My number one fear when I ctb is the reaction people are going to have to my dead body. I know it's irrational because I will be dead by then but still. I don't live with my parents, and my roommates don't know me that well to care. My room door locks from the inside so, they probably won't notice I died until they smell my dead body. That's hella messed up right. It's also weird how it's so soon, my ctb date is in July.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,026
Yes, even know it is not my problem, it is still traumatic for others. This is why I want to be euthanised, everybody would know in advance and they wouldn't be shocked. I would be able to pass away on a bed. It is barbaric that people are forced to resort to these methods.
Yeah, that worries me too but as long as my brother and dad are still alive I will be found soon because if I don't answer their messages they panick and think I've ctb! (it all started last year since my failed attempt lol)
my parents rarely call me, if I'm lucky they will call every couple of days. My mom does this stupid thing where she intentionally doesn't call me because she wants me to call her first. And since I'm busy with work and school she thinks I'm ignoring her. My parents didn't take my other attempts seriously and they dont want to listen to me at all. They blame my suicidal ideation on something I've done wrong. Parents can really mess with you.
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poisonedminds
Student
- May 8, 2021
- 179
Same. I'm very worried about how I'll be found.
Like, SN makes your skin blue. I don't want that. I don't want to be found covered in blood or in puke. I don't want to be dismembered or torn into pieces.
I don't want my body to be swollen. I want to look like I just fell asleep very peacefully.
It's hard to chose a method that aligns with all that, but I just want to spare my family the extra pain.
Like, SN makes your skin blue. I don't want that. I don't want to be found covered in blood or in puke. I don't want to be dismembered or torn into pieces.
I don't want my body to be swollen. I want to look like I just fell asleep very peacefully.
It's hard to chose a method that aligns with all that, but I just want to spare my family the extra pain.
