Story My parents piss me off

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

I'm going to start this thread off by saying that i am forever grateful for how my parents raised me, taught me how to act, and how much i know they love me. I am grateful for their socioeconomic status that has allowed me to go study my dream major with no student loans. However, they just want to hold everything above my head. I know this story is about to sound like i'm a spoiled ungrateful piece of shit, but please hear me out.

I think i started to notice this around 8th grade when they would limit my screen time to my class rank and current grades in school. Looking back, i am grateful that they did do that because it taught me good study habits, but it has left me with constant anxiety to be "certain" about things. I hate when there a variables involved in things, thats why i usually ask for a "blank check" (a favor or a promise to a monitory supliment when something unanticipated occurs) from my friends as gifts for occasions. But regardless, thats not the point. I am pissed off that my parents turned me into basically a machine that thrives off of variables being known and ill be stressed when things are not known.

The main issue arrises when my father agreed to finance half of my research laptop, under the stipulation that i would have to finance the other half myself. Great, i have 5k in the bank for a laptop, thanks for saving me 2 thousand dad. When he learned of my plan to take what i had in the bank out to finance my half, he changed the clause to I have to earn the money from working a job rather than my savings from past jobs. Father, i appreciate that you want me to learn how to manage my time, but i have so manny other things occurring in my life (i volunteer my extra time to place the hours on job apps for when i get out of University).

So, i think to myself, i have my current laptop, i can just program a few odd jobs in my free time, no big deal. But no, it must be a service/ in person job. I understand that my father is trying to get me to socialize, but he gave me severe anxiety to begin with that i just can't cope with other humans that i don't know. i overanalyze everything, (which is why im a great chemical scientist). I don't know, i just don't like things being held over my head.

I appreciate what my father is trying to do for me, but i need to learn how to live my life without my parents involvement, i need to learn without tokenizing rewards for things that my parents want me to do. Self determination has proven to be more effective on me than any reward can be, because self determination teaches me how much i really had to work for that laptop.

I don't know, my parents have held more things above my head, like my education. Pay for it, or don't, don't tell me you want me to take a minor in Economy. I understand they want the best for me and are trying to teach me, i just want to be left alone. i want to learn things on my own. i want to exists and not be a man-child like some of my "friends".

For whomever read this far, you obviously have a lot of free time. please comment, im spiraling right now, im overthinking again

 

[manta]

Hey,
My mom used to hold things over my head a lot when I lived with her. She would make decisions for me and if I didn't follow them I was expected to move out (I had no money, either, so I'd be homeless lol). Once I left and moved to my dads my situation improved a lot, she didn't have that control over me anymore. I still love her, but we're just different people with different perspectives on life and it clashed a lot.

What I'm saying is maybe give yourself some distance from your parents and see if it helps. It seems they're causing you lots of stress. If you distance yourself financially from them a bit, they won't be able to push you around and hold things over your head. I am sure your dad wants you to be happy. But he doesn't know you as well as you know your own self.
Take care

 

[MissionSucksAssFul]

ye, daz parents for ya... they just want us to be safe and happy, so they try to prepare us for their world forgetting the fact that it's mostly a fake world and their child sees that way more clearly than them...

But he doesn't know you as well as you know your own self.

also THIS! NOONE will EVER know you as well as you do

 

[guayabas]

sounds like your dad is moving the goal post which is aggravating for sure and pretty controlling. idk, if I had kids and i gave them money and later was like, "you know, I think they would benefit from earning money at a job socializing," I wouldn't demand my kid do that. I would just talk to them and tell them why I think they should consider it. I would also consider their input about it as well. You're already in school, that's a huge amount of work on it's own and you deserve some down time

 

[81-Z@P@D]

I'm going to start this thread off by saying that i am forever grateful for how my parents raised me, taught me how to act, and how much i know they love me. I am grateful for their socioeconomic status that has allowed me to go study my dream major with no student loans. However, they just want to hold everything above my head. I know this story is about to sound like i'm a spoiled ungrateful piece of shit, but please hear me out.

I think i started to notice this around 8th grade when they would limit my screen time to my class rank and current grades in school. Looking back, i am grateful that they did do that because it taught me good study habits, but it has left me with constant anxiety to be "certain" about things. I hate when there a variables involved in things, thats why i usually ask for a "blank check" (a favor or a promise to a monitory supliment when something unanticipated occurs) from my friends as gifts for occasions. But regardless, thats not the point. I am pissed off that my parents turned me into basically a machine that thrives off of variables being known and ill be stressed when things are not known.

The main issue arrises when my father agreed to finance half of my research laptop, under the stipulation that i would have to finance the other half myself. Great, i have 5k in the bank for a laptop, thanks for saving me 2 thousand dad. When he learned of my plan to take what i had in the bank out to finance my half, he changed the clause to I have to earn the money from working a job rather than my savings from past jobs. Father, i appreciate that you want me to learn how to manage my time, but i have so manny other things occurring in my life (i volunteer my extra time to place the hours on job apps for when i get out of University).

So, i think to myself, i have my current laptop, i can just program a few odd jobs in my free time, no big deal. But no, it must be a service/ in person job. I understand that my father is trying to get me to socialize, but he gave me severe anxiety to begin with that i just can't cope with other humans that i don't know. i overanalyze everything, (which is why im a great chemical scientist). I don't know, i just don't like things being held over my head.

I appreciate what my father is trying to do for me, but i need to learn how to live my life without my parents involvement, i need to learn without tokenizing rewards for things that my parents want me to do. Self determination has proven to be more effective on me than any reward can be, because self determination teaches me how much i really had to work for that laptop.

I don't know, my parents have held more things above my head, like my education. Pay for it, or don't, don't tell me you want me to take a minor in Economy. I understand they want the best for me and are trying to teach me, i just want to be left alone. i want to learn things on my own. i want to exists and not be a man-child like some of my "friends".

For whomever read this far, you obviously have a lot of free time. please comment, im spiraling right now, im overthinking again

You arn't overthinking, you just described precisely the conundrum of being a parent.