I explicitly want to emphasize my impressions are not necessarily representative. Maybe it is the fault of the clinics where I was and had a bad apple or something like that. I don't want to demonize psychiatry. My numerous clinic stays helped me a lot. Some therapists were very empathetic and cared about me. Many people were clearly not black or white. The psychiatry staff that I met had usually good and bad sides. It is probably natural because they only human too. I benefited a lot from their help and especially the medication was kind of a game changer in my life quality.
That being said. I did not have long conversations with higher-ups of the psychiatry. Though I met a lot of them. Also people who were at the top of the hierarchy. I want to avoid giving too explicit details because I am scared of being identified. Personally the people in very high positions were pretty dislikeable for me. I perceived them as very smug. I think especially about a certain person. However this was not only my perception. My mom when she visited me had similar thoughts. The higher-ups seemed to be careerists. And especially these people were kind of arrogant and smug. I have talked with other patients and some agreed with me on it.
I think the following disgusted many people: We often had weekly appointments with doctors. And sometimes the higher-ups were there. I had the feeling many made monetary considerations. One pushed me not stay too long in the clinic. I would not need it despite the fact I felt horrible. Many described a similar situation. We had the feeling they think more about econimical considerations than about the human being that sits in front of them. One could say well that is the reality we live in. Resources are alway limited and we have to spend them efficiently. However I think many were sanctiomonious. I followed media and events of the psychiatry and many of them posture as fighters for humanity and ethical values. I had the feeling these people suck themselves off for the work they do for our society.
Maybe I am biased because I hate their stance on assisted suicide. They force people to jump in front of trains when they reach their limits. I recently read the person who jumps in front of a train can be sued if the train driver gets traumtized. I mean the society seemingly wants that one has to commit a crime when one wants to die but that is another topic. It is for sure hypocritcal.
I had the feeling many in that system who went the hierarchy up were kind of numb and cold. Maybe because they witnessed a lot. Some of them were so cold that it scared me. The thought which I ruminated a lot about and which gave me the idea for the thread was the following. (I won't go into details because of privacy.) A certain higher-up learned about my abuse story how horrible it really must have been. I met her soon afterwards. She looked at me somewhat serious and looked at me prayerful. Like she would stop for some seconds and acknowledge how severe my abuse must have been. 5 seconds afterwards she shoked her head and went on with her life. I met her prior to that quite some times. Honestly the situation I described felt so fake. This fake empathy. I think she did or does not give any fuck about me. There were some people who cared about me in the clinic but certainly not her.
I have met many staff members in the psychiatry. And they had different strategies how to cope with treating suffering people on a daily basis. Some had religious principles (like life is suffering), some believed in christianity and considered suicide as a sin, some called people who ctb insane and said that straight to my face, some (or many) said people who took drugs are responsible for their misery no matter what. Some really clung to that in an insane way. I met someone who thought if anyone smokes weed one time in his life this is equivalent to throwing away one's life. The whole thing was a self-defence mechanism but kind of a childish one. Especially if one considers that for example sexual abuse seemingly correlates to substance abuse. Someone told me he wished I would some weed so that he can stop worrying about me. It was a joke but such a mindset is kind of sick. He cares a lot about me but such a worldview is so black and white and pretty hypocritical. By the way the person who said that once smoked cigarettes and liked alcohol a lot. Another very popular argument I heard of many people. Well people in third world countries always have it worse. There is so much suffering in the world no matter how bad you feel there are so many more people who have it worse on this planet. I read similar mindsets in guidebooks about poverty. It made me pretty angry because poverty is relative. Gladly I did not spend money on the book. I could go on with this hypocrisy but I won't go on.
My personal message is: The people who were pretty high in the psychiatry seemed for me pretty cold and calculating. I still benefited a lot of the clinic stays. But I had the feeling the careerists were kind of arrogant and some of them seemed to be pretty judgemental. Like they had the power to decide what is wrong and what is right. It is a tough job for sure. But the system is so driven by economical calculations (this was at least my impression) the picture they have of themselves is rather sanctimonious. As I said maybe I am biased or it is not representative but this was my provisonal conclusion.
