Venting My memory

[Mx_Pathetic]

Idk if ive got some type of memory loss or if my ADHD or depression is effecting my will to do things but I feel like shit because of it. I barely remember to do the normal hygienic things that humans do like (brushing teeth, washing body/hair, putting on deodorant, etc) I also forget to (eat, do washing, clean, etc) and the worst part is my parents will remind me to do things like washing, however with in a few minutes I forget. Sometimes depending on what it is, I'll get up and do it right away but if it's something I have to wait for I usually forget. And this doesn't just effect me this effects my pets as well. I forget to feed them sometimes. Thank god that my dog has to be feed daily so I remember since I do it everyday. I just feel so disgusted in myself and confused on why I can't remember half of the shit I'm meant to do. Like can my brain just give me a break and do some good use for once. My best friend gave me a plant, a type of succulent. Her words were "if you kill this I'll be shocked" the plant she gave me was easy to look after, she said I only had to water it like once a week. But...I never did..and it isn't just dead it was growing fungus on it.. I feel like that plant is me when it comes to me looking after myself. I'm 20, jobless and unable to do anything to help my parents or myself around the house because I either don't remember or have the biggest amount of lack of energy or care to actually do anything. Does this make me a bad person. Ik I'm lazy and Ik I'm useless and that's one of the reasons I don't feel a belong on the earth. Everyone else can do these things, why can't I?

 

[Hollowman]

Idk if ive got some type of memory loss or if my ADHD or depression is effecting my will to do things but I feel like shit because of it. I barely remember to do the normal hygienic things that humans do like (brushing teeth, washing body/hair, putting on deodorant, etc) I also forget to (eat, do washing, clean, etc) and the worst part is my parents will remind me to do things like washing, however with in a few minutes I forget. Sometimes depending on what it is, I'll get up and do it right away but if it's something I have to wait for I usually forget. And this doesn't just effect me this effects my pets as well. I forget to feed them sometimes. Thank god that my dog has to be feed daily so I remember since I do it everyday. I just feel so disgusted in myself and confused on why I can't remember half of the shit I'm meant to do. Like can my brain just give me a break and do some good use for once. My best friend gave me a plant, a type of succulent. Her words were "if you kill this I'll be shocked" the plant she gave me was easy to look after, she said I only had to water it like once a week. But...I never did..and it isn't just dead it was growing fungus on it.. I feel like that plant is me when it comes to me looking after myself. I'm 20, jobless and unable to do anything to help my parents or myself around the house because I either don't remember or have the biggest amount of lack of energy or care to actually do anything. Does this make me a bad person. Ik I'm lazy and Ik I'm useless and that's one of the reasons I don't feel a belong on the earth. Everyone else can do these things, why can't I?

I didn't mean to hit like but no that doesn't make you a bad person. I have memory problems too.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's such a cruel world we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own and it must be so tiring having to endure that, existence really is so torturous. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[DesperateOne]

Idk if ive got some type of memory loss or if my ADHD or depression is effecting my will to do things but I feel like shit because of it. I barely remember to do the normal hygienic things that humans do like (brushing teeth, washing body/hair, putting on deodorant, etc) I also forget to (eat, do washing, clean, etc) and the worst part is my parents will remind me to do things like washing, however with in a few minutes I forget. Sometimes depending on what it is, I'll get up and do it right away but if it's something I have to wait for I usually forget. And this doesn't just effect me this effects my pets as well. I forget to feed them sometimes. Thank god that my dog has to be feed daily so I remember since I do it everyday. I just feel so disgusted in myself and confused on why I can't remember half of the shit I'm meant to do. Like can my brain just give me a break and do some good use for once. My best friend gave me a plant, a type of succulent. Her words were "if you kill this I'll be shocked" the plant she gave me was easy to look after, she said I only had to water it like once a week. But...I never did..and it isn't just dead it was growing fungus on it.. I feel like that plant is me when it comes to me looking after myself. I'm 20, jobless and unable to do anything to help my parents or myself around the house because I either don't remember or have the biggest amount of lack of energy or care to actually do anything. Does this make me a bad person. Ik I'm lazy and Ik I'm useless and that's one of the reasons I don't feel a belong on the earth. Everyone else can do these things, why can't I?

