Venting My parents still pretend I’m perfectly fine lol

[Anxieyote]

Dad took me out to get chicken wings last night at a restaurant in town. He gave me a lecture about the importance of hard work, and asked me about my future career goals.

Dad…have you been living under a rock? I'm almost 30 with no discernible job skills and I dropped out of college years ago. I checked myself into a mental health facility just a month ago for suicidal thoughts.

You could say he's encouraging me, but at this point, I think he's living in fantasy land. Something is obviously wrong with me mentally, and he talks about me doing things like business management or taking on "leadership roles".

I can barely get dressed in the morning and walk out the door without having a mental breakdown.

At this point, it feels like he's plugging his ears and saying, "I can't hear you!!" whenever I dare to even mention anything relating to my mental issues. He didn't even inquire about my experience at the psych ward, and he pretends like it didn't happen.

There is no "going back to normal" as far as I'm concerned. Maybe some of you would think it's sweet that he's still encouraging me to find a job I love, but that's the least of my concern when I ruminate about ending my life daily.

I'm in survival mode, and I'm doing everything I can just to keep my head above water—being ambitious with my career goals is not something that's even on the table at this point.

It's the equivalent of going up to someone who's drowning, and saying, "Have you thought about not drowning and learning how to swim?" as they suffocate and die in front of you.

 

[Pluto]

Sounds like he's in his own world. Even if he means well, it's extremely detrimental. Even more so when we are actually growing up under their leadership.

 

[Dot]

Dad took me out to get chicken wings last night at a restaurant in town. He gave me a lecture about the importance of hard work, and asked me about my future career goals.

Dad…have you been living under a rock? I'm almost 30 with no discernible job skills and I dropped out of college years ago. I checked myself into a mental health facility just a month ago for suicidal thoughts.

You could say he's encouraging me, but at this point, I think he's living in fantasy land. Something is obviously wrong with me mentally, and he talks about me doing things like business management or taking on "leadership roles".

I can barely get dressed in the morning and walk out the door without having a mental breakdown.

At this point, it feels like he's plugging his ears and saying, "I can't hear you!!" whenever I dare to even mention anything relating to my mental issues. He didn't even inquire about my experience at the psych ward, and he pretends like it didn't happen.

There is no "going back to normal" as far as I'm concerned. Maybe some of you would think it's sweet that he's still encouraging me to find a job I love, but that's the least of my concern when I ruminate about ending my life daily.

I'm in survival mode, and I'm doing everything I can just to keep my head above water—being ambitious with my career goals is not something that's even on the table at this point.

It's the equivalent of going up to someone who's drowning, and saying, "Have you thought about not drowning and learning how to swim?" as they suffocate and die in front of you.

Cld b ur fathr = in survvl mde also. Fls sme w/ own parnts. Is v dffclt 4 thm.

 

[Sanva]

i understand, my parents are the same way, they always act like there's nothing wrong with me or if they acknowledge it they pretend like it's my personal choice that I'm in a bad place mentally. My mom is convinced that all my issues will just suddenly disappear at some point and I will become exactly like her.

I suppose it's just natural for parents to see the best in their children and it's very painful for them to see things for what they really are. Neurotypicals just generally have a hard time understanding us I think, it's a weird thing where they just lack empathy, it feels like in their brains it's "well I've never felt suicidal and my career is very important to me, so it must be the same for everyone else" when it's not.

i guess he doesn't have bad intentions, he's just not really capable of understanding what you're going through. but i understand it can be frustrating. If all you can do is survive, do that.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Poor guy probably has no idea what to do.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Maybe some of you would think it's sweet that he's still encouraging me to find a job I love, but that's the least of my concern when I ruminate about ending my life daily.

No it is not sweet at all. It is borderline abusive to say the least. Normies true religion nowadays is the law of attraction. They really try hard to believe that positive mindset is a prerequisite to good living and not the other way around!! It is so fucking "hard" for them to comprehend that life can be bullshit for some people with no fault of their own. They are too simplistic in their thinking that optimism will somehow shield them from the horrors of life but we all know that can only go so far until the great equalizer (death) reaches all of them. Other world religions including Abrahmic religions like Islam purported such a toxic message that god is perfect and makes no mistakes and it is always on the person when they suffer because they dont choose to change themselves and get "straight" with god. They fail to see that the most content and happy people in the world are also the most vile and distant from their perfect God. It is truly sickening concept, most delusional, most pervasive more than any other ideological diseases I see around

Fuck laws of attraction, fuck religions that promote crap like that. Fuck the secret, fuck Oprah

 

[Lost Magic]

Yeah, it is because you poor dad is brainwashed by the world's thinking just like mostly everybody else. I am sorry you are going through this. It is not a kind world to the mentally ill, in fact our society (and the way it is constructed) makes it worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think some people live in denial as the harsh reality is too painful for them to bear. Of course he should try to accept what is actually going on, as it can do no good, denying the truth. It sounds frustrating what you have to go through, I wish you the best.

