Venting my life is getting worse with each day but i still cant gather the courage

[vultureilse]

i was planning on doing it after i move out because i dont want to traumatize my family and its impossible for me to discretely order sn while living with them but its so hard to wait. i just want it to end. i dont wanna wait months or even years to die. i just cant go on, each day is worse than the last, the antidepressants arent doing enough

since i cant get sn i was going to try night night or partial hanging but i just cant gather up the courage to go through with it. i start freaking out right before fainting. its not just si im not ready for death but i dont wanna be alive either why cant i just dissapear

 

[Seekingawayout]

I feel the exact same way. I've tried partial for 3 days. I always stand back up. And I hate myself for it. I wish I would just drop dead. Here it is, another day, and I don't know if I have it in me to try again.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it's awful and so tiring feeling trapped in this cruel world when all that you really wish for is to be gone. I hate the fact that suicide is so difficult and how we have to suffer so much in finding ways to leave, it really would be ideal if we had the option to just disappear, that's what I wish for as well more than anything but it's sadly not the reality. I do hope that eventually you find the freedom that you wish for as it's completely understandable wanting to not endure an existence which just continues to get worse and worse as time goes on.

 

[Sparx]

I understand what you're going through, my life has become an utter sh*tshow over the last six months and is very likely to get worse in the future and I still am debating with myself what to do about it. I too wish I could just disappear.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

What do you think you could do to alleviate things until you move out?

 

[throwawayyy]

Same here. Trying to claw my way out but it just gets worse

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

One ring of hell gives way to another

 

[theboy]

nigth nigth is not good. Rope is better