My only hope of recovery

[Mr2005]

Is to do everything in my power to to get something and hope I can't

 

[Brick In The Wall]

But if you're doing everything in your power to obtain it, why would you hope that you can't? Is it like a false hope or something that keeps you going? Like dangling a carrot in front of yourself or something.

 

[Mr2005]

But if you're doing everything in your power to obtain it, why would you hope that you can't? Is it like a false hope or something that keeps you going? Like dangling a carrot in front of yourself or something.

It was the false hope other people would do it for me because I was lazy and entitled. If they had then it wouldn't really matter but they didn't and I've had to live with the consequences ever since. If I find out it could have been done the whole time that will be it and I'm expecting the worst. Potentially I could get my self out of this today or it could seal the deal. That's why I've been here for two years and haven't done it. That's why the life I've got just waits patiently to see if I can have one with her. I just can't risk it. Everything needs sorting first and I'm too depressed. This is where procrastinating gets you. Still haunted by the monster because it wasn't buried

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I had to be broken before I stopped relying on others to decide my fate. Then I realised they were useless and untrustworthy. No choice but to do it myself even though I was broken. I am sustained by carefully metered anger. It helps, but it comes at a price. I don't trust anyone any longer.
I hope you get what you need @Mr2005

 

[Mr2005]

I had to be broken before I stopped relying on others to decide my fate. Then I realised they were useless and untrustworthy. No choice but to do it myself even though I was broken. I am sustained by carefully metered anger. It helps, but it comes at a price. I don't trust anyone any longer.
I hope you get what you need @Mr2005

I don't lol. I actually quoted this to my mum, it may sound familiar. "I try and accept the reality of who I am in a world that has moved on, and figure out how to live with it. This is hard, maybe impossible"

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I don't lol. I actually quoted this to my mum, it may sound familiar. "I try and accept the reality of who I am in a world that has moved on, and figure out how to live with it. This is hard, maybe impossible"

Oh crap, if I'm being quoted, I'm hiding!