Venting My life is not worth the effort.

[alfie]

Honestly don't know how I can keep staying alive while experiencing extreme loneliness. And this loneliness is probably not remediable because I am unattractive inside and out. I think I'm just boring and uninteresting.

And any attempt to change my personality ends in failure because being someone that others want is unnatural to me and thus impossible to pull off. It doesn't help that I have extreme social anxiety and shyness to boot.

A lot of people are effortlessly charismatic yet seem very lonely and this baffles me. A lot of people have a lot people wanting to be close with them and yet they push them away.

It is unfair but I have accepted that life is inherently unfair and we must grab what little comfort we can from it, within ethical and legal bounds, of course.

Just wanted to know how you cope with extreme loneliness, alienation, and isolation, and consequently fear of social interaction.

Just wanted to know how you cope with being unwanted and unloved.

 

[Wayfaerer]

How unattractive are we talking here? I bet if you kept to a gym routine you get bump up a few points. Then, once you have that, the confidence that brings will make you more outgoing. It might not work but I think it's worth a try if that's why you're contemplating CTB.

 

[alfie]

How unattractive are we talking here? I bet if you kept to a gym routine you get bump up a few points. Then, once you have that, the confidence that brings will make you more outgoing. It might not work but I think it's worth a try if that's why you're contemplating CTB.

i'm extremely shy so even if i became muscular i'd still be considered unattractive... also, i hate how my face looks and that can't be changed except through plastic surgery which looks fake... also, even if i weren't shy, people consider my personality to be boring and predictable... in other words, i got the short end of the stick in life and there is little i can do about it... i am probably doomed to eternal loneliness...

 

[Voy]

Read philosophy books, strange answer but that's what I come up with lol. Just don't let you fall into echo chambers.

 

[Wayfaerer]

i'm extremely shy so even if i became muscular i'd still be considered unattractive... also, i hate how my face looks and that can't be changed except through plastic surgery which looks fake... also, even if i weren't shy, people consider my personality to be boring and predictable... in other words, i got the short end of the stick in life and there is little i can do about it... i am probably doomed to eternal loneliness...

I think you'd be surprised what a well chiseled body can do to someone mentally but I understand, especially someone who is at the bottom it is very daunting trying to climb your way up. I also understand the loneliness as I grew up as an agoraphobic NEET a long time ago but once you break through that barrier, man, It's really something else. When you realize that people aren't judging you as much as you think, it makes being in public a lot easier. Automatic Defeatism will definitely drag yourself down. After all, isn't it better to try and fail than never try at all and never knowing what could have been?

Even if you are afraid of going to the gym, you can still work out at home (cocoon-mode) with bar-and-dumbells. There are plenty of resources online for learning how to do the exercises. All I'm really saying is that if you're problem is with your appearance or personality that's not entirely hopeless.

As far as your face is conerned, can you grow a beard?

 

[alfie]

I think you'd be surprised what a well chiseled body can do to someone mentally but I understand, especially someone who is at the bottom it is very daunting trying to climb your way up. I also understand the loneliness as I grew up as an agoraphobic NEET a long time ago but once you break through that barrier, man, It's really something else. When you realize that people aren't judging you as much as you think, it makes being in public a lot easier. Automatic Defeatism will definitely drag yourself down. After all, isn't it better to try and fail than never try at all and never knowing what could have been?

Even if you are afraid of going to the gym, you can still work out at home (cocoon-mode) with bar-and-dumbells. There are plenty of resources online for learning how to do the exercises. All I'm really saying is that if you're problem is with your appearance or personality that's not entirely hopeless.

As far as your face is conerned, can you grow a beard?

Hey, I really appreciate your advice...

It's just I believe that if people cannot like me because of my personality then even if I become physically attractive, it is meaningless... Even if I were to be more attractive as a friend to other people, then it'd only be because of my body because i can't change my personality. I know this because I tried to.

I'm really sorry for seeming self-defeating and hopeless.

It's just that I'm at the stage where I have deeply accepted that I am unloveable and the next step is to figure out how to live with the loneliness that comes with being unwanted.

 

[almost_dead]

How do I cope with loneliness ?

By hugging my pillow

 

[alfie]

How do I cope with loneliness ?

By hugging my pillow

Ha. If I had a body pillow then that would actually help a bit, as pathetic as it sounds... I will get one soon, for sure

 

[Wayfaerer]

Hey, I really appreciate your advice...

It's just I believe that if people cannot like me because of my personality then even if I become physically attractive, it is meaningless... Even if I were to be more attractive as a friend to other people, then it'd only be because of my body because i can't change my personality. I know this because I tried to.

I'm really sorry for seeming self-defeating and hopeless.

It's just that I'm at the stage where I have deeply accepted that I am unloveable and the next step is to figure out how to live with the loneliness that comes with being unwanted.

Just bear with me for a little more:

Personality would come after appearance, not the other way around. I'm telling you man, being in shape will help a lot not just physically but in your mind as well. If you can grow a beard then that can cover up whatever appearance issues you have to some extent. Balding? Just shave your head.
I mean, I'm not trying to throw around platitudes like someone "normal" would be trying to make it out to be a piece of cake or a walk in the park or anything because it's not easy for people in your position it's going to be very challenging but It's not impossible even if it really really feels like it. When you get into the swing of things, it'll feel automatic but it's going to be very hard in the beginning. Once you pass that initial hurdle, though, it takes care of itself. At least go for runs every week just for your mental health. I vastly underestimated regular exercise and it's mental health benefits in the beginning.

You know what got me over my "social anxiety disorder" (officially diagnosed) when I was a teen? Frequenting this local general store regularly and having casual conversation with the clerk. I also had gotten a hair cut and that helped a ton. Before that point, I was awkward as hell and would avoid any and all social contact, but after that, I made frequent eye contact with everyone and it was all automatic from that point on. I'm still an introvert but since then I could interact with people effortlessly even complete strangers. No one is "unloveable" unless they are literal psychopaths or the like.

I mean, I can't make you do anything. I'd follow my own advice but I'm not here because of loneliness or anything like that, although my life has certainly been plagued with a lot of it. I'm here because my body is permafucked and I can't get a new one. If only I could get my old body back...

Anyway, failing that, how do live your life of loneliness until you die. I'm not going to lie, it's going to be difficult af. I guess wait for AI girlfriend and get a fleshlight?

 

[alfie]

Personality would come after appearance, not the other way around.

This is actually a fascinating insight that hasn't really fully occurred to me before you pointed it out. Maybe if I improved my appearance, then people's perceptions of me would improve not just because of how I would appear to them but also because of how I would perceive myself. Same would go for the content of my mind. If I filled my mind with things that are desirable to others then maybe, just maybe, i would become desirable to others in turn. Thank you for this. It is definitely food for thought.

 

[Wayfaerer]

This is actually a fascinating insight that hasn't really fully occurred to me before you pointed it out. Maybe if I improved my appearance, then people's perceptions of me would improve not just because of how I would appear to them but also because of how I would perceive myself. Same would go for the content of my mind. If I filled my mind with things that are desirable to others then maybe, just maybe, i would become desirable to others in turn. Thank you for this. It is definitely food for thought.

yes YES exactly! If you're afraid of going to the gym because of shyness or fear of being watched, then trust me when I say that no one there will give a fuck.

 

[mr.smileysad]

if you ever need someone to chat to feel free to dm me it is impossible to offend me and I dont judge anyone except for trump and hitler