You are not lazy and useless, you have something wrong with the brain that inhibits your executive function. I check pretty much most of your symptoms as well and I have treated myself a lot with alcohol in the past. I've been researching a lot this past few months and a comment on Reddit in r/adhd said that I should try CBD from any reputable American brand. He specified "American" because apparently they are way ahead in the industry of Hemp than Europeans and their CBD actually does have an effect on the body unlike most European brands. I researched around and there are apparently a ton of solid studies where researchers used Hemp with cannabonoids such as CBD, CBG, CBN etc... to treat conditions like ADHD, Schizophrenia (CBD acts as anti psychotic), autism, anxiety, MS, all with very promising yet still inconclusive results.

I said screw it and borrowed some money from my mom in order to purchase it. I know it sounds like I'm bullshitting, but when I smoked for the first time it felt like my entire life came into focus. It felt like my brain activated the center that is responsible for executive function. I felt normal for the first time in my life and I actually cried my eyes out. For around 8 hours I had better focus, organization skills, improved memory, my language problems went away and I actually knew how to read the room and talk to people. It felt so amazing, but I also felt sad at the same time since I realized how much of life I was missing out on for the last 22 years... When I had CBD I did a bunch of stuff like actually applying for a job, cleaned my room, started biking and really got into reading. Also did a bunch of chores at home every single day which totally shocked my parents. I know these things seem very basic for normal people, but for me it was an astronomical achivement, and I did it all on my own! It felt like I actually got autonomy over my own brain for once instead of being a walking zombie. After a around 2 weeks I ran out, but I had no money to buy more of it so I returned to the brain fog dissociated state.

You should give it a try and see if it does anything for you (if you can afford it of course). It has <0.02% THC in it so you do not have to worry about anxiety, paranoia or anything like what normal weed could give you. I researched a bunch of brands and a few good ones that I've found were Little Collins and Beleafer (I ordered mine from Beleafer). A package of 28g of CBD cost me around 100$ and it ships to Europe in 2 weeks. Btw I have nothing to do with these brands and if mods think that I'm promoting them for my own benefit they can delete this post.

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

You are not lazy and useless, you have something wrong with the brain that inhibits your executive function. I check pretty much most of your symptoms as well and I have treated myself a lot with alcohol in the past. I've been researching a lot this past few months and a comment on Reddit in r/adhd said that I should try CBD from any reputable American brand. He specified "American" because apparently they are way ahead in the industry of Hemp than Europeans and their CBD actually does have an effect on the body unlike most European brands. I researched around and there are apparently a ton of solid studies where researchers used Hemp with cannabonoids such as CBD, CBG, CBN etc... to treat conditions like ADHD, Schizophrenia (CBD acts as anti psychotic), autism, anxiety, MS, all with very promising yet still inconclusive results.

I said screw it and borrowed some money from my mom in order to purchase it. I know it sounds like I'm bullshitting, but when I smoked for the first time it felt like my entire life came into focus. It felt like my brain activated the center that is responsible for executive function. I felt normal for the first time in my life and I actually cried my eyes out. For around 8 hours I had better focus, organization skills, improved memory, my language problems went away and I actually knew how to read the room and talk to people. It felt so amazing, but I also felt sad at the same time since I realized how much of life I was missing out on for the last 22 years... When I had CBD I did a bunch of stuff like actually applying for a job, cleaned my room, started biking and really got into reading. Also did a bunch of chores at home every single day which totally shocked my parents. I know these things seem very basic for normal people, but for me it was an astronomical achivement, and I did it all on my own! It felt like I actually got autonomy over my own brain for once instead of being a walking zombie. After a around 2 weeks I ran out, but I had no money to buy more of it so I returned to the brain fog dissociated state.

You should give it a try and see if it does anything for you (if you can afford it of course). It has <0.02% THC in it so you do not have to worry about anxiety, paranoia or anything like what normal weed could give you. I researched a bunch of brands and a few good ones that I've found were Little Collins and Beleafer (I ordered mine from Beleafer). A package of 28g of CBD cost me around 100$ and it ships to Europe in 2 weeks. Btw I have nothing to do with these brands and if mods think that I'm promoting them for my own benefit they can delete this post.