That being said. I did not have long conversations with higher-ups of the psychiatry. Though I met a lot of them. Also people who were at the top of the hierarchy. I want to avoid giving too explicit details because I am scared of being identified. Personally the people in very high positions were pretty dislikeable for me. I perceived them as very smug. I think especially about a certain person. However this was not only my perception. My mom when she visited me had similar thoughts. The higher-ups seemed to be careerists. And especially these people were kind of arrogant and smug. I have talked with other patients and some agreed with me on it.
I think the following disgusted many people: We often had weekly appointments with doctors. And sometimes the higher-ups were there. I had the feeling many made monetary considerations. One pushed me not stay too long in the clinic. I would not need it despite the fact I felt horrible. Many described a similar situation. We had the feeling they think more about econimical considerations than about the human being that sits in front of them. One could say well that is the reality we live in. Resources are alway limited and we have to spend them efficiently. However I think many were sanctiomonious. I followed media and events of the psychiatry and many of them posture as fighters for humanity and ethical values. I had the feeling these people suck themselves off for the work they do for our society.
Maybe I am biased because I hate their stance on assisted suicide. They force people to jump in front of trains when they reach their limits. I recently read the person who jumps in front of a train can be sued if the train driver gets traumtized. I mean the society seemingly wants that one has to commit a crime when one wants to die but that is another topic. It is for sure hypocritcal.
I had the feeling many in that system who went the hierarchy up were kind of numb and cold. Maybe because they witnessed a lot. Some of them were so cold that it scared me. The thought which I ruminated a lot about and which gave me the idea for the thread was the following. (I won't go into details because of privacy.) A certain higher-up learned about my abuse story how horrible it really must have been. I met her soon afterwards. She looked at me somewhat serious and looked at me prayerful. Like she would stop for some seconds and acknowledge how severe my abuse must have been. 5 seconds afterwards she shoked her head and went on with her life. I met her prior to that quite some times. Honestly the situation I described felt so fake. This fake empathy. I think she did or does not give any fuck about me. There were some people who cared about me in the clinic but certainly not her.
I have met many staff members in the psychiatry. And they had different strategies how to cope with treating suffering people on a daily basis. Some had religious principles (like life is suffering), some believed in christianity and considered suicide as a sin, some called people who ctb insane and said that straight to my face, some (or many) said people who took drugs are responsible for their misery no matter what. Some really clung to that in an insane way. I met someone who thought if anyone smokes weed one time in his life this is equivalent to throwing away one's life. The whole thing was a self-defence mechanism but kind of a childish one. Especially if one considers that for example sexual abuse seemingly correlates to substance abuse. Someone told me he wished I would some weed so that he can stop worrying about me. It was a joke but such a mindset is kind of sick. He cares a lot about me but such a worldview is so black and white and pretty hypocritical. By the way the person who said that once smoked cigarettes and liked alcohol a lot. Another very popular argument I heard of many people. Well people in third world countries always have it worse. There is so much suffering in the world no matter how bad you feel there are so many more people who have it worse on this planet. I read similar mindsets in guidebooks about poverty. It made me pretty angry because poverty is relative. Gladly I did not spend money on the book. I could go on with this hypocrisy but I won't go on.
My personal message is: The people who were pretty high in the psychiatry seemed for me pretty cold and calculating. I still benefited a lot of the clinic stays. But I had the feeling the careerists were kind of arrogant and some of them seemed to be pretty judgemental. Like they had the power to decide what is wrong and what is right. It is a tough job for sure. But the system is so driven by economical calculations (this was at least my impression) the picture they have of themselves is rather sanctimonious. As I said maybe I am biased or it is not representative but this was my provisonal conclusion.
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