Venting My Mother is Mad at Me and I Do Not Know Why

[UninformedLover]

I can not even begin to fathom why she is upset at me. It all began when I said Hi to her this morning. She didn't respond, instead choosing to give me such a dirty look and resumed whatever it was she was doing on her phone. That hurt me but I brushed it off and went to get some ice coffee before I started college for the first time today. When I got home, she opened the door and sucked her teeth at me for no reason. I knew it was directed at me I just didn't know why. I spent the rest of the day trying to talk to her about the classes but for most of the day she was passed out since she is a drug addict. She finally woke up and before I could speak my sister told our Mom "Uninformedlover is not paying attention in class" as a joke and our mother said " I don't care." in a disgustingly negative tone. It got really quiet and I just went back to my room and cried. I haven't even done anything to her so I don't understand why she is mad at me. And I know she is not in a bad mood in general because I overheard her talking to my sister normally. I am pretty sure they even joked around. I left my room to get something from the kitchen and she stared at me with a grimace on her face.

The only reason I can think of would be because I didn't wake my sister up for school but that makes no sense because that is not my responsibility and plus I actually forgot she has school. The pandemic has thrown off my sense of time. I thought it was the weekend anyway.

I know my mom hates me to some degree its very evident in the way she treats me. But its just not fair. I never did anything to her. If she didn't want kids welp she should of had an abortion I don't know. I keep trying to ignore these feelings but I'm so hurt. I just wanted to talk to her about school. I was very excited.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

As hard as it is, try not to internalize whatever the malfunction is with your mom. Her problem is her problem, and as a drug addict, this could explain all of it. Mentally protect yourself as best you can.

As a teenager, my mom used to love giving me the silent treatment, so my strategy would be to just give it right back to her. Oftentimes, I could feel her seething, because I would not communicate to her, and thereby, wouldn't empower her to acknowledge that she was giving me the silent treatment. This was definitely an effective survival tactic that helped me cope with living in my mom's home. As an aside, my mom was a (prescription) drug addict - abused all the pain killers.

 

[Deleted member 24434]

I'm so sorry love, tell us about your day that you were so excited about if that would even help in the smallest way. My mother wasn't an addict but she treated me with the same derision so I understand how that feels. Are you and your sister close? Can you confide in her?

 

[BornofDust]

I'm very sorry about that. It's not fair for her to take her issues and problems on you. She's clearly dealing ( and has been) dealing with things for sometime and don't know how to express that without taking it out it out on others, particularly those closes to them. Often times I fund that people who do this are also very emotionally immature who takes there anger and stress out on other people below them(in rank or authority), because it helps relives stress and makes them feel better about themselves. Unfortunately those types of people tend to not change. So I would try to detach yourself from the situation and try to distract yourself with something else. Since as you mentioned she already hates you long before this so she's probably not going to change, so I would try to understand that this is her issue that she's simply taking it out on you for her own screwed up reasons(even though as the mom that was her responsibility). So don't suppress your emotions, you can write your feeling in a journal ,or hell, even here like you just did now, and then try to sort of detach yourself from her so that when she does this again, it won't be as painful. Hope this helps.

 

[UninformedLover]

I'm so sorry love, tell us about your day that you were so excited about if that would even help in the smallest way. My mother wasn't an addict but she treated me with the same derision so I understand how that feels. Are you and your sister close? Can you confide in her?

My sister and I are close enough but she is pretty young - I would not want to burden her with such a thing. I appreciate your comment though. Thank you :)

 

[LetMeSleep4Ever]

You don't have to literally answer my questions here in public, they'll just be something for you to think about. What was your interaction with her before you said hi to her in the morning? I get the feeling it began with something else. You mentioned not waking your sister up. It's possible it might be just that, but possible too there was something else? Also do you ever feel your mother is jealous about something that you have?

Oh this is an old post. Hope things are better now.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

My mom is mad at me her whole life. But I know exactly why. She sees my father in me. Always saying that she regrets marrying him and that she would be happy if she didn't meet him. Here's a secret: she wouldn't. Cause she's a control freak, and so never in control.
My father can't look at me. Cause he hates himself. He never says anything and is totally reliant on my mother's control.
And here I am. A mix of these two freaks.