Thank you. I'll definitely be seeing if I can get my hands on these. Everything you said if exactly how I feel ATM. I've screenshoted you're reply incase the mods do delete it. Again thank you I'll definitely be giving this more of a look/research.

 

[SpiderLink]

Idk if ive got some type of memory loss or if my ADHD or depression is effecting my will to do things but I feel like shit because of it. I barely remember to do the normal hygienic things that humans do like (brushing teeth, washing body/hair, putting on deodorant, etc) I also forget to (eat, do washing, clean, etc) and the worst part is my parents will remind me to do things like washing, however with in a few minutes I forget. Sometimes depending on what it is, I'll get up and do it right away but if it's something I have to wait for I usually forget. And this doesn't just effect me this effects my pets as well. I forget to feed them sometimes. Thank god that my dog has to be feed daily so I remember since I do it everyday. I just feel so disgusted in myself and confused on why I can't remember half of the shit I'm meant to do. Like can my brain just give me a break and do some good use for once. My best friend gave me a plant, a type of succulent. Her words were "if you kill this I'll be shocked" the plant she gave me was easy to look after, she said I only had to water it like once a week. But...I never did..and it isn't just dead it was growing fungus on it.. I feel like that plant is me when it comes to me looking after myself. I'm 20, jobless and unable to do anything to help my parents or myself around the house because I either don't remember or have the biggest amount of lack of energy or care to actually do anything. Does this make me a bad person. Ik I'm lazy and Ik I'm useless and that's one of the reasons I don't feel a belong on the earth. Everyone else can do these things, why can't I?

I have the worse memory going, I have ADHD and another disability that interferes with my memory and then on top of that depression made it MUCH worse. I feel brain dead at times

 

[BoredomSeeker]

I recognize this exact thing, I'll forget to do basically anything, the only reason I haven't accidentally dehydrated to death is that I have a standard routine to drink a glass when I wake up, drink a glass after school and drink a glass at dinner. Obviously this means I still drink way too little, but I'm surviving so far with an extra random glass here and there. I forget everything else as well, but my family strangely doesn't really think anything of it, just "Oh, classic BoredomSeeker, forgetting something I told him 2 seconds ago, haha."

I don't think it makes you useless, but it's just an unfortunate brain quirk that really sucks.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

It's not memory issue… most of the time when people are depressed they don't want to do anything.. The fact that you can even feed a dog is a good thing…. Be kind to yourself, take each day as it comes…

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

You are not lazy and useless, you have something wrong with the brain that inhibits your executive function. I check pretty much most of your symptoms as well and I have treated myself a lot with alcohol in the past. I've been researching a lot this past few months and a comment on Reddit in r/adhd said that I should try CBD from any reputable American brand. He specified "American" because apparently they are way ahead in the industry of Hemp than Europeans and their CBD actually does have an effect on the body unlike most European brands. I researched around and there are apparently a ton of solid studies where researchers used Hemp with cannabonoids such as CBD, CBG, CBN etc... to treat conditions like ADHD, Schizophrenia (CBD acts as anti psychotic), autism, anxiety, MS, all with very promising yet still inconclusive results.

I said screw it and borrowed some money from my mom in order to purchase it. I know it sounds like I'm bullshitting, but when I smoked for the first time it felt like my entire life came into focus. It felt like my brain activated the center that is responsible for executive function. I felt normal for the first time in my life and I actually cried my eyes out. For around 8 hours I had better focus, organization skills, improved memory, my language problems went away and I actually knew how to read the room and talk to people. It felt so amazing, but I also felt sad at the same time since I realized how much of life I was missing out on for the last 22 years... When I had CBD I did a bunch of stuff like actually applying for a job, cleaned my room, started biking and really got into reading. Also did a bunch of chores at home every single day which totally shocked my parents. I know these things seem very basic for normal people, but for me it was an astronomical achivement, and I did it all on my own! It felt like I actually got autonomy over my own brain for once instead of being a walking zombie. After a around 2 weeks I ran out, but I had no money to buy more of it so I returned to the brain fog dissociated state.

