Story My Long-awaited therapy appointment

[20ClownRules]

12pm, June 3rd. I woke up to a phone call and I almost forgot my appointment yet again...
You see, this was my therapist since 2019, and she has helped me out through thick and thin. We have to call on phone now, since, you know; the pandemic shit, right?

So, my mother came to wake me up and I woke up to accept my call, to be greeted by a friendly hello and a "how are you today?" ... this, is how all of my appointments start, and I won't lie, I feel a type of comfort and a lot of stress come off of me when my therapist calls me. Usually, what we talk about is little things... but, this was more on the darker end.

I told her the following:

• My Unstable Relationship with my parents (it's getting a little better but... this is my last chance with my father.)
• A Friendship that was Toxic in two ways (one that didn't want me to go, one that wanted me to end it all)
• My Brother's Custody of my Niece (One of the only parts of the family that keep me going, really. she's 2 years of age.)
• The blurriness in my right eye (how it's treatable and all)
• The fact that I couldn't speak with the other pharmacist in the same facility about my depression or anxiety because of med changes.
• Finally, my new Voluntary job with art.​

Thankfully, she doesn't know that I'm here... I'm on the recovery thread because I honestly don't want to be in a depressive state of mind anymore.
People that I have met on SS are wonderful in their own way... ! I can say that with confidence, since I actually want to make friends on here, and wanted to since the chatroom has been open for me.

I don't think I wish to say farewell just yet... it's too early, and my therapist has made me wish to be alive even more so. There is still something to fight and live for... at least, for me and my side; according to what she said, and I believe that wholeheartedly.

Plus, I feel like I have to talk about my niece, for context on what's happening;

Her Mother left her, but her Father (my brother, Code name AKM) stayed for her sake... but I told my therapist that it's quite fucked up for someone to stick around for two years; only to be gone for the rest of their child's lifetime. Which, she agreed with along with what I said next; "I don't believe her own mother is a human being; since I have had suspicions about her from the start, the same as Fate (code name for my other brother), who has had first suspicions before I did."

This story... is very sad, and I will tell you that AKM is more family-oriented than whoever the mother was- I just don't want to mention her, because she was trying to find excuses to leave the house, and then one day, she just left the child in AKM's arms, which; by default, all mothers have custody, until the father steps in and brings in money to the government. My parents are trying to help him gain custody, but... this will be difficult, knowing the circumstances.

I just hope for the best. and also; to let everyone know; this appointment, even if it was just one... ...it helped me a LOT. mentally... ...and I hope it continues to do that.

 

[timf]

Focusing your thoughts in preparation to share them with another can be helpful in itself. it can help put things in perspective.

Your concern for your niece shows a good heart If you are experimenting with different medication for depression, you might consider SAMe. It is available over the counter in the US but by superscription in Europe. it doesn't help everyone, but some have found it helpful for depression.

 

[20ClownRules]

Focusing your thoughts in preparation to share them with another can be helpful in itself. it can help put things in perspective.

Your concern for your niece shows a good heart If you are experimenting with different medication for depression, you might consider SAMe. It is available over the counter in the US but by superscription in Europe. it doesn't help everyone, but some have found it helpful for depression.

Well, I think ever since childhood; I have had a heart that's bigger than my mind, if you get that. Which could get me into some trouble... but, I know that it's in the right place. of course, with my niece; I might be someone she looks up to, and I don't want to let her down. knowing that she knew of my existence, according to AKM... [still using code names, since it's close to an online alias he uses]
Plus, something about it... makes me hopeful for the future.

With the topic of medication; I would have to look at side effects, if there are any, of course... because, if it clashes with any other med that I have, then I could be screwed over... I don't know most of mine by heart, but I could try to.