We should all spend more time reading histories. Our current political climate should require all to be more informed.
Have your family members overcome depression themselves? Do they know how it works?
I am sorry they are uninformed.
My dad has bipolar, and he didn't actually say much to me, so I think he knows a little how depression and suicidal ideation feels. But I don't talk to him about it in fear of him reporting me. I cannot trust absolutely anyone not anonymous with my suicidal thoughts/plans. That said, my mom is annoying in the sense that she has grown up in poverty and abuse, which is horrible, but since she was lucky not to have become catatonic, develop derealization, nor addiction, nor even anxiety or PTSD, she is just naturally very resilient. But since she cannot put herself in other's shoes, that other people may be different despite experiencing the same, it's hard to talk about it with her. The idea that some brains don't develop PTSD from something like war, while others do, is foreign to some. Many people think we are all the same, so if I survive war, you should have been able too.
But eventually they will be faced with a phone call from paramedics that I was found dead. Then they'll see how resilient they are, and if they can just go to work, or endure even just a bus ride without tears flowing down the cheeks, or if they feel meaningfulness in exercising or how easy it to just "take a walk, you'll feel better". I hope they will hear that "advice" thrown at them for an entire year until they wanna punch their therapist in the face.
I don't wanna punish them, I'll write a sweet suicide letter. But I just don't want to fight anymore either. Nothing works to make me better. It's time for capitulation.
I really gotta ramp up my ctb planning then before I get institutionalized.
