Venting My life is suffering just for the sake of it.

[FuneralCry]

Everyday I think how meaningless individual human lives are how we only exist just to die. Then why do we have to endure so much pointless anguish?
I think at this point I have too many physical health problems to even think about enjoying life. I impulsively listened to music through headphones in the first time over a year which I hadn't been doing because of ear problems. I actually enjoyed it but then I was rewarded with ear pain and even worse tinnitus. If I try to enjoy anything, it just leads to even more pain. I have been having other symptoms recently but I am told that they are all just in my head and that I just need to ignore them. My body is too damaged for this life and I should be able to opt out.
I was never mentally suited for this life either. I have felt as though there was this hollow emptiness inside of me as well as my autism causing me to be constantly frustrated due to sensitivity to certain sounds.
I embrace the concept of death. I love the sound of eternal nothingness and I know it is the best option for me. It comforts me knowing there is an other side to all this. I believe all our suffering is rewarded by it. However I am terrified of CTB. It haunts me that the only way out is to do traumatic methods that require planning courage and can fail. I do not want to ruin the lives of others. Therefore I feel trapped in this life. I dream of erasing my existence and completely disappearing.

 

[WornOutLife]

It seems we're feeling the same way.

I can't stop watching videos and reading about existence, death, the origin of everything, etc.
Why is there something instead of nothing? This is so weird.

I really think that there's a goddamn guy playing a videogame and I'm just his avatar. I'm going crazy lol.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Everyday I think how meaningless individual human lives are how we only exist just to die. Then why do we have to endure so much pointless anguish?

I think it's so shitty at how we are forced to live like this for no reason at all. It's so painful that we have to suffer pointlessly and cruelly.

I think at this point I have too many physical health problems to even think about enjoying life. I impulsively listened to music through headphones in the first time over a year which I hadn't been doing because of ear problems. I actually enjoyed it but then I was rewarded with ear pain and even worse tinnitus. If I try to enjoy anything, it just leads to even more pain. I have been having other symptoms recently but I am told that they are all just in my head and that I just need to ignore them. My body is too damaged for this life and I should be able to opt out.

I can't relate to have tinnitus but it truly does sound awful to have damaged ears. I'm so sorry for your ear problems, you never deserved to have all of this suffering. I wish that you never had to go through all this pain in the first place. I agree that you deserve to opt out.

I was never mentally suited for this life either. I have felt as though there was this hollow emptiness inside of me as well as my autism causing me to be constantly frustrated due to sensitivity to certain sounds.
I embrace the concept of death. I love the sound of eternal nothingness and I know it is the best option for me. It comforts me knowing there is an other side to all this. I believe all our suffering is rewarded by it. However I am terrified of CTB. It haunts me that the only way out is to do traumatic methods that require planning courage and can fail. I do not want to ruin the lives of others. Therefore I feel trapped in this life. I dream of erasing my existence and completely disappearing.

I relate so much to all of this. I always has a hollow emptiness inside of me too and I relate to feeling frustrated over certain sounds due to autism. Death still is, and will always be, beautiful and peaceful. No matter what people say, you will always be right with your perspective about death. Death is beautiful because it's just permanent non existence which means no more suffering for all eternity.

I feel trapped in this life too. I remember when you said that ctb didn't even seem like an option for you and I think that it doesn't seem like an option for me too due to my massive executive dysfunction (or rather just dysfunction overall) and being unable to cope with any amount of stress and pressure - and ctb causes a lot of stress and pressure. I wish I could be dead. I wish I had the motivation to kill myself off but I don't think I can do it. I get headaches everyday about my suffering and how I'm still alive. It hurts so much and I would cry over it but I can't as now I just feel pain, no tears

I hope you find peace soon FC. I believe that everybody deserves peace but, if I'm being honest, I think that you deserve it more than anybody else.. maybe I'm just biased as you're the only person in the entire world who has managed to comfort me for a bit. Still, I hope that you can peacefully drift off to sleep one day and your eyes never open as you are finally in peace and relief... as all dead people are

 

[sserafim]

Life is suffering and I don't understand why it has to be like that. I would've preferred to never even have existed in the first place than to suffer. There's no point in having to suffer. Anyone who willingly chooses to suffer is literally sadistic or masochistic