me?

It may also be important to note that I live in and am a resident of California, and I have read that states such as California and Colorado have more particular gun laws. Will this affect anything?


Thanks for reading, I know I put a lot of information and maybe I could have been more concise, but I must be absolutely sure I know what I'm doing and so I tend to really spell everything out so I don't miss having one of my questions being answered or simply being reassured about something. I'm not always the greatest decision maker, I can be impulsive and not think things through or take important things into consideration. I intend this post as a consultation to those here who hopefully are stronger in those areas of judgment than I am.

Try armslist.com for getting a gun. Read about the website and how it works. It might not need a background check at all.

 

[Rachel74]

My attorney is a family friend and he can not be included in this.

I am in a hurry because to me it makes sense, if I have decided that I definitely want to kill myself, to not be in a hurry is to just be lazy and/or cowardly. This is my mission, and so I must follow through with it, you know, not just talk the talk. I've been talking the talk for a while now and I want to prove to myself that I can accomplish something that really matters to me with some hard work, all by my own motive, with nobody else pushing me to work hard. I checked out in June 2019. I knew for sure that I was done giving life a chance. The last week has been brutal in that it's becoming very stressful for me keeping a lid on my fury and sadness. The despair is amplifying and I do not want to tolerate it for any longer than necessary.



Sorry to be an immature dick but I feel too aggressive to resist - FUCK how my death affects others. I hope the property becomes submerged in blood and drowns everybody nearby.



I walked into a Big 5 Sporting Goods here in California, noticed they sold guns, and asked one of the managers what the procedure was. He said I would have to pass the 30 question test, pass a background check, and then come back and pick it up once I am approved. He didn't mention anything about the hands-on gun handling test (SHD, Safe handling demonstration) like the website of my preferred FFL does.

So let's say I don't say I'm addicted to drugs. There is information somewhere, in SOME system, of my psychiatric diagnoses, one of which is Substance Use Disorder. I went to 2 drug rehab programs and through my county and my health insurance had a case coordinator/county worker document my mental health history. I don't know how accessible this information is, where it is located or if the NICS check will find it, but it's out there. How could I deny being addicted to drugs if they have information of a diagnosis or rehab treatment history?

Also, say I "lie" on the forum when I actually misunderstood the question or wasn't sure about the technicality of my answer? Could they accuse me of lying just because I was misinformed or didn't know? Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.



Thanks for your feedback. I will complete my research right after I catch up to replying on this thread, but I have discovered a muzzle-loaders website which says they rush-ship directly to customer's doors throughout the United States, except for customers in New Jersey, Washington D.C. & New York City as well as all pistol orders within New York State. No California prohibitions? Hmm. It seems too good to be true so far.

If for some reason I can not acquire a muzzle-loader then I'll have to gather information about an alternate method as quickly as possible; not knowing the specifics of this plan B yet is unsettling to me because I want this vision of suicide to be coming into plain sight. I want it to seem like it is going to be a guarantee. I do not want to let myself down. A successful suicide as I see it is a grand accomplishment. Grand accomplishments are not plentiful in my life and so it is hard for me to believe that I can pull this off and so I am easily dissuaded.



I don't have any felony arrests.

No comment on the immature dick but you are going about it the wrong way. You have had amazing advise on here so follow it but my guess is you'll do it your way. Good luck with what you do in the future. Remember this is your death and no one else's so please don't do this on someone else's property. If you want a good death follow the advise shown on this forum.

 

[methylene blue]

No comment on the immature dick but you are going about it the wrong way. You have had amazing advise on here so follow it but my guess is you'll do it your way. Good luck with what you do in the future. Remember this is your death and no one else's so please don't do this on someone else's property. If you want a good death follow the advise shown on this forum.

You make it sound like I'm just rejecting everybody's input. That is not what I am doing. I am appreciative and considerate. Accusing me of going about something "the wrong way" shows that you have misinterpreted me and have not given me a fair enough chance. You don't know me at all so do not put me in such a bad light.

 

[Rachel74]

You make it sound like I'm just rejecting everybody's input. That is not what I am doing. I am appreciative and considerate. Accusing me of going about something "the wrong way" shows that you have misinterpreted me and have not given me a fair enough chance. You don't know me at all so do not put me in such a bad light.

You are in a bad light as you don't care about killing yourself on someone else's property. I wish I could feel like that as me giving is a shit about others is why I'm still here so im probably jealous of you.