 

[Anxieyote]

Yeah, it is because you poor dad is brainwashed by the world's thinking just like mostly everybody else. I am sorry you are going through this. It is not a kind world to the mentally ill, in fact our society (and the way it is constructed) makes it worse.

The "you are only worth as much as the money you make" principle. He's embarrassed to have a low-value son who's not operating on standard human protocols.

I remember Mom chewing him out because he had his coworkers over for dinner one night, and she was talking about me. One of them said to Dad, "I didn't know you had a son."

That happened when I was around 24, so I probably embarrass him even more now that I'm approaching 30.

Literally my Dad right now:

 

[ihatemylife]

Dad took me out to get chicken wings last night at a restaurant in town. He gave me a lecture about the importance of hard work, and asked me about my future career goals.

Dad…have you been living under a rock? I'm almost 30 with no discernible job skills and I dropped out of college years ago. I checked myself into a mental health facility just a month ago for suicidal thoughts.

You could say he's encouraging me, but at this point, I think he's living in fantasy land. Something is obviously wrong with me mentally, and he talks about me doing things like business management or taking on "leadership roles".

I can barely get dressed in the morning and walk out the door without having a mental breakdown.

At this point, it feels like he's plugging his ears and saying, "I can't hear you!!" whenever I dare to even mention anything relating to my mental issues. He didn't even inquire about my experience at the psych ward, and he pretends like it didn't happen.

There is no "going back to normal" as far as I'm concerned. Maybe some of you would think it's sweet that he's still encouraging me to find a job I love, but that's the least of my concern when I ruminate about ending my life daily.

I'm in survival mode, and I'm doing everything I can just to keep my head above water—being ambitious with my career goals is not something that's even on the table at this point.

It's the equivalent of going up to someone who's drowning, and saying, "Have you thought about not drowning and learning how to swim?" as they suffocate and die in front of you.

I hate when people do things like that. Dont they understand if you could do those thing you would. It actually makes people feel even more isolated and misunderstood.

 

[Zzzzz]

I hate when people do things like that. Dont they understand if you could do those thing you would. It actually makes people feel even more isolated and misunderstood.

So true. When people act like that it proves they don't understand. It is frustrating. People have a hard time accepting reality. They just judge by appearances. If someone looks young and healthy, they must be fine and completely capable of conforming to societies expectations. It's a great dis-service. A person can appear healthy but actually be dying.

 

[rationalis]

What should friends and family do instead? I can understand patiently listening to someone going through a rough time for a few weeks or months. But years, and most people would have no good idea how to be helpful.

 

[LittleJem]

I also hate that we are blamed for being ill. No matter how much scientific research I shared with my family, they think I am being difficult when I am bedridden and can't look after myself.

 

[Parnate]

I wanted to do a simple customer service job for Amazon, which I felt I could handle with my mental issues. But my father and sister felt it was below my level and too unprestigious , I have done a post graduation ( in a very horrible way , I just achieved the degree not the knowledge or capability) I am currently unemployed and doing a course more suitable for my qualifications and reputation. Something which has a future. A good field , a good job Something with lot many stressed that I won't be able to bear, Something that sooner or later will only result in me leaving that job
I just can't take a tough stand with my family, I wish I could have somehow done that, but I can't.

No it is not sweet at all. It is borderline abusive to say the least. Normies true religion nowadays is the law of attraction. They really try hard to believe that positive mindset is a prerequisite to good living and not the other way around!! It is so fucking "hard" for them to comprehend that life can be bullshit for some people with no fault of their own. They are too simplistic in their thinking that optimism will somehow shield them from the horrors of life but we all know that can only go so far until the great equalizer (death) reaches all of them. Other world religions including Abrahmic religions like Islam purported such a toxic message that god is perfect and makes no mistakes and it is always on the person when they suffer because they dont choose to change themselves and get "straight" with god. They fail to see that the most content and happy people in the world are also the most vile and distant from their perfect God. It is truly sickening concept, most delusional, most pervasive more than any other ideological diseases I see around

Fuck laws of attraction, fuck religions that promote crap like that. Fuck the secret, fuck Oprah

My sister, a close friend and my dad are bombarding me with this positive attitude bullshit

 

[Gsvko]

Yup, some people will just never understand. They think that what helped them will surely be helpful for the other as well, some people can't empathize with MH issues. My bro thinks I should take up a hobby, my parents only ask me for physical health even though they're familiar with my brain rotting (in theory).

I have a funny story, if I somehow survive I want to get a tattoo of a snake with legs. My granny is religious woman, bible says snake (devil) has legs.
Field (ex) of my study was biology related. My grandma doesn't know what biology is, I tried to explain many times but she always forgets (she only remembers that I can be a teach and that's good enough for her, at her time it was very stable and reputable).
I can say: "Grandma, I study biology, snakes don't have legs," it won't mean anything to her. If I show her a picture, she says it's hiding them.
I cannot talk about biology with my grandma, but there are people out there that I can do that with. She still loves me, but she can't understand some things.

This is just how I view things atm, sorry if that's offensive to someone.