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Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
I am so tired and done with everything. I'm tired of being scared all the time (I have PTSD) and being scared of myself. I'm tired with dealing with all this.

Most of all, I'm tired of feeling guilty for everything. Guilt runs my life, in both big ways and small.

Like right now all I want to do is lie in bed, but I won't because I feel so ashamed and worthless to do that. (I just want to note that this is totally a double standard. I am super supportive of other people feeling this way, but with myself, there is no forgiveness).
 
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brokenheart007

New Member
Jul 12, 2020
4
I'm right there with you. Even before this latest slide deep enough to make me think seriously about ending things it was an almost daily struggle with past actions and things I did/didn't do. Guilt is the overwhelming feeling along with sadness that has practically defined the last 13 years of my life.
 
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Reactions: Thinking and No_more
Onlyout

Onlyout

Member
Jun 16, 2020
9
I am so tired and done with everything. I'm tired of being scared all the time (I have PTSD) and being scared of myself. I'm tired with dealing with all this.

Most of all, I'm tired of feeling guilty for everything. Guilt runs my life, in both big ways and small.

Like right now all I want to do is lie in bed, but I won't because I feel so ashamed and worthless to do that. (I just want to note that this is totally a double standard. I am super supportive of other people feeling this way, but with myself, there is no forgiveness).

Pretty much me, except I actually am resting in my pain and making myself feel like I've done irredeemable things. The truth is, I haven't done anything worse than most people at some point in their lives. Still, I have always scrutinized myself and exaggerated my "sins."
 
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Reactions: Und0n, next-season .? and Thinking
Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
I feel the same. It's getting to me today.
Glad to know I'm not the only one. Do you ever feel guilty for not feeling guilty some days? On the rare occasions when I don't feel guilty, or when I think about forgiving myself, I feel more guilty and hate myself even more than before.
 
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next-season .?

next-season .?

Member
May 28, 2020
53
Glad to know I'm not the only one. Do you ever feel guilty for not feeling guilty some days? On the rare occasions when I don't feel guilty, or when I think about forgiving myself, I feel more guilty and hate myself even more than before.
:'(:'(that's exactly me
 
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Reactions: Thinking
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

---
Apr 8, 2020
1,636
I am so tired and done with everything. I'm tired of being scared all the time (I have PTSD) and being scared of myself. I'm tired with dealing with all this.

Most of all, I'm tired of feeling guilty for everything. Guilt runs my life, in both big ways and small.

Like right now all I want to do is lie in bed, but I won't because I feel so ashamed and worthless to do that. (I just want to note that this is totally a double standard. I am super supportive of other people feeling this way, but with myself, there is no forgiveness).
You're not alone in feeling this way. Guilt and shame rule my life. It literally physically hurts.
 
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Reactions: Thinking and darkghost
Y

Yiyo123

Member
Apr 24, 2020
93
I'm simply tired of everything that surrounds me. I constantly close my eyes to escape the reality of my life. I been so dissapointed with my life for years.

I'm also married and I love my wife. Nevertheless, everyday i wish it was my last. I worked for 25 year in a health insurance company and was bullied every single day by my co-workers and even my manager. I felt
like I was nothing, complety useless and alone. Nobody care... so i started to feel like and empty shell. My live has no meaning or purpose. l'm simply tired of living. But and I don't know if this is ironic, but I would like my death yo be meaningful (give life to someone who really wanted it). So that's my struggle, i don't know how could i acomplish this whish of mine.
 
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Reactions: LM10, Thinking and clocktower
Folie

Folie

Member
Jul 14, 2020
36
I feel like a burden to all of those I love the most. I understand where you're coming from for sure.
 
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