 

[methylene blue]

You are in a bad light as you don't care about killing yourself on someone else's property. I wish I could feel like that as me giving is a shit about others is why I'm still here so im probably jealous of you.

That is NOT a bad light. We don't share a certain moral is all it is. Leave it at that please. I am not a villain.

 

[Rachel74]

That is NOT a bad light. We don't share a certain moral is all it is. Leave it at that please. I am not a villain.

Well good luck anyway and I hope you get your licence.

 

[cryptic_cynic]

Good for you for not caring about "devaluing" someone's "property".
I don't know why, but it seems many on this forum are precious little bitches who care about the feelings of the disgusting trash that is the average person, even though clearly the average person has never extended the same consideration to you. Ignore them.

Anyway, unfortunately, the reality is that California is a disgustingly authoritarian state that has no regard at all for the second amendment. They have desperately been trying for many years to become like European idiots who apparently have given up their natural right to self-defense.

As such, obtaining any weapon in that state legally would be extremely difficult, especially given the potential issues with your record. Even if the things you mentioned are not technically disqualifying, I would fear that the authoritarian fucks in California would find a way to twist things against you in their anti gun zealotry. Currently, there are already many states passing "red flag laws" that further destroy the rights of people with any mental illness to own firearms.

In my opinion, trying to obtain a firearm legally in California would be more trouble than it's worth. If you are unable or unwilling to either move to a gun friendly state or use the black market, you may need to look for another method.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Rachel74]

Love it, precious little bitches

 

[Pykul]

My attorney is a family friend and he can not be included in this.

I am in a hurry because to me it makes sense, if I have decided that I definitely want to kill myself, to not be in a hurry is to just be lazy and/or cowardly. This is my mission, and so I must follow through with it, you know, not just talk the talk. I've been talking the talk for a while now and I want to prove to myself that I can accomplish something that really matters to me with some hard work, all by my own motive, with nobody else pushing me to work hard. I checked out in June 2019. I knew for sure that I was done giving life a chance. The last week has been brutal in that it's becoming very stressful for me keeping a lid on my fury and sadness. The despair is amplifying and I do not want to tolerate it for any longer than necessary.



Sorry to be an immature dick but I feel too aggressive to resist - FUCK how my death affects others. I hope the property becomes submerged in blood and drowns everybody nearby.



I walked into a Big 5 Sporting Goods here in California, noticed they sold guns, and asked one of the managers what the procedure was. He said I would have to pass the 30 question test, pass a background check, and then come back and pick it up once I am approved. He didn't mention anything about the hands-on gun handling test (SHD, Safe handling demonstration) like the website of my preferred FFL does.

So let's say I don't say I'm addicted to drugs. There is information somewhere, in SOME system, of my psychiatric diagnoses, one of which is Substance Use Disorder. I went to 2 drug rehab programs and through my county and my health insurance had a case coordinator/county worker document my mental health history. I don't know how accessible this information is, where it is located or if the NICS check will find it, but it's out there. How could I deny being addicted to drugs if they have information of a diagnosis or rehab treatment history?

Also, say I "lie" on the forum when I actually misunderstood the question or wasn't sure about the technicality of my answer? Could they accuse me of lying just because I was misinformed or didn't know? Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.



Thanks for your feedback. I will complete my research right after I catch up to replying on this thread, but I have discovered a muzzle-loaders website which says they rush-ship directly to customer's doors throughout the United States, except for customers in New Jersey, Washington D.C. & New York City as well as all pistol orders within New York State. No California prohibitions? Hmm. It seems too good to be true so far.

If for some reason I can not acquire a muzzle-loader then I'll have to gather information about an alternate method as quickly as possible; not knowing the specifics of this plan B yet is unsettling to me because I want this vision of suicide to be coming into plain sight. I want it to seem like it is going to be a guarantee. I do not want to let myself down. A successful suicide as I see it is a grand accomplishment. Grand accomplishments are not plentiful in my life and so it is hard for me to believe that I can pull this off and so I am easily dissuaded.



I don't have any felony arrests.

In the time required to pass the background check, you can build a slam fire 12ga zip gun for about $25. See YouTube.

 

[methylene blue]

Try armslist.com for getting a gun. Read about the website and how it works. It might not need a background check at all.

Looks like a good resource, thanks for sharing. It looks like most sellers don't ship and the ones who do only send to FFLs. I'll keep it bookmarked though.

EDIT: Here's a redirect to my new thread: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...om-a-muzzleloader-buff-the-end-is-near.22992/