You should give it a try and see if it does anything for you (if you can afford it of course). It has <0.02% THC in it so you do not have to worry about anxiety, paranoia or anything like what normal weed could give you. I researched a bunch of brands and a few good ones that I've found were Little Collins and Beleafer (I ordered mine from Beleafer). A package of 28g of CBD cost me around 100$ and it ships to Europe in 2 weeks. Btw I have nothing to do with these brands and if mods think that I'm promoting them for my own benefit they can delete this post.

Do you have to get this prescribed by a doctor or do I just buy it from a dealer? Pls DM if you can. I'd like to talk more about this and how to go about using it and buying it. I'd like to give it a try.

 

[DesperateOne]

Do you have to get this prescribed by a doctor or do I just buy it from a dealer? Pls DM if you can. I'd like to talk more about this and how to go about using it and buying it. I'd like to give it a try.

No, not at all. Hemp rich in CBD is legal in US/CA and the entirety of Europe as far as I know. The reason for that is because these companies follow regulations and their products do not have more than 0.02% THC in it, which is what gives you that famous high when you smoke weed. You do not have to get it from a dealer or prescribed by a doctor, just get it from an online store. Here are the two ones that I was talking about - BeLeafer, Little Collins

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

No, not at all. Hemp rich in CBD is legal in US/CA and the entirety of Europe as far as I know. The reason for that is because these companies follow regulations and their products do not have more than 0.02% THC in it, which is what gives you that famous high when you smoke weed. You do not have to get it from a dealer or prescribed by a doctor, just get it from an online store. Here are the two ones that I was talking about - BeLeafer, Little Collins

I'll definitely look more into those sites. However I live in Australia and don't think they deliver here, but again I'll check it out

You are not lazy and useless, you have something wrong with the brain that inhibits your executive function. I check pretty much most of your symptoms as well and I have treated myself a lot with alcohol in the past. I've been researching a lot this past few months and a comment on Reddit in r/adhd said that I should try CBD from any reputable American brand. He specified "American" because apparently they are way ahead in the industry of Hemp than Europeans and their CBD actually does have an effect on the body unlike most European brands. I researched around and there are apparently a ton of solid studies where researchers used Hemp with cannabonoids such as CBD, CBG, CBN etc... to treat conditions like ADHD, Schizophrenia (CBD acts as anti psychotic), autism, anxiety, MS, all with very promising yet still inconclusive results.

I said screw it and borrowed some money from my mom in order to purchase it. I know it sounds like I'm bullshitting, but when I smoked for the first time it felt like my entire life came into focus. It felt like my brain activated the center that is responsible for executive function. I felt normal for the first time in my life and I actually cried my eyes out. For around 8 hours I had better focus, organization skills, improved memory, my language problems went away and I actually knew how to read the room and talk to people. It felt so amazing, but I also felt sad at the same time since I realized how much of life I was missing out on for the last 22 years... When I had CBD I did a bunch of stuff like actually applying for a job, cleaned my room, started biking and really got into reading. Also did a bunch of chores at home every single day which totally shocked my parents. I know these things seem very basic for normal people, but for me it was an astronomical achivement, and I did it all on my own! It felt like I actually got autonomy over my own brain for once instead of being a walking zombie. After a around 2 weeks I ran out, but I had no money to buy more of it so I returned to the brain fog dissociated state.

You should give it a try and see if it does anything for you (if you can afford it of course). It has <0.02% THC in it so you do not have to worry about anxiety, paranoia or anything like what normal weed could give you. I researched a bunch of brands and a few good ones that I've found were Little Collins and Beleafer (I ordered mine from Beleafer). A package of 28g of CBD cost me around 100$ and it ships to Europe in 2 weeks. Btw I have nothing to do with these brands and if mods think that I'm promoting them for my own benefit they can delete this post.

Okay so I've looked into both sites and thought I'd try exactly what you tried to start with. So I looked more into beleafer but am struggling to figure out which one you actually bought. Could you perhaps give me the specific name that it is under? I'd also like to know what to do when it comes to the "indoor strain" what does it mean and does it matter what I chose? Would be easier and less embarrassing if we could PM but ofc only if you're comfortable or Able to